1. People & Relationships

Discuss in my forum

I am 23 and very attracted to older women. I have been attracted to women older than me since I was 14. The women I am interested in are between 20 and 35 years older than myself. It had been practically impossible to find any research at all that indicates that this type of love exists outside of my imagination. Do they exist and can they last?
Lesbian Cub
Dear Cub,
Yes age differences happen and yes they can work. Like any relationship, there will be challenges, but that does not mean they can't be overcome. Heck, if you think about it, two of our most famous lesbian couples have significant age differences: Ellen & Portia and Tammy & Melissa Etheridge. So, can they work? Yes! Learn more about successful lesbian relationships when age difference is a factor.
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Comments
January 19, 2009 at 10:25 pm
(1) Terry says:

Is the young Woman that is attracted to older Women in a relationship or seriously dating? Im 46. I live in St. Pete.

Thank you!

January 22, 2009 at 11:07 am
(2) Ladydi says:

I believe age is just a number. Is the maturity that counts. I am 53yrs and my lover is 46yrs and we have a wonderful relationship for the past 4yrs. It is what you feel in your heart about that person that counts not how young or old they are.

January 22, 2009 at 12:02 pm
(3) Janice says:

I’m 18 yrs older than my partner. The age is not a problem; in fact, it’s a plus!!

January 22, 2009 at 1:43 pm
(4) Jay Lord says:

I am 56 and my partner is 33, we are in a very happy and committed relationship, age to us is just a number……live life to the full and focus on the love between you , when you love each other at this deep level everything else pales to insignificance…

January 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm
(5) LJ says:

Reading comments about committed and happy relationships gives me hope. I’m sixteen and my biggest fear is that I will never find someone. Now I know I’m young and I’m probably not following the most logical train of thought, but I feel so alone in this world.

January 22, 2009 at 6:06 pm
(6) luisa says:

But why if I’m 18 and she is 56? Does that look impossible it did bring alot of probs. we are seperated but i love her oh so much and i would say age does not matter.

January 22, 2009 at 6:22 pm
(7) Kristy says:

I am 28 and my life partner is 20. When we first started dating we were 27 and 19. I was really worried about our age at first because I was shocked that I was attracted to someone younger, and because I was worried that she would think that I was too old for her. On our first date I asked her if the age difference bothered her, I had asked on the phone already and she had said no but I wanted to see her face and ask again. She said no, and I was over it by then. Age has never been a difference for us, we have so much in common and enjoy each other so much that we never even notice the age difference. In fact it feels like we are at the same age and on the same level in everything that we do. I am just glad that I look really young for my age!!

January 24, 2009 at 10:32 am
(8) veggiegirl says:

My last reltionship was with a woman 17 years my senior. I was 29 and she was 46. Neither of us noticed a difference because we had so much in common. The only time I ever thought of it was when other people mentioned it. We truely loved each other, we both have since moved on but still remain quite close. She is an amazing woman and our relationship was full and wonderful. Don’t worry about age, Meet woman as if you are just making friends, If something sparks and it’s mutual, then go for it. If you look too hard then you will not see what could be right in front of your face. Age is only the number of times you have ridden the earth around the sun and nothing more.

Good luck Sweetie.

January 31, 2009 at 6:10 pm
(9) Lesbian says:

I’m 26 and my gf is 46. Sex is awesome.

February 4, 2009 at 3:15 pm
(10) alisha says:

I’m 31 and my girlfriend is 53. It is the best sex I have ever had!

February 15, 2009 at 6:16 pm
(11) Caroline says:

I have been struggling with the same desire as you Cub. I am 26 and attracted to women in their 40′s/50′s. I have had these feelings since I was very young but did not understand them. I am exploring them at the moment with my therapist. I have not seen any research out there about this either but have only just started looking. I would love to hear from an older woman interested in a relationship with a younger woman like me. So here’s hoping.

Caroline

February 24, 2009 at 6:52 pm
(12) Star77 says:

i fel better now i am 31 and just met a girl who is 54 and was freaking abotu what others would say..like my mom..b/c she s 59…does anyone have any exprtiences with how mom’s react when the gf is close to their age? thanks

March 19, 2009 at 2:49 pm
(13) jntc126 says:

I’m 23 and my partner just turned 44. We’ve been together for 4 years now. When we met I had no idea she was so much older (she only looked 25 even though she was 39). I was already really into her when I found out and although we both said it didn’t matter, we have faced challenges along the way. The most important thing always has to be communication. Talk about your fears: in my case losing her and being alone later in life and in her case me not being attracted to her later on down the road. You can’t go wrong if you keep the communication strong. Even if it ends up not working out at least you’ll always be able to stay friends…

March 28, 2009 at 11:12 pm
(14) ZA says:

Hello..i was wondering..does a lesbian in her mid fifties..55 still desire sex? i am 31 and am after a 55 yr old but she seems to talk a bit negative about sex..like”oh I’m not into that..?’
i don t want to get involved then be sexless? i think she just was with all the wrong people and is afraid personally

April 15, 2009 at 5:01 pm
(15) Britney says:

I’m 10 and a lesbian and already had sex with another lesbian in my class we havn’t told anybody some of you might think this is weird but I guess it’s better to know at early age then but actually I think I’m bysexual cue I like a guy in my class but I also like a girl but nobody except that girl knows that I’m pretty much a lesbian so that’s my story I guess

May 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm
(16) Jess says:

Hi, I’m new to this though I’ve been getting the newsletter for a while…I just had to get on today to see or start a discussion about age and dating. I’m 21 and I’ve been finding myself attracted to older women, well, it started at a very young age. My first realization was when I had a crush on my 2nd grade teacher, I was about 8 or 9…Since, I’ve was in a relationship w/a woman who was 29, I was 20. Now, I’m STRONGLY attracted to a 35 yr old who looks 25. She has a daughter my age…so, it is weird for her. Help?

May 14, 2009 at 3:30 pm
(17) Jess says:

I just wrote the above comment, and now I’m 21, she’s 35…the chemistry was AMAZING and we have great communication. We’ve talked everyday since we recently met. I really want to ask her on a date, but should I? The chemistry between us is NOT that of mother and daughter…

May 14, 2009 at 3:32 pm
(18) Jess says:

Ok, I just wrote the above comment. I’m 21 now and the woman’s 35. The chemistry’s definitely there! …and it is NOT that of mother and daughter. I want to ask her on a date, but I don’t want her to feel as if she’s having lunch or dinner with her daughter.

May 18, 2009 at 3:16 am
(19) clearrrivers says:

ofcourse it exists!if you ask me, i prefer lovers that are much older than me because they tend to be more mature and caring and stable, emotionally.

June 1, 2009 at 4:04 pm
(20) jenna says:

I’m 19 about to be turning 20 in july, i’v been talking to this lady who is 44, we have awesome chemistry..i feel like im sick and wired because i dont have my shit together yet, and here iam in love with a 44 year old..our connection is very strong we have been talking for a mouth now..and the words i love u have happened already…is it possible to have a relationship with someone that is a couple years older than my mom? is there something wrong with me or her?

June 12, 2009 at 1:42 pm
(21) kim jan-di says:

im 23 and my partner is turning 42. we are together now for more tahan 2yrs. i have been attraced to her since i was still 14ys. i first found out that i was gay when i got a crush on my third grade teacher, my partner now is also my former teacher. we are hiding our relationship because of our moral beliefs. but we keep our love and it gets stronger day by day.though we are in a very complicated situation we see to it that we protect each other. we are so happy with what we have rightnow.

July 4, 2009 at 9:16 pm
(22) Linda says:

It’s great to read about so many relationships with a large age difference.
I am 27 and in love with a 48 year old woman. I have always been attracted to older women, but not that much older until now. When we first met I told her that the age difference was too big to start a relationship, but I keep longing to be with her. I know what is holding me back is the fear of what other people would think, especially my family. And it makes me feel bad because I think she deserves to be with someone that would be proud to be with her. So I’m trying to let go, but I can’t stop thinking about her. No matter what I do, it just gets wrong. I miss her deeply, but it’s not right to get involved when I can’t deal with my shame.

July 14, 2009 at 3:36 am
(23) Naundi says:

hi, my name is naundi and i know this will be kinda shocking but im 13 almost 14 in jan.11 but ive been dating 17 and 15 year olds and now i go wit a 12 year old sometimes i think i have a problem i need help and advice. My first question is even tho im 13 i need to know is it for me to go with 17 or 15 year olds help plzzzz and thank u.ummm for adive dont care of ur age i need some advice.

July 23, 2009 at 3:04 am
(24) gracie... says:

im 14 and im pretty sure im into girls but im still a virgin and really want to have sex but i cant cause i really dont want to like girls i just want to see if i like girls by haveing sex but i know no lesbians…..plzz help!

