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Lesbian Coming Out Story: Kara

A Mormon Comes Out

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I grew up in a Mormon household. Dad played the man of the house role and stepmom played the barefoot and pregnant role. She did everything he ever asked. Right down to serving him dinner in front of the TV to rubbing his "hardworking back" daily.

I know what you are thinking stepmom? Where is birth mom? She is a story all her own but the short version is she was a "Jack Mormon" a rebel mormon of sorts. Although she still believed in the principle of the church she had a hard time fallowing all the rules. Hence the reason they divorced and the reason Dad justified it.

Kara Marries Young

I married (a mormon man) at 19 like any good mormon girl would. I had hoped all I needed was just to be "loved right". At the time I tried not to entertain the thought of anything relating to being gay. Soon after marriage I found that neither of us were interested and soon even slept in different rooms. This went on for two years. Don't get me wrong we were the best of friends and everything seemed ok.

Kara Discovers Women

One day by mistake I rented a movie with a lesbian theme. OOPS! That was a mormon "No No." But out of curiosity and boredom I watched it anyway. The movie was "Kissing Jessica Stein". Looking back, not the best movie made, but at the time, in denial, it peeked an interest in me. Of course it was not because I was "that way".

On the back of the box was a list of movies one might like if they liked that one. A chain effect moved me through every lesbian movie made. Sooner or later I realized, I was feeling things I never had before. I was in fact, obsessed.

Kara Meets her First Love

Although as a mormon wife I was not allowed to work I was allowed to go to school. After all why not have well educated baby makers? At school was a girl who was obviously gay. I went out of my way to meet her and become friends. Soon it became more.

Kara's First Lesbian Kiss

As soon as that first kiss hit I knew. There was no doubt. I am a lesbian. Well like all lesbian relationships it progressed fast. I was infatuated. Mostly with that fact that she was a girl and I loved kissing her. We did all the girly things, love letters, flowers, etc. Eventually my husband noticed a difference. He went through a few of my things in my room and found a letter from her. At that point there was no return.

Kara is Found Out

Before I got home he told my parents. And at home there was an intervention waiting for me. I was scared, very scared. My father pulled me in the garage and spilled out a scene to the effect that what I was doing was ugly and god would never forgive or love me for it. He became outraged by my silence and grabbed my arm and a box knife. In a quick second I had a gapping wound four inches long. He said it was an outward expression of the ugliness inside me. The very next morning was moving day for me.

Family Disowns her

My husband and I were on good terms. He even helped me get set up in my own place. But I never saw my family again. I have younger brothers and sisters as young as five. I will never see grow up. But I know who I am. I know even when I look at my large scar I am a wonderful and honest person. Even as the two year anniversary of this event comes up. I can hold my head high and know I am true to myself. I have a great life and a wonderful partner.

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