Should I come Out to My Parents?
From The Lesbian Life Forum
I’m 17 and live at home with my family. I have a girlfriend who I've been with for about 6 months but its really been going on for about a year and a half. Her parents know about us and don't take it well at all. They argue a lot and she finds it hard to cope. Her parents have threatened her that they'll tell mine if I don't tell them soon. But then it's never happened so I don’t know how serious that threat is.No one in my family is gay or lesbian so I don't really know what it would be like. I was talking about a gay friend of mine and my dad said “How can you know that young?” I replied with “Well you probably knew you were straight.” My mum supported me on this and we were both arguing against my dad but all in a light hearted way. My dad then said "Oh so you'd be ok if Rita was a lesbian?” My mum said "Yea it’s her life." But I don't know if she just said it to wind my dad up and if she really meant it. But my dad obviously doesn't like the idea of it.
Lately it’s been getting really hard to hide the fact that I have a girlfriend like it's just getting more and more obvious to them. I’m just not sure if I should just tell them or not. I would like to but I just can't imagine that kind of situation with my parents. I have thought that I would before but the words can never come out. Any advice or opinions would be appreciated.
Comments
i’m in the same situation as you are. i have a girlfriend and we meet each other every day and we come to each other’s home almost every day and sleep inthe same bed.. (for 2 years by now) and still our parents don’t seem to know what’s going on.. or at least they pretend not to, but really well. they hate everything to do with gay people, and i’m afraid to tell them about myself. though i feel like i want to tell them veru much, i love them and i don’t want to play that pronoun game anymore.. so probably it’s better to consider all cons and pros and decide once and for all.. i wish u the best of it
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i like girls. i fantasizes about kissing and making love. its hard for me to admit it because i try to lie to myself but i want to date a girl. share my first kiss with a girl . i want to have sex with her. i dont know how buit i want to.
Coming out to parents is usually very difficult. Most parents do not want their children to be gay. Many parents will ‘disown’ their children for a period of time until their heart overcomes what the brain has difficulty processing. Some parents NEVER get over it.
I would advise anyone who is gay to wait until they are prepared to live with the consequences of coming out before they actually do it.
You could be thrown out of your house, or sent away to live with friends or relatives (to remove you from your environment and peers), or any number of things as your parents adjust to your ‘news’.
Sometimes it is best to wait until you are supporting yourself before you tell them. Sometimes it is best not to tell them at all.
Most of us seek our parents unconditional love. Be sure you are in a place where you can survive without it before you ultimately test it.
Hey there,
I was probably 12 when I figured out I was different. It scared the crap out of me to think about telling my parents. I told my mom first since I lived with her. I met a girl in high school and we were together all 4 years and for a bit after that. I never figured that my dad and step mom knew, but now that Im older(21) How could they not have known?. I never had to tell my dad, someone I thought was a good friend “outed” me. Sometimes I think its akward but my family loves me and has respect for me and who I am. I think you will know when the time is right for you to tell you parents. Try telling one at a time. Your mom may be able to ease your dad into the reality that you are different. There is nothing wrong with being different.