September 7, 2009 at 3:49 am
(25) Moonstar says:

I’ll be 21 next week and my girlfriend just turned 29 last week. We have been living together for 14 months now. At times I can be a bit childish but thats just my personality but she understands me (sometimes) but we cool. We have our ups and downs like any other couple but at da end of the day we don’t go to bed mad at each other. We have two kids and we live our life like any other family. Gay love is da best love (when da kids go to bed).

October 5, 2009 at 12:32 am
(26) Brittany says:

I am 22 and am seeing a 45 year old. Although we haven’t been dating long, I got it bad for her. I have never felt such intense emotions for someone. I’ll admit, I am scared to get hurt, but I… Love her.

My mom is 49 so I’m scared what she’ll say once it’s public, but I definitely say it’s possible. Follow your hearts ladies. True beauty lies within. As long as you’re happy (and it’s legal) that’s all that matters. :)

To you cubs out there– we all have been where you are in life. Stay strong. Only you can be you!

October 26, 2009 at 7:42 pm
(27) jessi says:

I’m 17, and i fell for a 14 year old…
I’ve been persecuted about it for the last 10 months or so… my own mother said it was “sick and wrong”, and my girlfriends mother chased me onto a busy road at night threatening to kill me if i didn’t stay away…
i mean i really love her, but no one beleives that i havn’t broken the law (in england)…
I’ve had people saying they’d stab me and set me on fire, I’ve had abuse thats ranged from msn, myspace and facebook, to people shouting horrible things at me in the street…
one person even said that if i was 18 they’d have put me through a window, or “decked”(beat me up) me, and they were in their 40′s…
i have no idea what i should do =’[
please help, ’cause i really love her

October 30, 2009 at 12:40 am
(28) Cely's Wife says:

Im 19 and the love of my life is 30 and we’ve been together for 15 months. Not only is this my longest relationship but shes the first girl Ive been with.Age is not a problem for me at all but being as though Im the young person in the relatonship Im steady get accused of cheating because she supposedly knows what goes on in young girls minds because she was my age before. But Im not that kinda girl, i love her so much and i will never ever cheat. HELP!

October 30, 2009 at 12:44 am
(29) GGBS says:

I am 46 and my partner is 34. We have been together 5 years. I don’t think age matters but there are times when I am aware that I have been through things that she has not yet gone through. I think there are times when she wishes she had had more experiences before she became committed to me. I feel the same – she is the first woman I have had a relationship with. But I must say that depending on the people, it can work. As another poster said, I have my worries about whether she will be attracted to me when I am in my 70s and she has just reached her 60s. But I am healthy and stay fit – run and weight lift. I think that will make a difference. Hope so!

November 15, 2009 at 3:59 pm
(30) 4418 says:

i’m 18 and my partner is 45. i’ve also been told that i have an “old soul”/act older than i actually am. never felt so strongly for anyone! she is the best and i am committed to a very long journey with her! we’ve been seeing each other for almost 10 months! chemistry has never been like this before!! sex is… miraculous! lol i love her so much and wouldn’t change the circumstances for a thing. forget what people have to say… you have to be true to your heart and happiness!

November 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm
(31) Shamrock says:

I am 25 and have been dating a 36 year old for the past 4 years. The age was never a big deal, that is until I felt like I was exceeding her in life….College degrees, money, emotional stability. We broke it off and now I’m dating a 44 year old. I’ve always been hot for older women, but this one has turned something on in me that hasn’t be activated yet. Even with my first love, who I still consider the love of my life. I’m excited to explore my time with her, as she is the sexiest woman I’ve seen in a long time! Have fun, live your life and enjoy the heat :-)

November 18, 2009 at 5:50 pm
(32) jamie says:

I’m 29 and have been seeing a 47 year old for a few months now – it’s still early days, and we’re not ‘out’ to many people, just a few close friends and family but everyone who’s been told is amazing about it – it’s so refreshing being with someone who can communicate and articulate; we are deeply connected. I love her perspective and we spend a lot of time laughing and enjoying life. I am unsure what the future holds since there are many factors — she’s also mother of 5 kids, has lived a pretty ‘straight’ life (I’m the first woman she’s actually been with, despite being a self proclaimed bisexual) and is very independent. She’s also a different class to me (upper) and puts her family / spirituality first — I only hope that she continues to care for me since I think she’s the best thing to come into my life in a very long while. ;)

November 19, 2009 at 2:02 pm
(33) ShortCake0228 says:

Jessi (post 27 – Oct. 26), if you really do love her and she feels the same for you, you should wait until she’s 17 to begin your relationship as a couple.

November 20, 2009 at 8:14 am
(34) anne bifocal says:

Age doesnt matter… im 29 yo and im into women 15-20 older than me… for me, the relationship is much sweeter, more passionate and meaningful compared with the one i had with someone of the same age as me…what matters most is the love you feel for each other… and the care and respect you show for each other…

November 23, 2009 at 10:02 pm
(35) TR says:

My partner and I have been together for 10 yrs and she is 25 years older than I am. so yes is does happen and it does work.

November 24, 2009 at 12:36 am
(36) C says:

I’m 23 and my partner is 65. We’ve been together for almost two years and I’ve never been happier. To each her own.

December 14, 2009 at 8:08 am
(37) diamond says:

I am 45 years old and falling in love with a 33 woman. I am scared to express this feeling. I just watch her day to day… and wishing there is an opportunity to express my feeling.

December 21, 2009 at 6:07 pm
(38) DearAggie says:

I’m 18 and am not only physically attracted to a 49 year old woman, but we have such a special bond that I am emotionally attracted to her as well. I know everything about her, and every time I learn something new it just makes me love her even more. I guess you would say we already have a relationship, so to speak, just without the sex. I’m eventually going to work up the gull and pursue and sexual relationship with her, and you know, I think she will be skeptical about the idea at first, but then eventually agree to it. We both love each other, we tell each other all the time. So again, you could say we have a sexless relationship as of right now… and again, I am only 18 and she is 49.
I don’t think age should matter.
We fight for rights saying “love is love no matter what sex”… what about ” love is love no matter what age”

January 1, 2010 at 7:18 pm
(39) Suzanne says:

I am 48 and she is 29, I feel like a kid around her. She says she is an Old Soul but I do have issues on the age, I do love her. So the battle of heart and age goes on.

January 14, 2010 at 12:45 pm
(40) Cherry Blossom says:

I’m 28 in love with a wonderful woman of 49. I love her to pieces…we are now dating I hope to marry her someday.

January 16, 2010 at 2:14 pm
(41) Aleshamia says:

I think that I’m a lesbian but I’m 12 years old so havnt had sex yet but want to soon. I’m physically and sexually attracted to women of all ages and took a test to see if I was ready to start sexual relationships and it said yes but I don’t know any lesbians! Help me!

January 16, 2010 at 8:39 pm
(42) Elizabeth says:

Great to see all the positive comments. My first love was 25 years younger than me… never mattered to us… until she decided she needed some time apart to grow up a little. Waiting, kinda, for her to come home. However, I am recognizing I have a huge attraction to younger women. As has been stated previously, the younger woman brings a lot of life and youth to the relationship. I pass for being in my 20′s even though I’m 44 and I live life to it’s fullest!! And I bring a life time of growing up, learning patience, understanding, and wisdom to the relationship. It seems to be a good balance. Glad to see it working for so many couples.

January 20, 2010 at 3:40 pm
(43) Rebecca says:

I’ve been with two women 30 years older than myself. The woman I would love to spend the rest of my life with is 59 and I’m 28. We’ve had an intense 8 year history as friends with the occasional extra, but she’s fearful of how society would view our relationship. Most of our family and friends know about it and approve, but the deal breaker is that she has two children older than myself that don’t know about us. I have never seen age, but she does and feels her children will. I do think it’s wonderful that we’re able to find a bit of support in knowing that we’re not alone or “weird” as some would call it with venues such as this.

January 21, 2010 at 1:21 pm
(44) JB says:

I AM 48 AND WHITE, AND MY LOVER IS 62 AND BLACK. WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ALMOST 9 MONTHS AND I’M NOTICING THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENCES IN OUR AGE, NOT OUR CULTURE.SHE LISTENS AND WATCHES OLDER TV SHOWS AND OLDER MUSIC THAT I’VE NEVER HEARD OF. WE SEEM TO BE DOING FINE, BUT DON’T “SEE” THIS AS A LIFE PARTNER FOR ME. I AM HER FIRST LOVER AS SHE JUST CAME OUT AT THE AGE OF 62. FOR YOU LESBIANS OUT THERE THAT HAVE BEEN GAY MOST OF YOUR LIFE, IMAGINE COMING OUT AT AGE 62…
THE SEX IS AWESOME AND FOR THE MOST PART, ITS ALL GOOD!!!!

