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Kathy Belge

Clean and Sober Dating

By January 30, 2013

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dry zoneWhen you give up drugs and alcohol or start to date someone who has, it becomes very clear how much of our social lives revolve around alcohol. But being clean and sober doesn't mean you can't have a ton of fun in lesbian dating. I came up with 20 different dates that don't involve any drugs or alcohol. I bet you can easily come up with 20 more.

January 31, 2013 at 11:27 am
(1) janice says:

These are excellent ideas. This is the first time I’ve seen this topic discussed so kudos to you.

My wife has been sober now and in AA for almost 2 years. It’s been difficult for me too. I will not tempt her so I never drink–never. I miss a beer and that glass of wine but it’s better than her being tempted and perhaps go back to the way it was before. You’re right about alcohol being prevalent not only when lesbians meet for group activities but any group activity. Some alchoholices can cope better than others. My wife is particularly sensitive.

You may not realize how much alcohol there is out there. The advertising drives my wife nuts. Sometimes we have to drive a different route to miss that billboard or liquor store. There are many, many things we have to avoid. One of the things facing us is telling her peers at her new job that she doesn’t drink. The Xmas party was a nightmare for her when they had tequila on the table–she had to leave.

There are many missing pieces in our life so doing non-alcohol activities is important. Many of the ideas on the list that was given are things we do. I guess one of the most important thing to remember is people must be more considerate with others who don’t drink. Be understanding. Ask if you should bring wine for the dinner party at your house. Ask if they want to go to a bar for a drink after work. You can’t assume it’s ok with everyone. Excuse my diatribe. But this topic is so important. Through this period of sobriety for me and her is that I realize the presence of alcohol in our society permeates every facet of our life.

January 31, 2013 at 12:23 pm
(2) terri says:

I will have 15 yrs of sobriety on 2/21/13. I use to think that my life would be boring and I would never have anything to do. Boy was I wrong, today I can ride my Harley, which I would have never have even owned when I was drinking. My girlfriend does not drink, When she first met me one of the things she liked was that I did not drink. Her not drinking is by choice, not because she is an alcoholic. We fish, we camp, we go out dancing, play pool. We just don’t evolve are life around alcohol because it is a choice. Once your wife get’s some time under her belt, and works with people in recovery, the desire will fade ! happy trails to you!

January 31, 2013 at 1:14 pm
(3) janice says:

Thanks, Terri. I appreciate your encouragement.

February 1, 2013 at 8:50 am
(4) oneleggedtramp says:

I congratulate both of you janice and terri on your respect for your partners wishes.

My girlfriend and I have some wine or mead at home now and then, but most often don’t drink while away from home because of the driving home later. We were both involved with the bar or club scene for quite a bit until we got together. Now there’s four bottles of wine and mead that have been untouched for a little over three months.

Sometimes for fun we’ll take several rolls of quarters and go arcade jumping.. There’s many arcades in the capital city thirty miles away. Other times we grab our roller skates and go to one of the indoor roller arenas nearby. There’s a lot of fun stuff to do without alcohol, Jenny

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