What Do I Do About My Clingy Girlfriend?
Thursday September 4, 2008
Dear Lesbian Life:
I have been dating my current girlfriend for nine months. We have been friends since our freshman year of college (about 6 yrs). Here's my dilemma: I feel like I don't want to be with her romantically any longer some days, and others I feel like I couldn't love her any more than I already do.Everything started great... the time we spent together was magical and every time I would leave her apartment to go back to mine I just wanted to stay longer. Like most new couples, we couldn't get enough of each other. But, the problems started developing shortly afterwards.
She is Clingy
She is really clingy. We don't go a day without talking multiple times. She gets agitated if I want to do anything without her. In fact, she's practically invited herself to hang out with my friends and me multiple times. And if she doesn't do that, I feel like she's guilting me into inviting her by saying "I don't know what I'm going to do while you're gone."I Feel Trapped
We did move in together and I feel trapped because we are together 24/7. I have tried to take a break from the relationship with her twice before but to no avail because she started crying and I didn't want to hurt her. Right now all I want is to take a vacation somewhere else and not feel the need to talk to her. AND, I don't know how to bring any of this up again because I tell her quite frequently now that I think we both need to hang out with people we haven't contacted in a while...
Comments
Dear Trapped,
I understand your point of view. My gf of three years is clingy too. I agree with Kathy, you do have to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. I felt EXACTLY how you describe at 9 months. I wanted to RUN.. but decided to stay and establish boundaries. At first my gf did not like it, but she learned that I needed my space, my time away. Basically we compromised and two years later here we are. Does she still get clingy.. you bet! People don’t change, but it is up to you to stand up and keep your boundaries. That is not going to “hurt” her, it will in fact keep your relationship alive as you move into the maintenance phase. Things may never go back to that “honeymoon” phase, but it doesn’t mean it cannot be good again. Good Luck.