Today's Sexy Friday is not a tip, rather it's a discussion. Please join in and add your opinion. What do you do with your sex toys when you end a relationship? Some women believe that reusing sex toys with another lover is inappropriate and kind of gross.
Another woman I spoke with was adamant that her sex toys were an extension of herself and you would no more ask her to get new fingers or a tongue with each new lover, so why expect her to get new sex toys? And let's face it, some of these items can be quite pricey. Can you afford to dump $100-$300 every time a new lover comes into your life?
And then there's the environmental concerns. How many perfectly good dildos, vibrators, harnesses and bottles of lube are going to end up in landfills? What do you think? Vote in the poll and add your opinion to the comments section below.
As a butch, my toy is my cock. I bought it for me, because
It fits me, and when I wear it, it is a part of me.
My last girlfriend didn’t agree. She cut up and threw
Out all my toys. Her opinion ” new chick, new stick”.
She never did “get” me sexually. This was just more evidence of that!
ive only ever used toys with one ex and when we broke up i moved states and left her in our house – so obviously the toys stayed with her.
i agree with your ex, nohodyke – new chick, new stick! its gross. i dont want to be using a toy when you’ve used it with another girl.
its not hygenic or fair.
Sharing sex toys is ok. For sentimental reasons, someone may not want to share their toys with a new partner and that’s ok.
Or that persons new lover may not be interested in sex toys or using toys you’ve shared with a past partner. Your new lover may wonder if you’re thinking of them of your past lover.
A good sex toy is hard to find. I keep ‘em for as long as they are safe & capable of pleasing me or my lover.
Anything that would be ‘unhygienic’ to share between partners, is unhygienic for multiple uses, whether w/ a partner or flying solo.
New Chick New Stick! I like that
and I agree! I would HATE to think of my girlfriend using the toys with her exes..Breaks my heart to tell you the truth!And I LOVE toy shopping with her anyway 
I agree with nohodyke, Im butch and i buy high quality cocks, 100% silicone and between that and my spareparts harness I would be dropping about $300. Its more a part of me than it is a toy.
I always find it depends on how the thought of using a toy you shared with another woman affects your new lover.
If she does not mind, why not keep using it? If its just a toy to her (like your toaster or other stuff you used in your last relationship) it is perfecly ok.
But if you feel she has only the slightest problem with it, you should replace it (go shopping toghether! YAY!), because after all you are with her because you love her, aren’t you? Do you really want her to be entangled in thoughts about your toy while you are passionately making love to her.
I guess it’s no secret that the sex with a lover who is comfortable with what you do and have is ulitmately what you want. Forget the money, forget the attachment to you favourite piece of rubber – go for the one thing that matters: her.
And if you feel that you are more attached to your toy than to her well-being… well, then you have some thinking to do, don’t you?
I can only repeat what I always say: talk to her and LISTEN to her. Believe what she sais and don’t act ignorant just because that’s the easy thing to do. After all, IF she was a manipulative bitch who only wanted to get her way – what’s she doing in your life? Right?
The whole landfill thing never came up in my head and I can’t worry about that one. Can it be destroyed in another manner? I don’t know but the financial part of it made me think and give me pause.
Emotionally, I would prefer her to use something that is new and not a toy that was used in a previous relationship. Or what if said toy was used during a one-night stand? I’d be turned off.
I guess I was lucky to have been with someone that did not like keeping the cocks she had used with someone else.
Males aren’t asked to replace their penises, so why should women be asked to replace their toys?
I also think it all depends on how clean they are kept. Do they use condoms, or do they wash them properly between uses? My thinking is more disease than anything else – If they aren’t properly cleaned diseases can be spread.
A couple might consider going out and buying something special just for themselves, and it can be disposed of if their relationship ends.
I’m a femme and never actually owned my own toys. I agree with the butches who say they are an extension of themselves- all the women I’ve slept with (where we used toys) had their own toys and I presumed they’d used them in the past with others. But so had they used their tongues and (can I say the “p” word here? Anyway, you get the point)… I actually noticed and appreciated the variety of carrying cases/containers they had for their toys and if I were a photographer I would have done a book or a series on the women and their dildo boxes (one had an old wine box, another a hat box, etc); they were as different as the women and their toys! But, if the toy is not an extension of you and your new woman wants new toys, then I suppose go with that but do take into consideration the environmental factor. Our planet is being destroyed by our over consumption. You really can’t get over the fact that in the past your lady was with someone else? Try looking at your own jealousy- or whatever emotions are coming up for you- and think about the fact that in the past you’ve been with other women. Also, if you are grossed out make sure the toys get sanitized many times and throw a condom on it. It’s true- using sex toys w/o properly sanitizing them can lead to disease- but clean them well and use condoms if you are freaked and then call it a day (night!). The planet could use all the help it can get.
All sex toys should be used with a condom on it and then therefore should be perfectly acceptable to used them with multiple partners. Many toys contain harmful chemicals that leach out especially when they get warm, and sex gets the genitals hotter than normal. Plus it is harmful to the environment to just chuck it all into landfills. I also agree with the people above who say “hey i’ve used my body parts with someone else before.”
I agree with everyone who says its more a cleanliness thing then anything. If people aren’t taking care of their toys, I’d want to get new ones. But since toys are so expensive, it’s not a big deal to drop a few extra dollars to get the cleaning solution, bacteria reducing/resistant storage containers, etc. I consider my sex toys a part of my personal sex life, just like my body, the past skills/techniques I’ve learned etc as all something I bring to each new relationship. Sure there will be modifications, to the new individual, but some things carry over. Toys are just something I take care of cleaning wise after each use, regardless of if I use them with a partner or use them by myself. When I enter a new relationship, I’m excited to share my toys and see what ones my new partner enjoys/brings to our relationship!
I will not use my toys on anyone else. Period. Nope.
She can bring her own toys to bed and I would be happy to use them on her if she likes.
Personally, I like to use my own hands on her — the skin to skin is a big turn on for me so I will only use toys (and only her own) if she desires it.
And it’s not about money. It is about disease.
I also do not compare a “toy” to the real “thing” anyhow. I don’t care for “that” anyhow.
At the end of the day, who ever “it” penetrated can keep it.
My partner told me that if anything ever happened to her to make sure I took the toys out of her apartment so her older sons wouldn’t find them. She was quite adamant about it. She even made sure I knew where they were kept. Well she was killed by a drunk driver 2 years ago and being in the absolute state of grief I was enveloped in at the time, I could not find them for the life of me. I just figured when and if her sons found them hopefully they would get a chuckle and realise their mother was having a good time when she was on this earth. What else could I do?
I am a butch chick and honestly i can’t imagine using the same one on my new girl. I would rather leave the old one with my ex, just to remind her of what she has lost.
I feel it’s a personal preference. I can see both sides and can agree with both sides. As far as ‘hygiene’ issues, if it isn’t clean enough for B, it wasn’t clean enough for A either and that’s just wrong. Clean is clean. Dirty is dirty.