I am having a big issue around if I am a lesbian or not. I believe I am for many reasons. I have done the whole thing of having boyfriends but but feel it was more to meet everyone else’s expectations. I was afraid if I followed my heart that I would lose my family and be alone. Being alone is one of my biggest fears.
A little history: I was sexually abused for many years and by several people. I was raped and I do not believe that has made an impact on my sexuality as many have asked me in the past. It really makes me upset when people think I am gay because of it.
Because of the abuse I don't like anyone to be close to me male or female. I am alone at the present time and it scares the hell out of me. My therapist is aware I am questioning my sexuality but I just haven't really been able to talk in front of her about it. She has told me that she is very comfortable talking about sexuality and she wouldn't think any different of me if I were to come out. She knows it isn't an easy thing to do and not everyone will understand.
My Family is HomophobicMy family is so phobic of anyone they feel isn't straight and if I was to even let it slip of my feelings I am afraid they will all leave me. I know this shouldn't matter but they are my family.
I guess my question to you is how do you really know if you are a lesbian? If you are how do you tell your family so they don't leave you?
Coming Out Scared