February 25, 2010 at 1:41 am
(45) Terri says:

I seriously thought, I was the only one experiencing this. I have been broken up almost 6 months mind you, we were together for 4 years and now Im 25 and she is 22. Now I have this urge to be with an older woman, and the thing is that I feel them looking at me more. When I was younger I always that attraction to older woman, and than it went away and now its back on full force. I dated a 29 year old, but that didnt go too well. I need someone a bit older than that lol. Well its good to know that there are more of you girls going through the same or somewhat the same feelings. What is it about the older woman that fanstasizes us?

May 14, 2010 at 11:58 pm
(46) Bridgette says:

My relationship I am in right now has became successful. I say this because at first it was a long distance relationship, i meet her online on myspace on a fansite. I thank her for adding me and suddenly continue to speak to her to get to know her. We Immediately made a connection and our interest for eachother grew profoundly. At first I learned that she lied she was only 13yrs old, but months ago I learned she had lied about her age because she was afraid of rejection. she turn out to be one yr younger than what she was..which i thought to myself its crazy because at the time i met her i was 18. my first impression was idk if this would b wise because of my concern with age difference and legal concerns which i found important to remember knowing my age right? we try feeling close through internet and on the phone everyday i would make sure i heard her voice. She surprisingly ask me out over the phone, and I was not sure of an answer…but on November 14, 2008 thats when my reply was YES! we had a distant relationship for about a yr n then finally over the summer of 2009 I met her and she turned out to be exactly what i imagine and shes everything i look for in a person we are now together its been 1yr n 6months today =D So far i believe it exist

May 15, 2010 at 12:00 am
(47) Bridgette says:

MY gf is 14 and I am 20 we are still together its been 1yr and 6months I do believe our love is REAL

May 20, 2010 at 9:48 pm
(48) melody says:

i know just what all you LADIES ARE TALKING about!! there is just something about women when they are in thr 4o’s/50′s/60′s! i mean just think about.. nicole kidman!! claudia christian!! amanda burton!! simone lahabib!! jodie foster!! elizabeth mitchell! gemma redgrave!! kate mulgrew!! meryls streep!! i was really ill in my early 20′s when i first began to notice the beautiful older woman.. i mean they just get more beautiful, sassy and sexy as time goes on.. i mean look at amanda burton, simone lahabib, jodie foster, kate mulgrew and esp meryl steep!! i mean she is almost 60 but she has never lokked more radient or sexy in or out of character (mm.. miranda!)

as for my first love and only love.. i was 24 and she was 43. it worked. we kind of balanced each other! i think that a person 10-15-20-25 yrs older than ourselves and so together is attractive! Sammy is definatly all that and more!

so listen to your heart and you wont go far wrong! :o ) m. xx

May 22, 2010 at 9:42 pm
(49) speechless says:

i have read through all the comments, however all i see is younger partners’ perspectives. im 17 and im interested in someone who is 10 yo older than me. i want to know from her opinion about our relationship. we never come out as lesbian but we both notice wat we want. she always said she will neva date someone younger than her and now im so confuse. can i have some advices please.

May 29, 2010 at 12:13 am
(50) I Need Help. says:

When my younger sister was 16 she started to have a relationship with a 28 year old woman. I feel guilty all the time for disliking the woman who makes me sister happy, but I cannot get past this age difference. The age difference is very hard for me to accept. How can I learn to accept this?

May 29, 2010 at 11:48 pm
(51) Charlie says:

I am almost 54 and involved with a woman who is 30. It is a long distance relationship between Texas and Florida in which we see each other about every two months. My girl has just completed her PHd and I am strictly blue collar so you would think aside from age there is a lot of disparity. In actuality, of the two relationships I’ve been in,(15 and 8 years respectively), this one has been the most satisfying to me. I find her witty, fun, sexy, and having a lot in common. I feel a lot of our success at dating (for two years plus now)is attributed to the fact that I treat her as an equal because I feel she is despite the age gap, we have a weekly checkup time to address issues we may have if any and we respect each other’s views on any subject. We both enjoy the dating process and have agreed there is no need to rush anything until if and when we both feel ready to make those changes in our arrangements. Most importantly, we communicate well and on a regular basis. Its the key to success you know. I have come to love her a great deal and feel if we ever did have a problem it would not be age related. Her being mature is a big part of the success as well because if she were not, I know it wouldnt work for me personally. So yes, these kinds of relationships can and do work, but honestly if you had told me five years ago I’d be having a relationship with someone who’s mother was my same age, I probably would have laughed you out of town. We never worry about what people think or say because we are living our lives and hopefully friends and family can appreciate that fact if they see we are happy with it…and if they cant, then it becomes their issue and not ours.
She keeps me young,
I give her some stability and we both give each other a lot of love and caring. For me it’s a kind of perfection.

June 12, 2010 at 12:35 am
(52) tree says:

What a wonderful little thread…

I am currently head over heals for a woman who is twenty years my senior (I am 30, she is 50). At first I just thought I adored her because she was a wonderful woman and then I realized that the feelings I had for her ran much deeper and that what I desired was to be with her physically.

I have never been with a woman before, and this is all new to me. I hope that one day soon I will finally find the courage to admit my feelings for her. I may be imagining it, but I believe she feels strongly and similarly towards me as well. I don’t care about the age difference and agree with the other posters that older women are incredibly sexy and their somewhat elusive nature is like a drug.

I do believe that she will have some issues with the age difference, but I think there is a profound give and take with finding the beauty in the younger and older. I think it is like going back and forward in time simultaneously experiencing the best parts of yourself in the past and future. Sounds strange… but if feels oddly cosmic and intense to me.

August 2, 2010 at 6:56 am
(53) elendil says:

im 28 and first fell for a woman 22 years my senior when i was 20. We have had a relationship of some sort for 8 years now- not without trouble from my family though. I got kicked out of home, not just for that but that was a big part of it. Moved to a bigger town where i didnt know anyone and tried to rebluid my life with help from my friend/partner while she stayed in the town i moved from because of family commitments. I have seen professionals who have said it is a mothering thing and dependancy due to childhood experience, that said and done i still cant help feeling what i feel for her-yes i do feel ashamed and slightly abnormal at times. I have since had a relationship with a man and really enjoyed spending time with him but when it came to sex i could never fully let go and felt alittle uncomfortable. I have since split with this guy and im entering a deep dark depression over life love and identity-any advice? (UK)

August 21, 2010 at 2:45 pm
(54) Nina says:

Im 14 i am bisexual i learned that i am bi when my best friend kissed me when i was 5…Idk how to tell my mom i tried once and she said u better not be and i said i was joking and now that i am dying (really want) to be with a girl i have no idea what to do…Help!

September 6, 2010 at 9:05 am
(55) tiff says:

I am 15 dateing a 26 year old women the word lesbain comes from the poet Sappho and she was a young girl lover. lol

October 18, 2010 at 4:04 am
(56) 23atheart says:

WOW!!! I am so impressed and so moved by all the comments on this blog. I am so thrilled that it it is so normal and wonderful for a huge age difference. I have never been attracted to an older woman. I don’t know why. I was always the super hot chick at the bar with all the looks and high energy.

Let us fast forward to age 45. I am still very good looking, and still act, like I am 23… full of life and so much fun!! however my inflated ego has dissipated and I have become a soft gentle person.

I realize NOW that I am the “older woman”…and it freaks me out, especially now that I met a 23yo that just rocks my world…as a friend and co-worker, with a major connection.

She knows I am gay and has no issues with that. As a matter of fact we spend ALL of our time together when we can.

I know she really digs me. I am so afraid of “age” rejection I don’t know what to do.

October 27, 2010 at 10:50 pm
(57) Aly3 says:

I just about died when I stumbled upon this thread. It was just what I needed. I am 23 years old and my girlfriend is 35. At first, I was worried about our age, what people would say, our families… she is the first girl I have been with and the same goes for her with me. We are not out to anyone yet.. the timing isn’t exactly right. Reading all of your stories has touched my heart and it’s so good to know that i’m not alone with this. I love my girl more than i’ll ever be able to explain and I hope to marry her someday. We have been together just over a year. I’ve come to realize that age is just a number, it doesn’t define us. A love so strong, so intense, so beautiful can’t be denied because of a number. I just hope my family will see it that way too.

December 9, 2010 at 9:38 pm
(58) mamez11 says:

I am 20 years old and in cosmetology school. I am infatuated with my instructor who is 26 years my senior. She has two daughters and is very settled in her life. I’m not sure if she is married, as I don’t know her very well, just physically and emotionally VERY attracted to her. I don’t know if she feels the same but she seems to drop hints that she does every once in awhile. I’m not sure what to do….I probably won’t do anything….I have a GIANT fear of rejection. any advice?

