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Kathy Belge

Is there Any Hope of Getting Back with her Ex?

By February 25, 2013

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coworkersI heard last week from a heart-broken young lesbian who wants to get back with her ex-girlfriend. She says that she's been working on herself and that she feels she can bring something to the relationship that she wasn't able to before. She's still sees her ex at work every few weeks and each time she does, it opens up the wounds and she only wishes they could be back together. To make matters worse, her ex is now dating someone new. She wants to know, is there any hope for this relationship?

What do you think? Can getting back with an ex ever work? If so, what needs to be in place for it to be successful?

February 25, 2013 at 9:17 pm
(1) Annette says:

Sometimes people do get back together after breaking up, but the best way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to moon around and not go on with your own life. If your ex is dating someone new, you should move forward with your own journey. Date other people; experience the world; fill your life with interesting people. It’s a no lose situation. Whether you get back together with your ex or not, you’ll be happier for it. (And yes…I know it hurts and it’s hard. I wish you good friends to talk you through it!)

February 28, 2013 at 1:47 pm
(2) Bodie says:

It is possible to get your lover back, but not a sure thing. And it might take a lot more time than you think because you have to work on you FIRST and concentrate on being your ex’s friend. And even if you don’t get back together you will be better prepared for the next relationship in your life with some tools to do it better. Check out this book by a therapist who used the strategies in the book to get his own lover back. “How To Get Your Lover Back” Blase Harris.

The hardest thing is knowing that you have to work on you — really WORK ON YOU! — before you can even try to get your lover back. Otherwise you just repeat the same old behavioral scripts and end up at the exact same place that made you be apart.

Good luck.


February 28, 2013 at 5:39 pm
(3) jankelsma says:

I agree with Annette – try to date around and enjoy your life now. Wishing you were back together with someone who isn’t available right now is a waste of time. Life is too short and we have so much in life to experience. I have been in the same place as you are, wanting to be with someone after a break up but I moved on. I learned so much from my experiences and have become a much better person for it. And yes, it is hard and painful at times but you will get through it. I believe that it might be possible for you to get back with your ex, but doubtful it will happen instantaneously. Continue to work on who you are and what you are about. You might be surprised at where that takes you.

February 28, 2013 at 8:33 pm
(4) Ann says:

Talking from experience, yes it is possible to get back with your ex, but in the time that you are apart you should date, go out, have fun, live your life because there is no guarantee that she will come back to you. She is living hers. Don’t put your journey on hold waiting for her to come back to you. I was there once. I dated, got out, had fun, and learned that while I was waiting for my ex to return, (and there was no indication that she would,) there were other women who wanted me to notice that they were interested. I almost got engaged to another, my ex came back just in time to save me from seriously being out of her life forever. So my sister, stop waiting, wishing, and hoping. All that will get you is hurt, hurt and more hurt. Go out and make yourself happy. Meet new people, make new friends. You may meet your soul-mate. There is that distinct possibility that you may just meet the woman of your dreams and it may not be your ex… . live, laugh and love. its what Lesbians do.

February 28, 2013 at 9:00 pm
(5) patrice says:

Its so crazy, because I am going through an experience JUST like this with my ex. I agree with what the other ladies said as well. I had to accept that you cannot force someone to be in the same place you are mentally and emotionally. Nothing that happened between two people is one person’s fault. And if only one person is willing to own up to their faults and make it work, then its not going to work. So I advise you the same thing I did myself….accept the situation, continue to work on improving your wonderful, talented self. All you need to be happy rests solely within you. Also, I wouldn’t sweat the fact that your ex is seeing someone new. Sounds like that situation has rebound written all over it. People are attracted to confidence, and EVERYONE enjoys a good chase. DO YOU BOO!!!!

February 28, 2013 at 9:17 pm
(6) patrice says:

This situation is eerily close to one I’m going through with my ex currently. I’ll advise you what others advised me and what I learned myself. You have to accept the situation and try to let your ex be happy. Its the hardest thing you may do, but it will set you free. I say that getting back together only works if both people are willing to own up to their faults and commit to working it out. Remember that NOTHING that happened between two people is one person’s fault. Concerning the new lover on your ex’s behalf, I wouldn’t sweat that. It has rebound written all over it. For you though, continue to enjoy your new job, and be your beautiful, talented and wonderful self. People are attracted to confidence, and you may attract someone who it will actually work out with. Don’t sweat the small stuff because life is too short. DO YOU BOO!!!

March 2, 2013 at 6:19 pm
(7) jet says:

no u can’t it want work – belive me i know- i was with my ex for 9 yrs – 7 of which we live together – we where apart for 4 – the last 2 we didn’t speak – bout 8 months ago we strated seeing each other again – she moved n with me – we where out with family and friends and we ended up getting married one night – she moved in – this was sept 23- she moved out feb 24th -u just can’t go backwards it want work – move forward- i learned a hard lesson -

March 9, 2013 at 5:34 am
(8) Hannah says:

I’m in the same position – hoping to get back with my ex. But what have I done about it? I’m currently spending a year out in Australia and experiencing the world. Sure, I miss her (and recently started to talk to her a lot more over Facebook) but I’m not worrying about what will be until I get back into the UK, where we have already agreed to meet up with each other and do some catching up. Either we’ll enjoy that day and perhaps end up seeing a lot more of each other again, or we wont. You’ve got to live for yourself too.

March 11, 2013 at 7:53 am
(9) Sylvia says:

Only “IF” some good luck would have it….otherwise, I don’t think this would work out. My honest advise is that you should go your own way. If your ex is dating someone else, it would be more disastrous and add on to your miseries. I think you should not allow such things to happen. I wish you GOOD LUCK.

March 29, 2013 at 10:48 am
(10) TJ says:

I’m sorry jet but I have to disagree with you, I got back with my ex after 20 years of separation and we’re now very happily married and have a fantastic relationship (that was 8 years ago)! We separated when we were in our late teens after a 3 year relationship, we went our own ways and then got back together at his mum’s funeral (I had always kept in touch and visited her even though we were separated).

At the time of the funeral I thought my ex was still with his wife (super bitch), but I didn’t care, I was going to the funeral to pay my last respects to his mum, as it turned out he and his wife had been separated for a year or so and he made a bee line for me immediately, we’ve never looked back since!

April 9, 2013 at 11:13 pm
(11) payday Loans says:

But again, this something of a misguided perception.
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even owe. Reason behind of it is that there is no delay in approving the finance for which you wish.

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