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Lesbian Online Dating Tips

An Expert Offers her Advice


Lesbianlife Guide Kathy Belge interviews her sister Mary Belge.

Since I’ve been in a relationship for fourteen years and have not had to opportunity to date online, I asked my sister Mary, also a lesbian, with lots of online dating experience for some advice.

KB: Where is the best place to meet women online?

MB: There are many internet dating sites and new ones seem to pop up all the time. Some people like Match.com. You can also check out Butch-Femme if you are into butch/femme roles, although this site is a bit harder to navigate.

KB: What are some things to consider when placing an ad?

MB: First and foremost: Check your spelling and grammar! Nothing is more of a turn-off than a poorly written ad. Be positive. Don't go on and on about what you don't want. Avoid clichés- everyone is looking for someone honest and with a good sense of humor! Write an eye-catching title. And, include a picture. Sites with photos get many more hits.

KB: What do you look for when responding to an ad?

MB: Personally, I look for someone who lives within 10 miles of my location, someone with similar political views, in my age range, and other things that might catch my eye like a similar interest in books or movies. I also always look at photos.

KB: How do you decide who it's safe to give you phone number to?

MB: I always correspond through email or instant messenger before talking to someone on the phone. I can usually get a sense if I want to continue correspondence after an email or two. I usually don't give out my phone number until I'm planning to meet someone- so they can let me know if they chicken out or are going to be late.

KB: Do you ever meet without speaking on the phone first?

MB: Sometimes, although hearing someone's voice and their level of comfort chatting on the phone can be a good indication if you'll have anything to talk about once you meet in person.

KB: What insures that a meeting in person will go smoothly?

MB: NOTHING! There is no insurance here. Although it helps if you have things or friends in common to talk about. I have at least one story that I almost always tell on the first date. It's a humorous 'nightmare' dating story. Actually, I have a few of those. It’s good for a laugh.

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