January 1, 2011 at 11:35 am
(59) simplylaura88@yahoo.com says:

im also glad i ran into this im 43 dateing a 22 year whom isnt out yet and lives in another state attending college, she did online school when we met and stayed with me and now has gone bck home to move in a dorm …she saids shell b back spring brk and im worried if this will work any advice out there I love her and would do anything for her.

January 1, 2011 at 1:38 pm
(60) Stephanie_TX says:

WOW!! I am so glad as well that I found this thread. I am 44 and I am finding myself attracted to women 10-15 yrs younger than I. At present, I have a 19 yr old interested in me. But it just doesnt feel right. So, yes I think age sometimes DOES matter. Thanks for having this website. I just loved reading the different stories.

January 4, 2011 at 10:37 pm
(61) Lola says:

I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 40. We’ve been going out for almost an year now but we split up more than once. We are totally different- she is a beautiful, sociable, funny, strong, narcisistic, imaginative, punk woman who has always lived to the full and enjoys drinking and taking drugs- which i wouldn’t mind but sometimes it worries me as she can be quite self-destructive. I’m introverted, like studing, have lot of self-control and I look like a girl, even younger than my age. We met in the pub where i used to work, me serving her drinks (she used to come in regularly) but we never really spoked before we started going out together as she assumed i was straight and i assumed she would never go out with somebody like me as i admired her and i was shy. When everything happened it was an incredible joyful surprise for both of us. I love her a lot and i find her attractive and tender and I think our relationship is beautiful. But problems come in social contexts, in front of people’s mirror: our difference become extreme as we behave in very different ways, i fear people could think i’m inadequate to her or i’m too feminine and the age gap intersects with that. This feeling gets stronger when she gets drunk and overexcited or overemotional in a way that just makes me disconnect a bit. I have a lot of respect for her and I don’t want to hurt her. I hope that with time this problems will get smaller.

January 6, 2011 at 1:01 am
(62) Rehvenge says:

My girlfriend and I are 13 years apart and are totally in love. I am more hung up on the age thing than her. I’m 34 and she is 21 and usually it doesn’t even come up, but occasionally i will be talking about a movie or something that happened before she was born or when she was really young. It’s all how you look at it.

January 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm
(63) Emilie Fredheim Knutsen says:

I feel really weird because I’m in love with someone who’s 38 and I’m only 18 …. I think that’s very different…

January 20, 2011 at 7:47 am
(64) gemini lesbian says:

My lesbian lover is 7years younger than me and I really lover her. im tryin 2 get sum insite on how to deal with something.

February 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm
(65) Erin says:

It amazes me to see those of you out there that are worried about a 10-15 year age gap. I am 27 and am married to my wife of 3 years, who just turned 60. For me, a 15 year age gap seems like such a small matter when my 33 years brings about all the stares and assumptions that we are mother and daughter. My wife is in fact 2 years older than mom. But age to us doesn’t matter. We are so much in love and have so much in common. My mom and wife have even hit it off and enjoy having conversations about the 60s. I know, it’s weird to me, too. We both have our fears about the future, but we try our best to live one day at a time, and cherish what we have together.

February 22, 2011 at 5:19 am
(66) nada says:

hi
im nada 21 f from KSA,,,
im an arab woman but i love lesbian more , i love with be westren woman older than 40 to makes relay love,,,

March 13, 2011 at 1:53 pm
(67) Olderwomaninlove says:

Well, I’m delighted to have found this thread as I am 59 and have been pursued by a 23 year old for almost a year. At first I didn’t take her seriously and tried to put her off but she persisted and now something has changed this week and I have fallen for her. I feel silly, to be honest and afraid and I don’t know what to do next but at least when I read the comments on this site I feel that it’s not totally out of the question to contemplate a relationship with such a massive age gap. Thanks for sharing, girls!

March 16, 2011 at 10:34 pm
(68) kit says:

hey,
any advice??

i can’t at all stop thinking about my boss, im 18 and she’s 40
theres the fact she’s my boss,
the age gap,
she has kids,
and the fact she’s taken (but is talking of splitting with her other half)

we have a lot in common, we tease eachother playfully, and have deep and meaningful conversations.

when we first met, after a couple of weeks of short talk and catching each others’ eyes she joked about me giving her number (although, she wasn’t actually joking!) instead she wrote down her number and gave it to me!
surely this was a sign she liked me!!

i proposed for us to go out for a drink, she accepted almost immediately and did not tell me of her other half (again i thought another hint as to her liking me!)

she has now to date asked me to go out for a drink with her… she has spoken of breaking it off with her girlfriend to me…. is this a sign that she wants to know if the feeling is mutual so she can break it off already????

surely she must feel attraction towards me???

for a change, i feel lost!!

March 19, 2011 at 10:35 am
(69) Shay Swaggtastic says:

Im a 22 yr old lesbian and im currently in a committed relationship with 15 yr old. i am normally attracted to older women but for some reason being with this 15 yr old is the best decision i ever made..She treats me right and more mature than the older women i date normally..I was scared to get in a relationship with her bc of the difference but im happy with her so i dont think age should matter but i would i say i was scared to go to jail lol

March 22, 2011 at 5:01 pm
(70) Summer says:

Okie…so I have a bit of a problem. I’m nervous to ask it though. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve started to get a crush on a girl that is 20, but will be 21 in november. She likes me too. But we’re worried about the fact that it might be illegal or something of that nature. Can we be together? Or shal I wait until I’m 18 and she’s 22? I really don’t want to wait that long, but I’ll wait for her if I have to.

April 2, 2011 at 6:21 pm
(71) Mia says:

I was 27 when I started seeing a woman who was 23 years my senior. I originally met her when I was 22 and we were friends for several years before she made THE move on me. She was never into women before me and I had been with one prior to her. In all accounts we were both into men until ‘that night’. The relationship was on / off for 9 years and luckily we still talk quite a bit. I tried dating men after that relationship but didn’t work. I am into older women (or anyone that is mature) but only my closest friends know my involvment with women.

Age is just a number. Communication, mutual respect, laughter, and fondness of one another is key to a great relationship.

April 17, 2011 at 2:11 am
(72) sasha says:

I am 27, and I have really intense feelings for a woman who is 52. Although she is seperated, I asked her to get a divorce. I can not wait to ask her out, so that I can make her aware that she is my future wife!!

April 24, 2011 at 12:09 am
(73) Hayley says:

So i am a fourteen year old female , and my girlfriend is 17 she will be eighteen in july and i will be fifthteen in june. Everyone is like you better be careful with your age diffrence.. ? Does it really matter could my girlfriend get charged with Rape.. ?

May 2, 2011 at 10:31 am
(74) Agnetha says:

I am 31 and my partner is 53. We’ve been together almost 11 years. Both our families and friends have come to accept and acknowledge our relationship.I’ve been attracted to older women and my previous relationships also had huge age gaps.I think it is easier for gay couples to make the age gap work simply because you share alot in common and tend to understand the different stages a little better.I simply adore my partner, she is sooooooo sexy and carries herself very well.I think if your relationship is focussed on respect, trust, love and honesty then it can conquer anything. We are so used to people looking at us as mother and daughter ans sometimes exploit it as well.We treat each other as equals and always remind ourselves of what we share and have been sharing the past 11 years.She is just so amazing and I love her immensly.

July 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm
(75) Sara Anne says:

Hi,

I am 25 and I have as well always been attracted to older women. I just met a woman who is 38, which puts us at 13 years apart. She has a child who is 7 years old, who I think is just the most adorable kid. I am falling fast and hard for this woman, and I fear that she thinks our age gap is a problem. She even tells me though that she has never dated someone as mature as me. I am ready to have a more settled down life, because I have always wanted the family life and really close partnership with my lover.

I do believe this is going to work out as long as we both are open to growing together, learning together, making sacrifices and compromises just like any other relationship.

July 20, 2011 at 7:33 pm
(76) lana3 says:

Im 19 and my partner is 35, at first when we were just friends I thought she would never want to be with someone so young, I thought I was more of a kid to her, but one day it just happened, and the connection is amazing and we look great togather! the age diffence has its complecations, she has 4 kids, and an exhusband who is repolsued by us, but we are working through it, all that matters is that we both fell in love with each other despite our age, and you cant help that! So i figure we gotta go by that and work at it, we have a connection, get along, and love each other, so its worth all the complecations!

July 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm
(77) BitterCup says:

I’m 16, and my partner is 18 years my senior. Not only am I physically attracted to her. But we have tons in common! We get along well. We spend alot of time together. We care very much for eachother. Even though i’ve fallen for her, we both know its going to end sooner or later. I know that deep down the age difference bothers her. I want to send her to see this thread without me having to show her. But i’m not going to give up. Seeing this thread gives me even more hope. Cause honestly, I could care less about what anyone thinks about us. I could care less about the stares we get in public. I want her to feel how i’m feeling right now.

