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John wrote in. This is what he wanted to know:
I am a straight male and love women. I was trained in college by a lesbian, so I could make my women happy. What I have never quite understood is, are lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them or is it hormonal, they just are drawn to other women?

Here's what I have to say:

I am sure you meant your question in purest sincerity, so I will try not to be offended by it. Itís just that I donít understand why so many men think women are gay simply because a man could not satisfy them. Being a lesbian actually has nothing to do with men. It has to do with women: Our love, attraction, sexual desire and affection for other women.

There are plenty of straight women out there who have had bad experiences with men or have partners who cannot satisfy them. Do they turn lesbian? They may joke about it...keep reading.

More Information for the Uninformed

Comments
September 18, 2008 at 2:54 am
(1) Jess says:

I find this very interesting. Being a woman myself, I feel very happy when others are happy. With whoever it might be, a boy or a girl.

But what IF, someone is straight and had a very bad relationships with men for many years. With boyfriends, fathers, brothers, or any other emotional relationship with men that have gone wrong. Then she decides “I am never going to be with a men ever again.” Does this make her a lesbian?

September 18, 2008 at 11:20 am
(2) Dee says:

That’s an interesting question Jess. I have a friend who had very bad experiences with men when she was younger and turned to women. She only dated a few men back in her late teens, but since then, her partners have all been women. She considers herself to be lesbian.
On the other hand, I myself have had bad experiences with men and now I am with a woman, but I consider myself to be bisexual because I have been with men. Although all my life I have been attracted to women, just never acted on it. So am I bi or lesbian now? Hmm…

September 18, 2008 at 2:28 pm
(3) Malina says:

I have an 18 year old daughter that is gay. She was born that way and no one could ever tell me otherwise. I knew she was gay before she did. People have asked me how I can “allow” her to be gay or if she has ever been with a guy because she may change her mind. I tell them that I can’t decide who she loves and how do they know they are straight if they have never been with someone of the same sex. I am offended by these comments and the one above. thanks

September 18, 2008 at 4:36 pm
(4) Mira says:

Some women–and men–never had a satisfying relationship with a person of the opposite gender. They may or may not be gay. They may or may not have been unable to be satisfied because they are gay. Who knows? (And does it really matter?)

There are many factors that go into someone’s sexual orientation.

September 18, 2008 at 5:28 pm
(5) Rebecca says:

It amuses me everytime someone asks me this question. I am a lesbian for the same reason that you are hetrosexual…it’s not a choice, it has nothing to do with “not having found the right male partner”…I am just emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to women, the same as you are.

I have always wanted to ask the homophobes out there that think we can change our orientation one thing…can you change yours?

September 18, 2008 at 7:27 pm
(6) Kitty says:

I love the RELATINSHIP I have with my [woman] partner. I enjoy the sex, sure I do. However, after 5 plus years together it’s more about her energy and how we relate I have dated men, I don’t enjoy that interaction. When I was young it was females that I was drawn to. I loved everything to do with women, there smell, there laughter, the way they of care about each other and of coarse a womens body.

September 18, 2008 at 9:28 pm
(7) Amy says:

You know I am really sick of men thinking they can change us…..Yes I used to be with men & it was horrible but that is BECAUSE I am a Lesbian NOT why I am a Lesbian. I was just lyng to myself…& everyone else, trying desperatly to hide who I was till I realized that it was much more painful…in the closet then in the world as myself. This is who I am & I wouldn’t change me for anybody.

September 18, 2008 at 10:58 pm
(8) CHRISSIE says:

My story is similar to Dee’s above. I knew I was a lesbian but I was with men for a long time. But I silently always admired women. I finally got the courage to ask this beautiful woman out and I’m so glad I did because we have been together ever since. She is my 1st girlfriend since I finally came out, and it feels so good to be able to be myself now more than ever! But just lke Dee, I still admire men but I feel more comfortable with women. Does that make me bi or lesbian? Either way, its not my choice, its just the way I am and I’m proud of it!

September 19, 2008 at 3:09 am
(9) Salabra says:

Rebecca (comment 5 above) is absolutely right.

Please don’t think I am trying to insult you when I ask you to imagine what you would say if a similar question were asked of you – “Why are you straight? Haven’t you ever found a man to satisfy you?”

If you think to yourself, “Straight is just what I am… I’ve never had sex with another man, nor ever wanted to,” then you have the answer that 95% of us on here will give you when you ask *your* question.

