L Word 412: Bette & the Big Tractor

Oh, the last episode of the season of The L Word. It’s so sad. There’s only one thing that can make me feel better and it’s to hear big & lovely Toshi Reagon singing on the street corner, where Bette gives her a dollar or two. But what’s that above her head? A sign that reads “17 Reasons Why.” Suddenly Bette is inspired to put more money in Toshi’s guitar case. It means something, we just don’t know what.

17 Reasons Why

But then we learn that Jodi liked that sign. She wanted to add it to a sculpture. And since Jodi is no ordinary person who will not be wooed back into Bette’s arms with a cliché like flowers, Bette has to go the extra mile. Thank god she has good friends like Shane and Alice who are willing to break the law, risk their lives, climb some dilapidated building and cut that sign down piece by piece so Bette can try and win back the love of her life.

An aside--is Jodi really the love of her life, or is it Tina? Tina for one is regretting that they ever broke up. Funny how she’s forgotten how awful Bette was to her, how she cheated on her and totally ignored her feelings. Tina’s having leaver’s remorse. So much so that she won’t even get it on with hot movie director Kate Arden. Tina’s probably going to miss that opportunity because as Kate put it, “Girls like me don’t stay on the open market very long. So if you want some of this, you’d better get in here sooner rather than later.” With a line like that, I’m thinking I’d say, “Later…”

Shane, Paige and Jared

Shane and Paige are getting it on though. But Jared keeps walking in on them. Paige decides it’s time for “the talk.” They sit the kid down and tell him that they’re girlfriends. Jared is okay with Shane, but he doesn’t want his mom to be a lez. Then Shane gets all weird and starts talking about being a family and living together and him and Shay being brothers. Jared nails it when he says, “But Shay doesn’t live with you anymore.” Shane’s got some weird delusions going on and it seems apparent that Paige isn’t buying into them. In a wonderful sex scene, Paige is having flashes of a life with Shane. Only it’s the 1950s and Shane is the dad, with slicked back hair and nerdy glasses and Paige is serving breakfast in her bathrobe. Something tells me this arrangement is so not going to happen. Paige doesn’t want a settled down life, she wants hot sex with a rebel dyke like Shane.

So many story lines to tie up in this episode. Helena is beginning to see that being a kept woman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Especially when Catherine expects her to fold her underwear and miss Tasha’s going away party for a poker game. When Catherine slips out, Helena empties the safe. Awesome!

Max is heading up to San Francisco for his surgery, but he’s not so sure he’s going to go through with it. I guess we’ll find that out next season.

Tasha is getting ready to go to Iraq, but Alice is pissed and won’t talk to her. Alice, just because you’ve been in denial that you’re dating an army girl, you shouldn’t take it out on her. Luckily, we’re visited by a ghost from the past. Dana, looking so lovely now that she’s dead, comes and tells Alice to get over herself and get her party dress on and head over to that going away party. Thankfully, Alice takes her advice and Tasha shows what a big person she is by just enveloping Alice in her arms. Oh, Ilene Chaiken, please don’t kill Tasha in the war. If this isn’t reason enough for you to start calling for the withdrawal of troops for Iraq, I don’t know what is!

Crazy Jenny

And then there’s Jenny. Where do I begin? She’s being fired from the movie because it seems her screen writing just isn’t cutting it. Tina’s trying to tell her, but Jenny has no time to listen. She’s off to get a puppy. “A Pomeranian. It’s going to be so mini and so cute!” What is she, Paris Hilton now? She really goes off the deep end. (Didn’t she do this at the end of Season 3?) She names the poor Pomeranian Sounder, like the dog she killed. Then she storms into the movie meeting with the dog, calls Tina all sorts of nasty names while the Pomeranian pees on the board room table. And later, at Tasha’s party, Jenny is feeling sorry for herself. She drags a raft out to the shore and promises the little dog she’s taking him along and then next thing we know, she’s drifting alone out at sea. Who knows what shore she’ll end up on at the start of season five? And why did she leave poor Sounder the second?

To me, the best scene was the return of Jane Lynch as Joyce Wischnia who quickly moves in on Phyllis and the two gleefully run off together to “jump each others bones.” All right there were two other great scenes. The first is Bette driving a tractor with that stupid “17 Reasons Why” sign down some dirt road to where Jodi is. The lighting is perfect and Bette and Jodi look perfect as Jodi says, “You’d better not break my heart.” And they kiss. But my heart is breaking now, as I see Alice and Tasha laying in the sand in each other’s arms as the sun comes up while Pink’s “Dear Mr. President” plays.

That's it kids, the end of season four. We're so glad Showtime has picked up The L Word for Season Five. Until then, let's go back to season one and watch them all over again.
_{Photos Courtesy of Showtime}