September 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm
(78) Rachel says:

My lovely older woman,

I said that I just wanted your friendship. Your wisdom and friendly companionship. I said that I would be okay and that I would be strong even if you decided to ignore me and everything that I wrote to you. But I lied. I really lied. So here is the truth: I love you and I’ve always wanted more. I will always have hope that we can have something more, somewhere deep down, even if we both decide to forget. I don’t care about the consequences or if you have some deep-seated issues. I will always be here for you should you need someone to have and to hold through your difficult and painful life. I want you to know that and remember that in case you’ve got no where to turn. Because I will always be here.

I forgive you.

Rachel.

October 9, 2011 at 6:39 am
(79) Jenn says:

I am 21 and my partner is 46. We love each other very much and find our age not a problem. Most of the time we joke about it. Even if she was younger or older I wouldn’t love her any different. She is the best thing that has happen to me. We get along great and the sex is AMAZING!!!!

November 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm
(80) Le says:

so glad i found this site….

I’m 20yrs older than my beautiful partner nikki. Shes 19 iv just turned 40, we have been together for about 20months.

We were close friends when she was younger, i was her dance teacher, a mentor, i didn’t know then but she had feelings for me and i just adored her. i moved away for a few years and we kept in touch daily via emails text etc. i think both of us emotionally connected and a deep bond was formed. i was married and had 3 children my eldest not too much younger than nik. i wasn’t inlove with my husband, but lead the perfect life and lifestyle, always hiding my true feelings. i could feel our friendship getting closer and changing and for months i tried to put all that aside but they were so strong and i could tell she loved me totally, unconditionally. the first time we kissed was something i had never experienced. it felt right, beautiful and left me wanting more. i ended up leaving my husband and shocking my whole entire family and circle of friends, but i had to do what made me happy and for the first time alive. yes we have our issues with age, mainly with kids or me thinking im old (lol), but we love each other and have been through too much to let anything come between us. she is my soul mate and im hers and we compliment each other, i can see us living a long and happy life and would love to marry her one day! (it needs to become legal in AUS…) my children accepted my decisions and family are coming around. we are ready to move forward and live our lives happy and very much in love with an attitude of it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks age is just a number it has nothing to do with who you love …xx

November 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm
(81) Jays wife says:

It does and can work! My girlfriend is 18 years older than me, i’m 24 and she’s 42, we have been together for a year and a half and we both have never been happier. My mother struggles with accepting our age gap, and says she doesn’t see her self ever thinking our relationship is “normal” .. she has also made comments about being embarrassed by the situation. However I’ve unfortunately learned to live my life for me and disregard the negative comments from her. It takes time, and people DO come around.. some longer than others but if you’re happy than that’s the most important things. I love my soon to be finance and will continue to prove the world wrong.

December 17, 2011 at 12:24 am
(82) Happily In Love says:

My honey and I are in the process of making it work. The thing to remember is like all relationships near and far, young or older, there are ups and downs. My girlfriend and I are 23 years apart with me just entering my twenties and her beginning her mid forties. We’ve been together for about 16 months and we currently live about 12 hours apart. She has a couple of kids a year and so older than I am and that has made a couple rough speed bumps but we do believe things will calm down over time. We find that if you don’t focus on other people’s reaction and stay true to your feelings it is incredibly possible. Of course there are times she’ll reference things I’m too young to remember but on occasion I’ll jokingly ask is she is old enough to remember certain things. It’s the same as any other relationship. We laugh together and cry together. Luckily for me she’s more of an older young adult at heart so we have a lot of similar interests, I honestly couldn’t see myself spending my life with anyone different. She’s got everything I could want in a person and I think she feels I can always keep her young at heart. My advice to people questioning such situations, go for it! Life is such a gift that we can’t waste it with what ifs. Let your heart live as much as you do, it’s no one’s business but your own.

January 19, 2012 at 10:51 pm
(83) Amanda says:

Wow! This site is amazing… My story is a lot like “le’s” I’m 23 and my gf just turned 47 yesterday… We live together and are not “open” about it.. She had three kids the oldest being 18… We met while I was in college we talked online everyday and became so close… We both looked forward to talking every night.. Problem was she was married.. She didn’t love him and chose to stay with him bc of her kids. She would call me and complain how unhappy she was and I kept telling her life is too short to live unhappy.. WE got closer and closer it became physical and it was so amazing both of us couldn’t get enough.. Her husband had enough of it and one night I dropped her off he told her he filed for devorce she was upset for her kids but so excited to finally be able to become closer with me.. I moved almost right away its been great (few ups and downs) but we love each other greatly and the sex is great too! I am so attracted to her..

February 27, 2012 at 12:18 am
(84) Serena says:

I’m a 15 year old girl and found myself attracted to this girl who had short hair, tattoos and lots of piercings. I’m very confused as I never thought of myself feeling this way about girls. But once I saw her, in a room of tons of guys, plenty attractive as well, but the only person I wanted to get attention from was her and I still cant stop thinking about her. I need advice please to help me with my confusion, anything helps

March 18, 2012 at 9:48 pm
(85) KaliN says:

im 14 and bicurious..the girl i like is almost 17 the hardest thing is that she has more experience than i do even though she saysshes straight and just had fone sex with me..she keeps sendin me mixed signals…like she will be all cuddly and touchy one day and thnthe next i will do the same thing and she gets annoyed….its so confusing…and on top of it she makes me nervous when im around her sometimes like i cant find the words to sayanything to her…….

April 23, 2012 at 5:09 am
(86) Jess says:

i am 17 and i have a huge crush on my science teacher and she is 27 or 25 year old and i dont know if she had crush on me and how i know she does and i almost finish school? please help?

May 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm
(87) Jenny says:

I have not been on this website for quite a while and it is SO nice to read many more new entries. I often feel like I am not the only one in the world to be in that position and it is really refreshing! I am 26 and I always have been attracted to women about 15 years older than me. Women in their late 30′s, early 40′s are SO pretty! I have never really done anything but date a woman who actually was playing with my feelings and who happened to be bi. But I have new hopes, thanks to these posts that I will eventually find the one I am looking for.
Cheers girls and thanks for sharing!

May 11, 2012 at 1:18 am
(88) MissBL says:

I’ve had feelings for a woman who is 42 (Im 20) for 2 years now. She is honestly my everything. I love her more than words can explain. I plan on marrying her one day. I want more than anything for everyone to accept us as a real couple. What are some tips to help with family/friends who dont accept this type of relationship?
If it was just a fling type of thing i wouldnt stress it but I truly believe its the “real deal”. I do have a career already & she of course does as well so finances aren’t a problem for us. The usual comments about our relationship are usually that I want her for her money. But money is no option. If she was a waitress or manager at a local McDonalds I’d love her just the same. From the moment I saw her I knew she was “the one” I knew that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I see her face, her smile, hear her voice or hear her laugh and cannot stop smiling. My days are instantly better when she’s around. I can literally go on and on about how amazing she is. But I think at this point I’m rambling. ;)

I hope some of you can help us with this situation. We don’t really care about what others think. Its just we’d rather not lose anyone close to us if we have the chance to avoid it.

Age , Race mean nothing when it comes to love

xo

May 16, 2012 at 10:02 am
(89) Vikki says:

This thread is amazing and has restored my confidence. Nothing could change the way I love my girl friend, we have a 21 year age gap, im 22, but Im concerned on how to break the news to family. Close friends know but that is it. What were peoples experiences of telling there family, mine are not the most accepting of people. I love her so much and im glad I came across this.

June 3, 2012 at 2:03 pm
(90) Sarah says:

My girlfriend is 16 years older than me. We met when I was 21 and were friends for nearly 3 years before we got together. We have now been together for 2.5 years. I adore her and can see myself marrying her.

However, I do worry about aspects of our age difference. I hate the thought of potentially living the last several decade of my life alone. This fear is made worse by the fact that my girlfriend is very hesitant to have children. I feel a lot of pressure to “figure things out” soon and feel that I/we have less time to decide whether to have children because she is so much older. I also worry about how our relationship may evolve as we both get older, and whether I will spend years of my younger life caring for her in her old age. And, of course, I feel guilty for even wondering these things.

But when it comes down to it, I just can’t see leaving someone I’m madly in love with because of fears over things that might or might not happen years down the road. I’m honestly not sure there’s much real choice in who we are attracted to and end up falling for. How many people successfully snuff out a budding relationship just because they’re concerned about what the world will think or what hardships they may/may not face in the future?

As a side note, my family has been fantastically supportive. We were scared of how they would react in the beginning, but they adore my girlfriend and see her as part of the family. My mother has said more than once that she can’t imagine a more wonderful person for me to be with. It’s worth saying here that this has NOT been the case with my other similarly aged partners.