Of course, I will be extra polite in not suggesting that most men who ask such a question have an inflated sense of the invaluability of their own gender.

September 19, 2008 at 4:10 am
(10) Leslie says:

Also in some cases..straight women will just want to see what it’s like with a women and will “experiment”..but then also still sleep with men. She can then identify as a bisexual. I am a lesbian and have always known.I do not find men’s bodies attractive at all. I have friends that are male, I am close to my brother, and my father. I have never had a desire to have sex with a man at all. I only want to do that with a women. I have a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend (would be my wife if we were allowed). Guys like to think that weve never found “the right guy”..and thats why were gay. There straight so does that mean they have’nt found the “right guy” either? I have had guys ask me “You don’t like a mans touch?” I said “No, do you?” Or “how come you don’t like penis”? It sounds like they love it!!

September 19, 2008 at 11:26 am
(11) Johan Lont says:

Kathy wrote “I will try not to be offended by it” (that is, by the question asked).
A short question for Kathy: Did you succeed in not being offended? And what made it so difficult?
(I did not quite understand what John meant by my women, but that is not the topic here).

September 19, 2008 at 11:38 am
(12) Johan Lont says:

I can very much relate to what Leslie wrote about men’s bodies (comment 10). I have never understood how someone can find I a man sexually attractive. However, being a straight guy myself, I am very grateful that there are women who feel differently about this.

September 20, 2008 at 2:25 am
(13) Riki says:

It’s got so much more to do with sex… I was with a guy for four and half years, and the sex was good fun for sure. But we didn’t interact as people very well at all. And I didn’t like the person I had become while I was with him. I never felt complete while being with him and it was such a negative relationship.

Now that I’m with my girlfriend, for nearly 7 years I might add, I’ve never been happier. We interact so differently to how my ex-boyfriend and I did. There is much more understanding and equality between us, and she just ‘knows’ me.

I don’t hate guys. They simple don’t interest me. I have many guys in my life still but it’s simple that I’m interested in women and relate to them so much better. I’m naturally drawn (sexually, mentally, emotionally) to women. And that’s simply it. Nothing more nothing less. That’s just who I am and I have been brave enough to acknowledge and accept it, rather than live my life knowing there is something different about me that no-one else can know. So liberating!!!

September 21, 2008 at 2:45 am
(14) Neverspeak says:

John, you are a heterosexist moron. There is no excuse for your ignorant question in this day and age. Please read more feminist books.

September 21, 2008 at 6:04 am
(15) Geri says:

If – “I was trained in college by a lesbian,” – means “I had a female lover in college who told me she was lesbian” – then it’s understandable that the questioner is somewhat confused on this issue. Human sexuality and sexual behaviour is a complex business and can be extremely confusing. And there are women who identify as lesbian who sleep with men sometimes, apparently just because they enjoy the sex. The men they sleep with will sometimes fall in love with them. Reading between the lines, a situation something like this may be what prompted the question.

To simply be offended by the question is to fail to recognize that there are often understandable reasons why such questions get asked.To call a guy a “heterosexist moron” simply for daring to ask such a question is unlikely to achieve anything. But then the screennamne “Neverspeak” speaks volumes about the accuser. If Neverspeak spoke some more I suspect I might be tempted to call her a “biphobic moron”.

If all human beings really were all quite clearly either “straight” or “gay” then there would be a lot less confusion and misunderstanding on the subject of sexual orientation, and quite possibly a lot less prejudice about it too. But the fact of the matter is that it’s quite clear many people are not either one or the other. And even categorizing all those people as “bi” is problematic – people who are bisexual in their behaviour often object, on some level, to being labeled “bisexual”. They might enjoy sex with both but only connect emotionally with one or the other for example.

Whether or not an individual’s sexual orientation can truly change is debatable. The very real existence of bisexuality and bisexual behaviour in multiple forms, as well as heteronormative pressures to try to be “straight” and resist being “gay”, does mean that there are a significant number of people in the world who do at least appear to switch sexual orientation.

Personally I don’t think it’s right to assume that because you firmly believe that your own orientation is immutable that that means everyone else’s sexuality is fixed for life as well. People who say sexuality is fluid, are entitled to their opinion, there’s plenty of case evidence to support their way of thinking.

I prefer to think that everyone is bisexual deep down and the people who think they’re not have just not met the right person under the right circumstances yet.

