Since Ive been in a relationship for fourteen years and have not had to opportunity to date online, I asked my sister Mary, also a lesbian, with lots of online dating experience for some advice.
KB: Where is the best place to meet women online?
MB: There are many internet dating sites and new ones seem to pop up all the time. Some people like Match.com. You can also check
out Butch-Femme if you are into butch/femme roles, although this site is a bit harder to navigate.
KB: What are some things to consider when placing an ad?
MB: First and foremost: Check your spelling and grammar! Nothing is more of a
turn-off than a poorly written ad. Be positive. Don't go on and on about
what you don't want. Avoid clichés- everyone is looking for someone honest
and with a good sense of humor! Write an eye-catching title. And, include
a picture. Sites with photos get many more hits.
KB: What do you look for when responding to an ad?
MB: Personally, I look for someone who lives within 10 miles of my location,
someone with similar political views, in my age range, and other things that
might catch my eye like a similar interest in books or movies. I also
always look at photos.
KB: How do you decide who it's safe to give you phone number to?
MB: I always correspond through email or instant messenger before talking to
someone on the phone. I can usually get a sense if I want to continue
correspondence after an email or two. I usually don't give out my phone
number until I'm planning to meet someone- so they can let me know if they
chicken out or are going to be late.
KB: Do you ever meet without speaking on the phone first?
MB: Sometimes, although hearing someone's voice and their level of comfort
chatting on the phone can be a good indication if you'll have anything to
talk about once you meet in person.
KB: What insures that a meeting in person will go smoothly?
MB: NOTHING! There is no insurance here. Although it helps if you have things
or friends in common to talk about. I have at least one story that I almost
always tell on the first date. It's a humorous 'nightmare' dating story.
Actually, I have a few of those. Its good for a laugh.