June 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm
(91) v says:

She’s 42, I’m 27. I have to say, I hate the look on people’s faces when they see us. What is so evidently wrong? On one side there is the fact that I’m an introvert and she’s an extrovert. Sometimes we get on really well and it’s lovely. Othertimes it gets weird. What I find most hard is that I don’t feel like I can open myself about it with some people. I lie if I say that she’s my girlfriend and I lie if I say that she’s my friend. What are we? I hate being in this position.

June 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm
(92) boi82 says:

Hi there, im 30 and a lady likes me and the only problem which pushes me back is her age, she is 15 years older than me and the funniest part is she is in the USA and I live in london, she asked me to move to the USA and she said she will be with me till the end even she has mentioned several timea that if I want I can maarry her but I just dont know what to do… Now im 30 she is 45…im thinkin about me and her in 10 years time when im 40 and she is 55, age is not just a number thats what Im thinkin.

June 29, 2012 at 11:00 am
(93) Amanda says:

Got together with my partner when I was 27 and she was 50 (nearly 24 year age gap). We’re together 17 years now.
Each woman’s personality matters, and whether you have a lot in common, age gap not withstanding. Clear communication is so important. I think one thing that helped me when I decided to be with her is not being overwhelmed with romantic unreality even though I ~was~ crazy about her –and realizing, we can’t delude ourselves like 2 20 somethings that we’ll be together the rest of our lives… More like, if we’re lucky we’ll have 30 good years together. She has had cancer and that’s pretty serious/life-shortening. I expected to be widowed in my 50s or 60s, not my mid-40s.
It varies by person but yes, there’s still sex, but differences in levels of libido. Realize you can learn a lot from an older/ more experienced partner but that both of you will change and grow as you age. Hopefully the changes you each go through bring you closer.

July 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm
(94) rae says:

My name is rae I’m a 15 year old lesbian attracted to older women. My lover is 19 about to be 20 . For me I don’t care about the age difference and niether does she. I feel love is love no matter what the age is don’t be ashamed be proud :)

July 14, 2012 at 9:26 am
(95) Niah says:

Hii I’,m Agee 11 I’m Singlee But Looking A Girlfriend 10,11, Or 12 I Need My 9th Kiss From Another Girl Aree There Any Lesbian 10,11,12, Or Evn 13 That Lives London And Wants To Kiss And Meet Up To Have Sex My Numbers – 07980025788

July 22, 2012 at 10:52 am
(96) Tera says:

Ahh I thought I was the only one! I am an extremely FEM 22 year old and I am seriously only attracted to women 35 yrs old and older. MAYBE 30 and older… I think like 50 is my limit. (With the acception of Ellen and Rosie…yes I said Rosie.) And they have to be butchy or act guyish- otherwise, I probably wont even give them a chance. My friends and family dont understand why im like this and I really dont know why I am either to be completely honest. I have felt this way since I was 5. The first older woman I had a crush on was my high school softball coach when I was 12! Ive always wondered it there is some psychological reasoning behind it.

July 27, 2012 at 8:31 am
(97) 40years says:

I’m so glad this thread exists! Im 19 my partner is 59. I agree that there probably is a psychological basis for such an attraction, but we’re both very happy so I can’t see that it matters terribly. She inspires me so much, everything she is I want to be. As an added benefit, the sex is AMAZING. Basically, may-december relationships are possible and so worth it, you just need to be able to lead separate lives as well as your togetherness.

July 27, 2012 at 11:42 pm
(98) Chelsie says:

I am so happy to have found this thread. My artwork is based off of lesbian relationships between older and younger women. I was worried that I wouldn’t have an audience and that other people wouldn’t understand but now that I’ve seen so many comments here, I’m excited to go forward with my theme.

Its a new theme.. as in a lot of ideas and only a few are finished works so far. Lots more to come though!

you can visit my site to check it out

http://minimeowz.deviantart.com/

I simply am just not that attracted to women my age. Older women are more intelligent, patient, self confident, have more elegant mannerisms and don’t wear too much make up or dress slutty.. haha

Take care!

August 19, 2012 at 7:36 pm
(99) J says:

23 years old :) with my best friend of 9 years for 1 year. She is 31. Best ever – except when she pulls the age card ;)

August 22, 2012 at 12:47 am
(100) lilithsumeria says:

I’m dating someone younger 20 years. She assures me my worries are unfounded and that she loves me. but how many of these relationships last for the long haul? I worry every time I look in the mirror.

August 24, 2012 at 9:55 pm
(101) Merrimack says:

It’s so good to know I’m not alone in my feelings for older women. I started realizing I was a lesbian when I was about 8. I watched baywatch all the time and I had a huge crush on my teacher. Being high functioning autistic, it was hard for me to socialize with the other students so I would ride with the teacher on the bus for field trips. She is 25 yrs my senior and I recently got back in touch with her on FB and am still crazy about her. She is not married and I don’t know her orientation but we are in different states and I’m too shy.

August 25, 2012 at 6:11 am
(102) Hola says:

Age gaps are fine as long as you’re both legal adults, looking at some of the comments on here I really believe the police have got some arresting to do. There’s some 22 year old idiot (69 Shay) above in “love” with a 15 year old, a lot of sex offenders believe that too, seriously think you need to end this and get some counselling. I’m glad you’re worried about being in jail, cos you’re quite likely to end up there.

Anyone in there 20s or 30s dating someone under 18 has serious mental and emotional problems, and I’m astonished that no one has even condemned assholery like this. Teens are still developing, when I was 15, 16 I thought I knew everything, I was smart, did great in school but now I’m 28 and looking back on my 15 year old self, I know that i was just a kid, growing developing both emotionally and physically. Went to university, found a good job, met wonderful people over the years. You’re wrecking a kids life, denying them all the joys of youth.

If a hetro man or woman engaged in this kind of assholery they’d be in a prison, if a gay man did this he would be in even worse trouble because no one has it worse than gay men. Us lesbians should also take a stand on what is essentially rape, let’s not mess around with soft terminology, call it what it is and condemn it.

August 28, 2012 at 3:21 pm
(103) Amanda says:

My comment is in response to lilithsumeria, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I am 20 and I am crazy attracted to women who are 15-25 years older than me. A big part of the attraction is the way older women look. I love the elegance of an older woman.

August 29, 2012 at 11:36 pm
(104) coral says:

jesus women! how you can get a older girlfriend ??, i cant even had one of my age! i hate u for having the best sex time

September 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm
(105) Kate Honey says:

Hi Cub/other posters,
It’s lovely to find this post. I’m in the position of being very in love with a 41 yr old (I’m 21). I’ve been in love with her for about three years now, and I feel completely unable to tell her about it, although I’ve come close a few times. I fear she would take it the wrong way – be shocked and avoid me. She is gay and I don’t know how much she has guessed about my feelings about her. It’s a pretty wretched situation to be in – don’t know to get out of it other than by completely avoiding her. Which I’m not sure I could stand.
All sympathy to those of you in a similar situation!

September 7, 2012 at 8:47 am
(106) Rachel says:

Don’t worry Kate, I was in a similar situation. It really sucks. Mine didn’t end well. Even if it doesn’t, you’ll find a way to move on and live your life normally. Luck to you.

And to Hola…it is indeed possible to be in love with someone that much younger than you, granted they are 16 or older. I mean, anything under 16 is just wrong, but otherwise, it is unfair to say they are robbing young ones of their lives. These things just happen, it doesn’t mean the person is a pedophile. It also doesn’t mean a young person is stupid or naive. Lots of relationships would “rob” someone of their youth no matter who they are with! You tie yourself down either way. Age is a social stigma, much like many things in this country. I appreciate this thread because people can look past that. Not to mention, some people in their 30s, 40s, 50s STILL haven’t grown up, while some 19 year old might be very mature and have lots of responsibility. You just don’t know the situation.

October 5, 2012 at 2:32 am
(107) loving her says:

Im 32 and in a relationship with an 18 yr old. I am madly in love with her and her with me. She is my first female relationship and I am her first sexual partner. Our sex life is amazing . She is by far the best lover iv ever had. My only problem is I have these fears of people judge me. Most of the people around me think we are great together but sometimes the stares we get and a couple snooty comments just mess with my head.

October 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm
(108) Amy says:

Im so glad i found this site. Im 39 yrs old & always been in love with this lady who is now 62 years old. She recently lost her husband who she adored very much, but in the marriage i could tell he wasnt always so nice to her.

Through the years we had drink and of course she got real touch when she drank and somtimes her hands down my back part of my pants. It never happened again because i went to work at a different place because i knew nothing would ever come of it.