The real error, as I see it, is that too many people try to simplify the complex. Try to say there is one reason, and one reason only, why people who are gay are the way they are.

Why are some queer people gay and others bi then? And why do quite a lot of queer people change their minds about what they really are?
Why do so many bi people struggle to maintain their bisexual identity?

There can be more than one reason why a woman is lesbian. And negative experiences can be a factor. Some women undoubtedly turn to women because they’ve had bad experience with men. And some women have bad experiences with women and turn to men. Some women switch from one to the other throughout most of their adult life. The writer, Patricia Highsmith was one such woman – and her longest relationships lasted barely two years. Maybe she just never met the right person, male or female.

Some bisexual women who switch from one to the other, don’t identify as bi, they identify as straight when they’re with a man and as lesbian when they’re with a woman. Others just deplore labels altogether.

If we actually pay attention to what the actress Cynthia Nixon says about her sexuality, it’s quite clear she doesn’t think she was a lesbian who was trying to be straight when she was with a man and has now fallen in love with a woman and come out as a lesbian. She says her she doesn’t feel her sexual orientation has changed. So we could say that she has revealed her bisexuality – whether or not she would describe herself as bisexual.

I am quite happy that I am bisexual. In my case it certainly doesn’t mean I can’t sustain a stable long term relationship. I’ve also decided to presume that everyone I meet is bisexual until proven guilty – I think it’s easier that way. I don’t care which gender or genders my friends and family partner with. I only care that they are happy with whoever they are with.

September 21, 2008 at 2:46 pm
(16) Neverspeak says:

No, negative experiences are not a factor. Having bad experiences with men cannot make anyone attracted to women. It can make them attempt to be attracted to women, it can prompt them to date women, to dislike or hate men, to realize that they weren’t interested in men all along, and probably many other things. It cannot create genuine attraction, though.

September 21, 2008 at 2:50 pm
(17) Jackson says:

I was married to a man for almost 10 years had great sex with my husband, but there was always that feeling inside that pulled me towards women. After trying to “do what was right” I finally followed my heart and I am living a monogomus lesbian life and have never been happier, sexually satisified and wish that men would get over the “If you would sleep with me I could fix you” bullshit.

September 21, 2008 at 3:39 pm
(18) Neverspeak says:

Dear Geri,

Actually, my screenname doesn’t “speak volumes” because you have no idea what it means, and there isn’t a single thing in my original comment to suggest that I’m biphobic, so stick to the topic and stop jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Frankly, you are no better heterosexists. It’s just as foolish and arrogant of you to think of everyone as bisexual as it is of them to think of everyone as heterosexual. I suggest you pay more attention to reality and focus less on what you “prefer to think that everyone is.”

September 22, 2008 at 9:03 am
(19) Geri says:

Got you to say a bit more at least didn’t I Neverspeak? :)

However I can’t say that anything you’ve said so far surprises me in the least.

What feminist books do you recommend that John reads btw?

September 23, 2008 at 5:37 am
(20) Geri says:

Neverspeak said: “No, negative experiences are not a factor. Having bad experiences with men cannot make anyone attracted to women. It can make them attempt to be attracted to women, it can prompt them to date women, to dislike or hate men, to realize that they werenít interested in men all along, and probably many other things. It cannot create genuine attraction, though.”

I didn’t say negative experience with men can turn a straight woman into a lesbian. I was basically saying that it can cause a woman who is fundamentally bisexual (deep down) to give up on men and focus totally on women. Or vice versa.

A person who is fundamentally bisexual may never be actively bisexual. And if she/he is not, she/he might be exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual in their sexual behaviour. Or make one decisive switch from one to the other.

Experiences, positive and negative, do influence people’s lives, development, attitudes, emotions and behaviour. And in some cases an experience can cause a dramatic change in an individual’s life. And this applies to all aspects of life – including sexual behaviour. And I dare to suggest sexuality itself.

Positive and negative experiences. We’ve all had them. And there is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, or straight – whatever the reasons are that our sexuality is what it is. And where it is.

September 23, 2008 at 6:47 am
(21) Geri says:

Neverspeak said:

“Dear Geri,

Actually, my screenname doesn’t “speak volumes” because you have no idea what it means, and there isn’t a single thing in my original comment to suggest that I’m biphobic, so stick to the topic and stop jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Frankly, you are no better heterosexists. It’s just as foolish and arrogant of you to think of everyone as bisexual as it is of them to think of everyone as heterosexual. I suggest you pay more attention to reality and focus less on what you “prefer to think that everyone is.” ”

Dear Neverspeak,

My perceptions are my reality. Your perceptions are your reality.

