How to Come Out to Your College Roommate
My nephew just graduated from high school and is looking forward to heading off to college at the end of next month. Right about now, he should be receiving the name and contact info for his new college roommate. Like any kid heading off to college, he's got some trepidation about meeting his roommate. He wonders, will they get along, will his roommate be messy or like to party in the room when he wants to study.
One thing my nephew doesn't have to worry about is if his new roommate is homophobic or not. For gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans youth heading off to college and about to meet their roommates for the first time, this can be a valid concern. On the one hand many are looking forward to college as this new opportunity to be away from home and live their lives more openly. On the other hand, they have to figure out how to let a complete stranger, whom they will be sharing intimate space with, know that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans.
If you're a gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans student heading off to college, do you come out to your roommate right away, or do you wait until you've gotten to know him or her a little first? And either, way, how do you come out to your roommate?
My nephew is straight, but maybe his roommate will be gay. What should he do, how should he react? Here's some advice for what to do when if your roommate comes out to you.
Certain colleges have a reputation for being gay-friendly. Others, not so much. How can you know if the college you are going to is gay-friendly or not?
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I’m sure your nephew will have no problem whatever his roommate’s orientation. With you as his aunt, he probably is very comfortable with all variations. I bet he thinks it is cool to have a famous aunt.
I looked at the list of 20 gay-friendly colleges & didn’t see any in Chicago. Now that is strange as we have the 3rd? largest gay community in the country & appear to be a liberal-minded city. What’s up with that?
I actually experienced this problem. After finding out my roommate’s contact info, I messaged her on myspace and facebook to introduce myself. I’m open about my orientation on both of these sites. In response to my hello message, she called housing and requested a roommate change on the grounds that we had “radically different lifestyle choices.”
It still makes me upset to know that we are expected to let people know about our situation (I know for safety reasons it is so), while the pedophile and rapist hide in plain sight. It will always make me sick.
I wish your nephew the best!