I thought it was best to leave her alone since she was married. Her husband passed away and she needed me to come back to work so now its been a yr since the passing of her husband and just recently ive been getting subtle hints and stares and txt saying she needed to see me then when she does shes very nervous and we go to the place she wants and then she is eager to get home and jumps out of the car LITERALLY!.. Im patiently waiting not wanting to scare her, but send her facebook messges saying ” I miss you and need a April Fix” and no response. :( ( so i dont know maybe her drunkness of those 2 times of hands on me where nothing? what do you think? I also get breast touching my arm or stares at my butt or tells me im pretty.. Iwanna say she does, but with her husbands passing do you think she will ever??

December 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm
(109) naomi says:

i’m 35 yrs old butch and i like much younger femenine women, how can i contact younger women interested in older women for a serious relationship,

December 9, 2012 at 4:38 am
(110) Martin says:

I wouldn’t have a problem with this at all!! the one question I have is it true that the older women in the relationship always dominates or is that me? :)

December 9, 2012 at 4:38 am
(111) Martin says:

I wouldn’t have a problem with this at all!! the one question I have is it true that the older women in the relationship always dominates or is that me? :)

December 9, 2012 at 4:40 am
(112) Martin says:

I don’t have a problem seeing this! the only question I’d like to ask is it true that the older women in the relationship dominates? :)

December 16, 2012 at 8:07 am
(113) Enigma says:

I’m 30 and my girlfriend is 66 she is the most beautiful woman I have every met inside and out. She has 2 sons and is 10 yrs older than my mum but it works everyone says how great we are together. If its the real thing then the age gap won’t be an issue.

January 10, 2013 at 11:19 pm
(114) tazmanian says:

Yes! Age is only a number. I am 23 yrs old and in my first relationship of two yrs with tha love of my life who is 49 yrs. We share everything together. I don’t want to live without her. She is my air I breath, the blood flowing thur my vains, there would be no me without her.

January 14, 2013 at 12:30 am
(115) Paige says:

Please I really need advice! /: I’m 17 and have been in a long distance relationship for 5 months now, I just found out my girlfriend lied about her age and is 13 and will be 14 this year. I still love her and she’s the same exact person I fell for, but what should I do? At an older age I believe age does not matter, but at my age does it? I don’t want to lose her, I love her.. But is 13 too young for me to be dating?

January 17, 2013 at 3:35 pm
(116) Blair says:

I was just wondering how you do to flirt with each other without it being awkward and when can you tell that she is interested in you? I have had such a hard time doing this in the past few years. I am 27 and I am falling for a 61 years-old woman. We had a good connection the first time we talked and we stared at each other in the hallway one time but I have NO idea what to do and what else to look for. ANy help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks:)

January 19, 2013 at 10:01 am
(117) kaffa says:

Ok, so I’m in a relationship and have been for the past 9 years, I’m happy, I’m 25 and my partner is 27. However recently I’ve some how developed feelings for my manager at work, she’s 56. I know I’ve been attracted to older women in the past, but never the same age as my mother! I don’t know how I’ve started to develop feelings for her, we have a good working relationship and friendship, I do not see her outside of work. To be honest I don’t even know if she finds my attractive, I don’t think she’s even gay. She has a Daughter my age. I wouldn’t like to cross a line if I thought I would upset her, after all we have to work together. Any thoughts, or comments would be appreciated.

January 19, 2013 at 8:44 pm
(118) Blair says:

Hey Kaffa,
All I would suggest is to invite her for coffee one day. You can mention in the conversation that you have a girlfriend or simply that you are gay, (if she does not know) observe her reaction and go from there.
Have you ever hugged her? If so is that a short or a long hug?
It also really depends on how you view your relationship with your current girlfriend. Do you feel like you might be over? Would that be just a fling with your co-worker or something more?
AGain I don’t have a clue on how to see the lesbians flirting signs, (and I am pretty much in the same situation as you are:) except that I don’t live with anyone and I am going to ask my “friend” for help next week. I am freaking out! so if you have any advice on how to see whether she is interested in me or not that would be great.
Good luck!

January 25, 2013 at 3:04 pm
(119) Cass says:

In my case i can’t be more lucky, I’m from Nigeria and i came out to england 2 years ago. I found white girls so hot and reason why i said im so lucky because in my 31 year old i found a beautiful 18 year old blondie blue eyed princess with the slim body (I loved !! LOL) for myself, we are so happy, i need to say the sex is the best ever !

January 28, 2013 at 12:12 am
(120) Melissa says:

I am so grateful to have come across all of these encouraging comments. I am currently in love with my best friend’s mom, I love her far stronger than I’ve ever loved another soul. We are about 25 years apart but I feel for her because of her soul, blind to age and gender. She is also in love with me too, and emotionally we are more than friends, but things have not gotten sexual. If we ever do enter in a sexual relationship, I’d be a very slow journey, and I am happy with it because if it’s meant to happen it will and there is no hurry. The part I need advice on is that my best friend, a year older than me, doesn’t know we are in love with eachother. My best friend is really liberal and open-minded, but her mom means the world to her and I would never want to do anything to get in the way of that in any way shape or form. I have felt guilt for being in love with her mom, but I am the happiest I have ever been, and my best friend has said to me “do whatever makes you happy.” I have to bite my tongue from saying “What if your mom makes me happy? Is that ok?” Because if her mom and I ever do become a couple, if I don’t tell my best friend how I feel about her mom first, it feels like going behind her back without her approval. But then if we never do become a couple, it seems unecessary for my to tell her about my feelings. Also, if i do tell her, I would avoid indicating that her mom is in love with me too, and only reference that I am in love with her, because I’d want her to hear her mom’s feelings for me from her mom’s mouth, on her mom’s accord and timing, not mine. My best friend, her mom and I all live in different states so we don’t see eachother very often and especially not at the same time. Anyway, any insight from you all would be appreciated! How would you feel if you were the best friend, would you want to know or would you not want to know until we became a couple? Thanks, and peace love and blessings to you all.

February 11, 2013 at 3:09 pm
(121) kass says:

Im 18 and have been talking to a 28 year old for awhile now.I personally see nothing wrong with it.My friends like her & see how happy she makes me & my family is accepting of it because of the same reason. Im happy and age is honestly just a number.Screw what everyone else thinks.As long as you accept it nothing else should matter.

May 12, 2013 at 2:25 pm
(122) Nad says:

I am52,my GF is 11 yrs younger then me..we r together now for 4 years..first year when we were together my menopause started and if i am honested my sexdrive is lesser then before..my gf understands tht..but tht she wants it a few times a day!..so i try to keep up! lol.. ;)

May 28, 2013 at 9:18 pm
(123) selina says:

I am 16 dating a 20 we where scared at first but age doesent know love becouse age is just a damn number :)

October 6, 2013 at 5:08 pm
(124) Alix.. says:

Hi, I’m 17 and i’m really interested in a 25 year old (Just turned 25) I don’t as in i;ve seen her and wanted to y’know… The first time i saw/met her even if it was just for 2 minutes i thought she was absolutely beautiful. I regretted not talking to her more that night especially when she went somewhere else. Anyway we’ve been chatting for nearly 2 months now i’ve only been talking to her on friendly terms because i respected the fact that she likes to be friends with someone before anything emotional and to be honest so do i.. I don’t think she knows that i actually quite like her and how beautiful i really think she is. One of my mates told me to ask her out for something to eat just casual because some people don’t like to call it a date or name it a date until they’re on it. I’m actually petrified about asking her out due to the fact i’m totally shy and lack confidence and because i have no doubt that i’ll get rejected, but i guess if i don’t ask i’ll never know right? But i wouldnt know what to say or how to say it.. Help?

October 17, 2013 at 1:09 am
(125) Toria says:

I’m 17 (gonna be 18 in a month) and I’m insanely in love with one of my teachers. Shes my old government teacher and I’m in love with her personality and her body…just everything about her. (She’s 45-46.) But I don’t know if she feels the same; I mean, I’ve gotten a few hints, like in the hall, we’ll pass and she’ll wink at me, or tell me I look cute. And we used to always talk, have meaningful conversations, but now I don’t have her class anymore, so we don’t see each other as much. But when we do, I can feel her looking at me. I don’t know. I can’t ask her anything, cause I’m afraid of rejection or potentially getting caught having relations with a teacher. I don’t know.
But I’m glad I’ve found my type; I like older women, I guess I always have. I guess its because I love the protector/motherly vibe that they give off (that’s how I see it)Plus, I love my partner to be the dominating one. :)
I just, don’t know how I’m gonna explain to my family, eventually.

If anyone wants to talk to me, feel free. :)

October 20, 2013 at 9:52 pm
(126) JB says:

I have always liked older women as lovers. My first was 19 years older than me and I had one 32 years older than me. My last was 9 years older than me,. that was in 1996. She died. I have not had a serious lover since then. I am not very out because I do not have a social group and men seem to be attracted to me, not women. I am a very feminine woman and that seems to be a handicap for me in finding a woman. I am 65 now and I would just like a wonderful lesbian that loves me age is not important to me. If you would get in touch with me we might both be happier. I hope that baring my soul here will be read by someone who will get in touch with me.