The notion that everyone is potentially bisexual may not be entirely true. However I know that it is much closer to the truth than the notion that everyone is either heterosexual or homosexual. That notion is patently, and axiomatically not true. And completely and utterly ridiculous in every way.

In case you haven’t noticed already, bisexual people have a notable tendency to posit the notion that everyone is really bisexual. This is our defensive reaction to being told that we do not really exist and that we are indecisive and confused people who should choose to be either gay or straight. When someone tells me to make such a choice, which happens not infrequently, it strongly suggests to me that they may have made some such choice themselves. Why else would they imagine it is possible for me to choose not to be bi?

Your original comment didn’t tell me you are biphobic. It did however tell me enough to suspect that you probably do not identify as bisexual. And your responses to my original comment makes me almost certain that you don’t identify as bisexual :) Is my perception incorrect in this regard?

Please note, that I did not actually call you a biphobic moron. However you most definitely did call John a heterosexist moron. And in my opinion that was not justifiable reaction to his questions. It would have been very justifiable if he hah said ” aren’t lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them.” But he didn’t actually say that did he?

It is often far from easy to differentiate between bisexual women and lesbians. Not just for men, but for bisexual women and lesbians as well.

September 23, 2008 at 6:53 am
(22) Geri says:

Neverspeak said:

” Dear Geri,

Actually, my screenname doesn’t “speak volumes” because you have no idea what it means, and there isn’t a single thing in my original comment to suggest that I’m biphobic, so stick to the topic and stop jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Frankly, you are no better heterosexists. It’s just as foolish and arrogant of you to think of everyone as bisexual as it is of them to think of everyone as heterosexual. I suggest you pay more attention to reality and focus less on what you “prefer to think that everyone is.”

Dear Neverspeak,

My perceptions are my reality. And your perceptions are your reality.

The notion that everyone is potentially bisexual may not be entirely true. However it is much closer to the truth than the notion that everyone is either heterosexual or homosexual. That notion is patently, and axiomatically not true. And completely and utterly ridiculous in very way.

In case you haven’t noticed already, bisexual people have a notable tendency to posit the notion that everyone is really bisexual. This is our defensive reaction to being told that we do not really exist and that we are indecisive and confused and that we should chose to be either gay or straight. When someone tells me to make such a choice, which happens not infrequently, it strongly suggests to me that they may have made some such choice themselves. Why else would they imagine it is possible for me to chose not to be bi?

Your original comment didn’t tell me you are biphobic. It did however tell me enough to suspect that you probably do not identify as bisexual. And your responses to my original comment makes me almost certain that you don’t identify as bisexual :)

Please note that I did not actually call you a biphobic moron. However you most definitely did call John a heterosexist moron. And in my opinion that was not justifiable reaction to his questions. It would have been justifiable if he had said ” aren’t lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them.” But he didn’t actually say that did he?

It is often far from easy to differentiate between bisexual women and lesbians. Not just for men, but for bisexual women and lesbians as well.

September 24, 2008 at 2:51 pm
(23) L.C. says:

Johan Lont (12) – I’ve been trying to understand what women see in men for years. Probably because I’ve never felt that. I don’t understand the connection to men some women have, physically, sexually, or emotionally. 90% of my friends are female, whether they’re straight/lesbian/bi because I feel more connected to and understood by women. It’s not just about the sex – though that’s a great part – it’s about the connection I feel to women that I’ve never felt for men.

I’m also tired – like most of these women – of straight men asking, “Why are you a lesbian? Maybe you just haven’t met the RIGHT man.” If these men are really “straight”, they wouldn’t ask these questions, but rather they would ask THEMSELVES why THEY like women. Why are straight men straight? Have they not met the “right man” do they “hate men”? Why are straight women straight? Have they just not met the “right women” do they “hate women”? Why are gay men gay? Have they not met the “right women” or do they “hate women”? See how that’s not really logical thinking? People are lesbian/gay/straight/bisexual because that’s the way they ARE. It has nothing to do with “hating” a certain gender, it has to do with your NATURAL feelings.

