I am in my late 30s, divorced for a couple of years and have one son. I began a graduate program last fall and I met a woman She happens to be a professor and I felt attracted to her.
I never have felt that way about a woman. I have always been attracted to men and had a good childhood. Anyway, I questioned my feelings a year ago. It was very short term, and didn't' think much more about it.
Now here it is my second year of graduate school and she is a professor of mine. Every time I am in class with her I feel a sexual attraction. I know she is in a relationship and has been for some time. They have a home and a business together, but I made eye contact with her several times and she did the same. I am trying to see beyond my own feelings and not transfer my feelings onto her.
Anyway, we have chatted on e-mail about professional and educational things. This feels awkward... Suggestions??
Signed,
Anonymous
Here's my advice for Anonymous
First of all, having a good childhood or not has nothing to do with being a lesbian or bisexual. Lesbians and bisexuals come from all kinds of families. More and more evidence suggests that people are born gay or bisexual and that our upbringing has nothing to do with it.
Now to your dilemna...
My suggestion is to enjoy the crush and the feelings it is bringing up, but not to go further with it. She is your professor and this could spell all kinds of trouble for her if it were to go any further, not to mention her partner and your family.
I think we can get crushes on people and not have to do anything about it. I think it's healthy and normal to have crushes on professors or people who inspire us. Plus, it makes you do better in that class!
Now, if you think this means you are bisexual and you want to explore that part of yourself, then go ahead and do that, just not with her!
Do you have a love or relationship question you need advice on? Drop me a line, lesbianlife.guide@about.com or check out the Lesbian Life Forum to get a wide range of opinions.