November 30, 2013 at 5:10 pm
(127) Alex says:

Reading all this stuff makes me happy :)

I’m 19 (girl) and seeing a woman who is 31. Not only are we really really good friends but we just have this strange connection, it’s fantastic but terrible at the same time because she is married (to a man) and has young children.

I know she will never leave her husband because she loves him, and I’m cool with that, I would never ask her to, she has a beautiful family and I don’t want to be the person who ends/contributes to the end of that. Any decision she makes will be for her, not me, not me and her, for her and her alone and I believe that she knows what’s best for her.
At the same time, we’re still inseparable, we just love spending time together, weather it’s hanging out in a ‘just friends’ environment or more like a couple (I can’t say that we are, because we’re not!) and it’s just lovely.

Occasionally she breaks it off, and we go back to being just friends, which hurts me but I respect and understand her reasons for doing it, and we make jokes about it; ‘oh I’ll just have to keep my hands to myself then!’ and it’s okay because I know we can’t take it and in a couple of days she’ll say to me, ‘I can’t do this either, I want you too much, I’m just going to be greedy, and what _____ (husband) doesn’t know won’t hurt him’.
Now I know that makes her sound awful, but you can’t help who you fancy and you can’t just stop fancying someone and if it means we have no will power, then fine, I’ll be weak if it means I can kiss and hug her and everything else that’s brilliant that comes with our little ‘thing’ that we’re doing.
I won’t say I love her because then I know I really will be screwed, but I will say that she feels completely inevitable to me. I’m sure that no matter who I date/go with in the future, I will always end up going back to her because when you have that connection with someone it never really goes away and you snap back to being important to each other because you still are

December 18, 2013 at 11:49 pm
(128) Gabrielle says:

I’m 20 years old, I’ve always dated boys but for the last few years/months my attraction to older women increased!
It all started when I was 15 in high school I had feelings for my french teacher that was probably at least 45 at the time…But I felt like I was not playing this game alone because my teacher was always looking at my, playing with my hair, giving me this profound smile like she new that I liked her! I was really psychically and intellectually attracted to her. But it ended there..!

My real “problem” is my situation now…
I’ve been playing piano for all my life, had the same teacher for all these years and I’ve started to have feelings for her when I was 16-17. We have a 30 years age difference…

Over the years, we became really close, it was not only about the music anymore. I know now pretty much everything about her life and the same for her. She is recently divorced and we became even more close this summer with evenings ending late talking around a great glass of wine…

My feelings for her are not beyond anything I ever felt for another person. I love her to death, she is the most strong, beautiful, smart, sexy, talented person I know. I’m so attracted to her that sometimes I have those sad moments where I cry because she is taking so much space in my head…

Is it worth it to risk this strong relationship for one or a couple nights of pleasure?!? I desire her so much but I don’t think that I would do anything to risk our friendship…But I really hope she will…Since she is older I’m hoping she will do the move..but what if she doesn’t?!

I need to know what it’s like to kiss her (at least!!) I know sex would be amazinggg!!

January 17, 2014 at 3:07 pm
(129) Wendy says:

im so much in love with a 37 year old single mom.. im 23 but i dont mind. what matters is that we love each other…she takes care of me and i do the same…

February 1, 2014 at 8:00 am
(130) LoveIsLove says:

I have been reading all this and I really enjoy knowing that I am not alone. I am 23 and I think that I am in love with a 57 year old. She is perfection. She also has 2 kids, and 2 grandchildren. Her youngest child is 30. I don’t understand my feelings, but they have never been more real. I’m having a hard time thinking that she would be open to anything. She is a very wholesome Christian woman and I’m afraid that if she were real with her feelings that she would have enormous guilt. I have done research on how to talk to her about it and how to make her feel comfortable about it, but who knows if I will ever go through with it. I don’t want her to ever feel guilty for loving me. I know that she feels something because, even though I’ve only known her 6 short months, I can read her like no one else. I have always been attracted to older women….since I was 6 years old and liked a beautiful third grade teacher down the hall. The way I see it, 200 years ago, you couldn’t marry someone out of a different tribe, 50-60 years ago you couldn’t marry someone of another race. And today, it’s taboo to love someone of the same sex. There is always going to be some kind of debacle of love (mostly by people who are denying there own feelings or would hate to see others happy). I will continue to explore my feelings with her because if she is my chance for true happiness, I can’t deny myself that because of a social issue. I’m of a mind that if we are okay with it, the rest will follow suit.

February 26, 2014 at 5:24 pm
(131) Ll says:

I’m 15 ; lesbian and I’m atracted to wemon 18-40 I prefer wemon who are mature and beautifulz I’m an old soul as a lot of people say and I’m mature for my age. I just find my self drooling over older wemon I’m attracted to their intelligence, beauty, and maturity. I would like to be the one who makes her feel safe I’m a “stud” or whatever u call it. I only would date fems, I’m not judgemental towards anyone though. Any thoughts is it wrong because I’m 15?

March 1, 2014 at 4:18 pm
(132) Cin says:

I’m very glad I came across this page. I am really interested in a woman in her mid 40s. I am 26. I met her at work. The minute I saw her, I was instantly attracted to her. I’ve never been so attracted to anyone before. It drives me crazy how she makes me feel. I started to develop feelings for her about half a year ago. I can’t help but stare at her when she walks by me. I am mesmerized by her voice, her laugh, her hair, her way of walking. I love the way she carries herself. I think she suspects something. I know she has noticed my stares and sometimes she will stare back at me. I get nervous and look elsewhere. I am worried that she sees me as a youngster because I look very young for my age. People have told me I look like I am 17 or 18! I know she has children, but I don’t know if she is married. I can’t say I am in love with her because I don’t know her that well. I would love to get to know her though! I wish I could express my feelings to her, but I am afraid I will never have the chance to do that. I am too scared and I definitely don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. But OMG, when she stares at me, talks to me, smiles at me, I feel a rush of joy enter my body. This may come off as trite and absurd, but she is the most attractive/beautiful woman I have ever seen!!!!!! Before I met this woman, I was not attracted to women that much older, but ever since I met her, I’ve noticed I look at older women more often. Older woman tend to be more intelligent, mature, experienced, and stable. I love that!

March 1, 2014 at 4:43 pm
(133) cind says:

I am so glad I came across this page. I am very much interested in a woman in her 40s. I am 26. I met her at work. The minute I saw her, I was instantly attracted to her. I’ve never been this attracted to anyone before! This may come off as trite and absurd, but she is the most beautiful/attractive woman I have ever seen!!!!!! I can’t say I am in love with her because I don’t know her too well. I’ve heard from people she is a nice person. Whenever I see her, I am mesmerized by her voice, her laugh, her hair, her way of carrying herself…so assertive! I can’t help but stare at her and I know she has noticed. I am worried that she sees me as a youngster because I look so young. People have told me I look like I am 17 or 18 years old! I’ve spoken with her a few times and during those times I’ve noticed she doesn’t really make eye contact with me whenever I look her in the eye. The few times I’ve caught her looking at me, she sent me a warm smile. I can’t help but smile at her then quickly look elsewhere. She makes me so nervous! I want to express my feelings to her, but I am scared. I am afraid of being rejected and of making her feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel she enjoys my stares and other times I feel she looks at me, but I am not 100% sure. I hate this situation. It makes me feel tense and irritable. I don’t know for how long I will be able to withstand this. I just want a chance to get to know her and for her to get to know me, without it being awkward. I want to ask her out for coffee, but since I don’t talk to her a lot or know her that well, it may come off as wrong. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

March 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm
(134) patricia says:

Well I’m 19 talking to a 28 year old, its crazy cause she does look very young but her beauty knocked me off my feet I just had to talk to her. Shes been talking about the whole age difference she told me what can she offer me? I said anything she would offer someone who really wanted to be with her,and thats her love. She tried talking to me about how I should have fun and everything but I told her we can do it together I told her its okay to be scared cause shes with the right person who’s willing to catch her when she falls and that age don’t matter cause I could do anything someone her age can do. And honestly think right there that conversation got her. Cause now were talking way more this is the beginning I feel of two people falling inlove.

April 8, 2014 at 4:46 am
(135) cloe says:

I am 20 years old and I am bisexual . I haven’t come out of the closet yet but I had a thing for a 44 year old who is married and I am in a relationship with a boy who is 18. But now I am attracted to a 40 plus year old women who is single I haven’t any idea what to do.

Leave a Comment

Line and paragraph breaks are automatic. Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title="">, <b>, <i>, <strike>
  1. About.com
  2. People & Relationships
  3. Lesbian Life

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.