September 24, 2008 at 3:52 pm
(24) Neverspeak says:

Dear Geri,

There isn’t a single thing in my original comment to suggest that i am not bisexual. There is no information whatsoever about my sexual orientation. Please stop jumping to conclusions.

“The notion that everyone is potentially bisexual may not be entirely true. However it is much closer to the truth than the notion that everyone is either heterosexual or homosexual. That notion is patently, and axiomatically not true. And completely and utterly ridiculous in very way.”

Might I suggest that it may not be true AT ALL? Also, you’re switching gears, here. First you posted about everyone being bisexual “deep down.” That is different from being “potentially” bisexual. Whether or not either is closer to the truth than something else is irrelevant. How about you stop dodging the issue and admit that your belief is unfounded?

“It would have been justifiable if he had said Ē arenít lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them.Ē But he didnít actually say that did he?”

Yes, he did say this. Look back at the letter posted. Here’s the quote:

“What I have never quite understood is, are lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them…

“I didnít say negative experience with men can turn a straight woman into a lesbian.”

No, you suggested that bad experiences with men can play a factor in why some women are lesbians. I understand if you didn’t mean it that way, but I’m sure you can see that as an understandable interpretation when you place one concept right after the other this way:

“There can be more than one reason why a woman is lesbian. And negative experiences can be a factor.”

September 24, 2008 at 7:35 pm
(25) Geri says:

Dear Neverspeak,

I didn’t say you weren’t bisexual.

I said your comments make me almost certain that you donít identify as bisexual.

Huge difference.

And you don’t identify as bisexual. Do you?

You’re also quoting John out of context by cutting his question short. In order, it seems to me, to justify calling him a heterosexist moron.

“What I have never quite understood is, are lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them or is it hormonal, they just are drawn to other women?”

That was his complete question. I do understand why you were really annoyed by the first part of it. But if that had been all he’d asked I doubt Kathy would have bothered replying to him.

You can suggest to me that my perception of human sexuality isn’t true at all. Of course you can. However as my perception offers a simple explanation as to why lesbian and gay identified people sometimes fall in love with members of the opposite sex and straight identified people sometimes fall in love with members of their own sex, I’m going to stick to it. Unless that is you can offer me a better explanation as to why this sometimes happens.

And just telling me I’m wrong is no explanation at all. So please don’t bother if that’s all you can come up with.

The expression “deep down” in the way I used it is meant to indicate something deep down inside – as in usually hidden, kept concealed. Therefore it refers to something that has the potential to reveal itself but in most cases remains concealed. So the phrases, “everyone’s bisexual deep down” & “everyone’s potentially bisexual” do mean essentially the same thing – as I see it.

September 27, 2008 at 2:15 am
(26) Neverspeak says:

Geri,

I know you didn’t say I wasn’t bisexual, the point is that there is absolutely nothing to suggest that I’m not, so you shouldn’t be “almost certain” that I’m not, and, based on these posts alone, you have no reason whatsoever to even suspect it. Is that clear? Also, why do you keep asking me if I identify bisexual? It’s irrelevant.

First of all, the only reason I quoted the letter at all was to show you a part of it that you did not realize was there; it was therefore unnecessary to quote John’s entire question.

Furthermore, why does it matter that I did not explicitly consider more of the content of John’s letter? Is the ludicrous implication that it’s possible for women to be lesbians because of bad experiences with men somehow ok or not as bad if I take the whole question into consideration? Whether you look at this part of John’s question or the whole thing, there’s still a problem.

Your perceptions don’t even enter into this discussion. By assuming that EVERYONE is potentially bisexual, you have already proved that your position is untenable, as it’s impossible for you to perceive things about EVERY person on Earth because you will never have sufficient knowledge of or contact with more than a small fraction of human beings. Therefore, your idea is not a perception per se; it’s not even a valid extrapolation. It is an unfounded assumption, pure and simple. It is also clearly presumptuous because you are choosing, with no apparent justification, to ignore the fact that many, many people who know themselves far better than you know them do not consider themselves bisexual. In other words, it should be obvious why you’re wrong.

There are a million reasons why people’s romantic and sexual behaviors may not match up with their stated identities or previously stated identities; do you really have so little imagination as to need my input? Some people don’t know themselves well. Some people lie. Some people even think the words “gay” and “lesbian” are inclusive of bisexuality, which can create misunderstandings.

Even if I couldn’t offer you a single alternate explanation, I hope you understand at this point that it is foolhardy to come to a conclusion about all of humanity based on the handful of people you have had personal experience with. As you had posted earlier, you ought not try to simplify the complex.

