From the Lesbian Life Forum:
Surgicalgal wrote:
I voted no, marriage isn't important to me. But I do think if a couple's going to start a family they should get married.
Thethyss replied:
My partner and I are 39 and 41, respectively, and we're probably not going to have children. But getting married is really important to me (I never thought it would be.) I really want to be able to say to the world at large, just like straight couples can, that I married the love of my life and we take our relationship seriously enough to take the step of the ceremony and legal things that go along with it.
Salty chimed in:
Getting married is starting a family whether they have children or not. Some hetero-couples can't have children but they can get married. Getting legally married is a requirement to receive financial benefits from the government and a list of other things that go with that legal document.
What do you think? Join the Discussion
© Kathy Belge
My partner of 23 years, and I were married in Mass. in Oct. I am 55 and she is 60. We live in the west…and YES, it is important to weigh in on this very important and neglected right. This Country does not affort “democracy” for all…it must.
Of course getting married is important….it’s essential for financial, medical care, benefits, rights, and entitlements.
For those of you who think being committed to each other is all you need, you are sadly mistaken. As you age with your partner (we have been together for 27 years now), you realize no matter how many legal documents you draw up to ensure you both age gracefully with dignity and financial stability, the only true protection is that marriage certificate. Example…neither of us is entitled to the other’s retirement benefits when one of us dies. If we were legally married, that would be such an important benefit to have after you have lost the love of your life, and you now find your income slashed in half as well! Every gay individual should be fighting as hard as they can for marriage on a federal level so that we all have an equal right to marry the person we love irregardless of what state we live in or move to. This is not an issue that any of us can be complacent about!
Yes, getting married is important to me! Legal marriage would ensure that my partner would recieve all my property, insurance benifits, social security, ect. just like hetrosexual couples do.
I believe that marriage is a right that every adult should have…sexual orientation should not define our rights.
Yes, we should be allowed to be married. My life partner and I will be together 34 years this December and I want us to have all the benefits that married couples have. We will keep on fighting here in New Jersey for the same rights that are giving to all but the gay community.
From the voice of experience, it doesn’t matter what documents you have had signed, when your life partner dies, we have very little (if any at all) legal protection in this country at any level, federal or state. That situation is not right by any definition.
I believe marriage is a right that we as gays and lesbians should have. Then it becomes our own personal decision if we choose to marry or not.
Marriage means many things to many people. I believe no one should be denied this right/this opportunity.
Besides legal rigths I don’t understand why someone would want to put a contract on their love or union… I’m alergic to marriage, maybe that’s why I don’t see the point of it.
For me, relationships are very hard working thing to built and what I see is people spending more time planing the cerimony and dreaming about it than knowing each other and planing the marriage.
Suzyd
Getting married is important to me. It’s a symbol of love and commitment. It’s supposed to be an undying bond, the holiest of unions. It also means protection. If my partner and I decide to have kids, and I die, she won’t have any claim to them and they could end up in foster care. Hell we can’t even rent from some rental companies because they don’t allow roommates. The only way multiple people can rent from them is if its parents and kids, or a married couple. We don’t have much, but I’d like to know that when I die, she won’t have to go to court constantly because we’re not legally married.
In my personal oppinion, I think marriage is overrated. So many couples these days get married for the wrong reasons, or rush into things, and end up getting a divorce before they even hit 2 years!
Obviously that is heterosexual marriages, since gay marriage isn’t legal in a lot of places.
So I can kind of see both sides of it. Legalizing gay marriage would give the couples that have been together their whole life, a chance to actually get married. The couples that actually HAVE that life long love. Because, frankly, if you can stay together for 20 something years, or even half of that, without being married, you have beat a lot of straight couples that are married.
The only reason I would consider marriage is because of the benefits of it. Knowing that my love will still be supported even after I die, is something that would take a huge weight off of my shoulders.
I’m still young, I’m only 21, and have yet to be in a relationship for more than a year. So, I’m sure, once I get older and actually settle down with someone I fall in love with, my views will change.
It just kills me that there are SO many straight couples that take advantage of marriage for the wrong reasons, when some gays and lesbians would give anything to be marriage to the person they love and have actually been with for a lifetime.
It’s almost like, for some people, marriage is a game to see how fast you can marry someone and get divorced. The divorce rate these days are so high is sickening.
Whether you believe in marriage or it’s not for you is not the issue. It’s the power that someone else has to control what you can or cannot do that is disturbing. It’s no different than the way blacks and women were treated way back when. It’s society’s way of saying you don’t matter and you don’t count. If you are a US citizen and everyone except you is allowed to participate or recieve benefits of
some kind it’s not right.
I voted Yes, marriage is extremely important. That is why my wife and I got married a year earlier than we had planned and had to settle for a special but intimate wedding because we didn’t have time to plan the larger celebration we had intended on having. We were married in SF on Oct 24, 2008. Our marriage is LEGAL and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Because we live in TX our marriage is not recognized by the state or of course, the federal government. We do not receive any of the benefits straight couples receive by being married, including the right to automatically take my spouses last name(although I use it on everything that is not a legal document). We don’t get the tax breaks or the automatic right to benefits from my spouses work such as health insurance which leaves me uninsured. So, yes, marriage is important. If not from a moral perspective certainly from a legal one. BTW, saying you need to be married to start a family made me chuckle. I live in the county that has the highest percentage of unwed teen mothers in the nation. I guarantee you the majority of these kids are straight and could care less about the fact that they have the legal right to marry. How ironic that you don’t appreciate something unless you are denied the right to have it… Ginger’s Wife
Yes, marriage is very important to me. I should have the same right as any heterosexual person. Marriage SHOULD NOT be defined by what sexual orientation anyone is.
Also, it’s not us gays that are ruining the marriage deal, it’s the people that get married then divorce each other right away.