Should You Date Your Best Friend?
From the Lesbian Life Forum
My dear friend April and I have been going back and forth about a few things. We are best friends but still find ourselves wanting more. We then realize we don't see long term therefore a break up is almost guaranteed. We could potentially ruin our friendship.April has been there for me through so much this past semester. She truly is my best friend. I'll never meet a girl like her. I spend more time with her than anyone else. We have classes together. We worked it out to graduate from Tech together and hopefully go to medical school together. We're renting a house together next fall with two other people. We've done just about everything together... anywhere from breaking the law together to just being together talking about nothing important but still meaning everything to us.
Even though every time we get close to dating we decide it's not a good idea because we love and respect our friendship too much. And then she'll say things like we are soul mates and one day will end up together even if that isn't right now.
So, do you date your best friend? Is it worth the risk of losing a friend?
Comments
If you do date, do not go into it already believing that you are not going to last because some one is going to get hurt. And if you know it is not going to last and you do not want to hurt your friendship you both had better be mature enough to handle the break. I say this because my good friend and I went over and over how we should not date but if we did we would not let it hurt our friendship if we broke up. Well we lived together for two years and dated for three almost four and we broke up and we no longer have a friendship – I was not the mature one. I was angry and hurt and I lost a very good friend. If you do this go in with knowing that you are soulmates and your love and friendship can stand any test that will come your way and that it is going to last forever and I hope it does.
I had to take a deep sigh before I started responding to this post. I’m mad crazy about my best female friend (Renee), but I have this rule: friends are off-limits! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
But man . . . I really, really, really wanna get on her, ya know?
We have a lot in common. We enjoy the same music. We have the same sick sense of humor. We like the same movies. We’re both Karaoke dorks! We both love, love, love to dance. I like our differences too. I’m 36, she’s, well, she’s young. We’re different races. She’s a spoiled little rich girl trying desperately not to be!
There was this one time when she came over at 2am to talk (just talk) and we ended up giving each other backrubs. I learned just how much restraint I can muster up when all I wanna do is break every rule I have.
I’m rambling. I’m sorry.
I can’t ever see myself having a romantic relationship with Renee. Another friend said if you can’t date your best friend, then who can you date? It just seems . . . weird. Maybe the fact that she’s off-limits is what makes her so appealing?
Well there are alot of people that think that dating your bestfriend is the worst idea that you could have. The thing is there is a 50/50 chance that it is a horrible idea or that it could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
My bestfriend (other than my amazing partner) is quite a bit older than i am, but we met when i was 11 and we’ve been friends since. Seventeen years later we still tell each other everything.
I have always known that i was a lesbian, however grew up in an old fashioned community in which my whole family would have been mocked and disgraced. So for a majority of my life i kept it hid. I even married when i was 18 to stop people from talking and ruining my family’s good name. That was torture, not being able to be out and open and just be myself.
Anyway, my friend, although i never told her, always knew. At least that’s what she finally told me when i did finally come out. The night that i finally said it out loud for the first time i had dreamed about her. I immediatly called her to tell her about this dream. She lived 3 states away at the time and all she could say was that she would be at my house in a couple of days.
When she got there and we had time to sit down and talk she told me that she was bi. It kind of suprised me. I had spent so long hiding it that i hadn’t paid attention to my surroundings. At this point i had never been with a woman and was very much intrigued at the thought of finally being myself. After sitting in bed and talking for hours, we both came to the conclusion that we were attracted to each other and that we were both mature enough to deal with the circumstances and possible outcome.
We kept a romantic realationship for a while but then decided that maybe it would be better if we just stayed friends, someone that we could talk to and tell everything to. We are to much alike to keep trying the impossible.
We have been bestfriends for 17 years now. And i still tell her every little problem i have and give her a shoulder to lean or cry on when she needs it. But because of her and the talks we had and the experiences i had with her i am very confident in myself. And i am very open and OUT!
The best advice she gave me was to be open with my family. I was and they accepted the facts and still love me for who i am. And it gave my sister the courage to come out as well. We had hiden it from each other as well. Funny thing, life! You never know what will come of it unless you give it a try.
I will say this…. If your bestfriend is really your bestfriend, then they will always be no matter what. As they say… If someone is in your past, they are just that and there is a reason they are not part of your future!
I say don’t ruin your friendship
My best friend is my solemate. I couldnt imagine it any other way. We talk about everything and have lots of fun together. We work through the tough times and come out stronger because of it. We got invovled 7 months ago and love each other very much. We had known each other for over a year before we hooked up. If you feel you are willing to work on a relationship then go for it. It may be the best thing you ever did.
I had a male bestfriend and a female bestfriend. We where like the 3 musketeers, It was a bestfriend triangle. Until they started going out with eachother. They where an item for about 4 months. The relationship was a disaster, they broke up. Now im no longer friends with my old male friend. But yet im even closer to my female bestfriend. We have the world in common and we get along so well. I like her and I think she likes me too. But im faced with this double standard. (NEVER DATE YOUR BESTFRIEND), and (NEVER DATE YOUR FRIEND’S EX). . . .But I love her I dont know what to do.
i have a best friend that likes me and i like her but before we go out we are making sure we are compatable. we dont wnna risk our friendship so we agreed to still be friends if it dosent work out.
i’m hoping to start dating my best friend in 2yrs after she gets done with college me and her have been best friends for about 4 or 5yrs now and this is just the next step for us if it works out but we both said if it didn’t work out that we would remain best friends.
DONT DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND. trust me. If u have feelings for them , Just think that would u rather give it a shot , break up and ruin a friendship.. or would you rather have that friend for a longgg time. trust me . i asked out my best friend cuz we both liked each other , for some strange reason he said no , and now he hates me. So DONT DO IT