From Kathy Belge,
Your Guide to Lesbian Life.
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Kimberly and her husband

I have been with my husband for twenty-six years, married nineteen of those. We were each other’s closest friends, then becoming first loves. I came out to him at sixteen. I was honest, and he suspected already. He and I trust each other incredibly, that's what worked for me; utmost trust, risking rejection, but then acceptance. He received it well, knowing that I'm with no one else but one womyn when there's one in my life. He doesn't need to know any details, but that we are best friends, he is not interested. Guys almost always easily accept the phrase, "it's just a girl thing." It's a usual statement close female friends, even as little girls, may say.

I am still with him and I have my "best friend" as well. I have safe sex with her and I masturbate when I'm feeling her but she’s not around. Oh, my husband? We don't do sex. He'll jerk it, release and then there's peace. She is married also, but she often forgets that we're married, forgetting about our circumstances that we were already aware of from the beginning.

What Works and What Doesn’t

What didn't work with him or for me? She was causing too much stress at the start and I fed into it. There was tension and drama into my home and my family was affected. Now, that's incorrect. All of you respectable ladies trying your dammest in keeping your marriage together and to maintain your family, especially if you have children in spite of the "other" you, do NOT tolerate her drama penetrating your family. If you are in a similar situation and can't reach a happy medium, get out of it ASAP!

I know you ladies understand when I say that we love our husbands/families. Be patient, be prepared for ups and downs. Your husbands may be okay with, kiss you then say okay. Where's the beef? Some husbands will put you through hell and then some. Feel this out deep within you. If you can't come out to your husband immediately, give hints periodically, practice telling him with a friend, and then the ball's (literally) in his court. If he loves you, he will continue to. He'll want you to still be his wife, and accept you exploring and being your other you.

Always remember that somewhere out here, there is support and you can start here.

Blessings,
Kim

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