We are the parents of a 15 Yrs old daughter and she has recently told us that she is gay. In a million years we would never imagined this coming. To us she was always a tomboy type, but we thought that she would grow out of it as other girls in our family do.
I don't Know how to accept my gay daughterNow I donít know how to accept this. She tells us that she is still a virgin and never had sex with either gender. Her only encounter was when she kissed three girls in her Junior high and two boys. She says she felt stronger feeling towards girls. Now we donít know if this is a phase and only pray that it is. However we feel since sheís been hanging with these group of kids her age who are a mixture of gay lesbian and straights who are very liberal and make our daughter feel like sheís a part of something.This might be a big reason why she is acting this way.
Weíve had instances where we found out that she was cutting herself when she was 14. She responded by saying this was the only way she was able to get in touch with her emotions.
There was always something different about herAbout coming out, she tells us was that she was tired of having these feelings and keeping it to herself and crying herself to sleep at night. I always knew that there was something different about her because she is very reserved and likes to isolate herself, bury her head in her books and her music, but lately itís been getting out of hand. I found lesbian music videos in her myspace page and she had another hidden myspace page that had more of this type of content. One time she came home three hours late because she said that she was hanging out with some girl that had a crush on her. Needless to say, we still gave her what we felt was a well deserved asswooping for lying to us about where she really was.
Our daughter gets very good grades in school and her teachers canít stop praising her enough. This is a good thing, considering all the bad things that could be happening, but as parents we feel that if she would of told us she was pregnant we would have handled that much better than this her being a Lesbian.
I don't understand itI still canít understand it. Weíve always given her anything that she has wanted and always let her know that we love her, but this news that she has given us changes everything. We have a younger daughter we feel might be influenced by our older daughterís behavior. This isnít news we can share with the rest of the family and forget about us ever being grandparents.
All of this is just killing us. I see her now and get sick just looking at her. I just wanted to strangle her. All the time money and love put into this child and never trying to put to much pressure on her and ask very little in return and now she springs this shit on us. Both me and her mother are angry as hell and feel she is being influenced by outside sources and is just trying to fit in with her friends. I donít know how to handle this. We are ready to pull her out of her school and her after school film club activities and canceling her sweet sixteen. This is making us so sick we canít eat sleep or even think straight.
Dear DadI can feel your anguish and confusion. Certainly your daughter coming out is not something you planned for or even considered. But here it is and you are forced to deal with it.
The first thing you need to understand is that this is who your daughter is. Itís not something she chose or something she is doing to hurt you or because you are not good parents. Actually, the fact that she told you should be a testament to the fact that she trusts you and feels the ability to be open with you. Keep reading...
© Photo by Daycha Kijpattanapinyo