Being outed can be scary. It did not happen the way you planned, if you planned on coming out at all.
What do you do if you are Outed?
Usually when someone plans to come out, they spend a lot of time thinking about what they are going to say, how they are going to bring up the topic and how they will respond to different scenarios. When you are outed, suddenly the choice is no longer yours. Here's some things you can do:
Just because someone revealed your sexual orientation, does not mean that you have to admit to it. If the situation does not feel safe to you, you always have the right to deny it. Coming out can be a very liberating process, but for some people it can mean being fired from their job or kicked out of their home. If you think that might happen to you, you can always play it safe and deny the allegations. Staying in the closet is not easy, but it is still an option.
Ask yourself, what impact will being outed have? Does your job have a non-discrimination clause that bans discrimination based on sexual orientation? Are there other gay and lesbian kids in your school? Do your parents have gay or lesbian friends? These are all factors that might determine how your community will react.
You don't have to deal with this alone. Get advice from your friends, therapist or other trusted people in your life. While you might feel like it's the end of the world, they can probably see the whole picture from a more neutral point of view.
Perhaps you were planning on coming out anyway. Now might be a good time to do that. Some people actually find being outed liberating, because they felt they no longer had to hide who they really are. Remember, you can take no action at all.
Although it might be hard to imagine right now, tell yourself that This too shall pass. Things might be hard for a while, but they will get better. People will come around, or they will not. You cannot control what other people's reactions will be. All you can control is your own behavior and reactions.
After you look at your situation, you may decide that coming out is the best way to handle the situation. Here are some resources for coming out:
