Since I’ve been in a relationship for fourteen years and have not had to opportunity to date online, I asked my sister Mary, also a lesbian, with lots of online dating experience for some advice.
KB: Where is the best place to meet women online?
MB: The best place to meet woman online is through Planet Out At this site you can tell people how "out" you are,
whether you smoke or not, your drinking behavior, your political views, and
there is a lot of space for narratives. (Some sites just have you check off
boxes of categories you might fit into.) You can also identify as Lesbian,
Bi, queer, trans, butch, femme, or all over the map. Check it out. It is
more queer-friendly than some other sites. You can also check
out Butch-Femme if you are into butch/femme roles,
although this site is a bit harder to navigate. Some people like Yahoo!
personals, and Match.com.
KB: What are some things to consider when placing an ad?
MB: First and foremost: Check your spelling and grammar! Nothing is more of a
turn-off than a poorly written ad. Be positive. Don't go on and on about
what you don't want. Avoid clichés- everyone is looking for someone honest
and with a good sense of humor! Write an eye-catching title. And, include
a picture. Sites with photos get many more hits.
KB: What do you look for when responding to an ad?
MB: Personally, I look for someone who lives within 10 miles of my location,
someone with similar political views, in my age range, and other things that
might catch my eye like a similar interest in books or movies. I also
always look at photos.
KB: How do you decide who it's safe to give you phone number to?
MB: I always correspond through email or instant messenger before talking to
someone on the phone. I can usually get a sense if I want to continue
correspondence after an email or two. I usually don't give out my phone
number until I'm planning to meet someone- so they can let me know if they
chicken out or are going to be late.
KB: Do you ever meet without speaking on the phone first?
MB: Sometimes, although hearing someone's voice and their level of comfort
chatting on the phone can be a good indication if you'll have anything to
talk about once you meet in person.
KB: What insures that a meeting in person will go smoothly?
MB: NOTHING! There is no insurance here. Although it helps if you have things
or friends in common to talk about. I have at least one story that I almost
always tell on the first date. It's a humorous 'nightmare' dating story.
Actually, I have a few of those. It’s good for a laugh.