September 27, 2008 at 4:26 am
(27) Geri says:

You still don’t get it Neverspeak.

I didn’t say I’m almost certain you’re not bisexual. I said I’m almost certain you don’t identify as bisexual.

It should be obvious by now that I am of the opinion that the majority of bisexual people don’t identify as bisexual.

Identifying as bisexual is often more about how a person thinks and the principles they hold true than what they actually do.

I feel that simplifying the complex is justifiable if you are doing it an honest attempt to engender more tolerance and simple acceptance of others, and how they are, in this world.

Love & Peace sista.

November 26, 2008 at 5:18 pm
(28) Neverspeak says:

Geri,

No, you still don’t get it. You are not justified in being almost certain that I do not identify as bisexual. The slight confusion in wording changes nothing; you still do not know enough about me for this idea of yours to be legitimate. Why can’t you understand the simple concept that, whatever you are basing this idea on, it exists purely in your own head (as no basis for it exists in anything I have posted), and it is therefore blind and foolish for you to seriously entertain the possibility that it may be true?

It is not obvious that you are not of the opinion that most bisexual people don’t identify as bisexual. You have not stated or implied any such thing; if you did, you would be making an unfounded assumption once again. I’m positive that you know the sexuality and identity preference of only a small percentage of bisexuals.

You are wrong to think that noble intentions justify simplifying the complex; noble intentions justify little, if anything. Awful things have been done with noble intentions.

April 21, 2009 at 9:04 pm
(29) Jerry says:

I am a straight Male, My best freind is a lesbian that I respect and would never attempt to change.But most lesbians have a chip on their shoulder about men because they always feel that their in competition with men. So they come off as hating men and using words like homophobe! I am in noway scared or intemidated by their lifestyle.But a female trying to act butch or a man acting like a female is stupid! Why cant you just act like a normal women or a normal man that is gay? Are you afraid that you have to act and dress like a man because thats what your partner is attracted too? Hell! if your a women and your attracted to a women ,ACT LIKE WOMEN!

June 25, 2009 at 9:13 am
(30) tari says:

Ok I’m a 16 year old black male I am now with a bi women I love her I don’t have a problem with her being part lesbian I have to admit that I thought about changing her completely straight but I talked to her and she said she loves me but she will remain bi I have been with a straight women who turned lesbian when we were in a relationship yeah I cried a lot and. Still do when I go with a bi girl because I think it will happen to me again but now I’m really good friends with my ex girlfriend now because I understand her decision and that she always wanted to be lesbian she just couldn’t tell me because she knew I would be heart broken I know that I can’t change her so I happy for her and when I get old enough I going to vote to get the gay and lesbian law passed so you can marry and be happy just like straight people.

August 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
(31) franko says:

very good question. as a straight man, i cannot figure it out either. i go out to the clubs a lot on the weekends hoping to meet straight women. they seem to treat us men badly. i want to meet a good woman so i can have a wonderful relationship with, but it seem hopeless. i was married twice, and was a very good husband at the time. when i see other married couples together, it hurts me a lot because i always wanted to have a family of my own. now that i am in my mid fifties it is very hard to meet the right one. sometimes i think god is punishing for a reason that i do not know. i even cry, that is how much this bothers me. where are the best places to go to meet decent women today for a lot of us good men that are really trying? if i met the right woman for me it would be like winning the lottery.

September 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm
(32) so very true says:

the problem today for us good straight men that want to meet good straight women, seems very difficult for us. we have so much more lesbians than we ever had. these women must have had a very abusive relationship years ago by the men that they were with at one time. and now they hate men, and want to be with other women instead. these women to me are just dirty no good pigs, and need a lot of professional help. they are pretty much to blame why us men cannot meet good women now. as a straight man, i was married twice and was a very caring and loving husband that never cheated on them. they did cheat on me, and i was very committed in my marriage as well. now when i go out i seem to meet the nasty ones instead of the good ones. there is just too many garbage women out there now. if i had met the right woman for me, i would not have to go out every night anymore. since i have no one to stay home to, that is why i go out. i hope for me to be at the right place at the right time to meet a good woman someday.

February 19, 2014 at 8:51 pm
(33) get a girlfriend says:

Hi there! This article could not be written much better!

Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
He continually kept talking about this. I
will send this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read.
I appreciate you for sharing!

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