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Why Are Women Lesbian?


Question: Why Are Women Lesbian?
I am a straight male and love women. I was trained in college by a lesbian, so I could make my women happy. What I have never quite understood is, are lesbians lesbians because they just have never had a male partner that could satisfy them or is it hormonal, they just are drawn to other women?
Curious Straight Male

Dear Straight Guy,

I am sure you meant your question in purest sincerity, so I will try not to be offended by it. It’s just that I don’t understand why so many men think women are gay simply because a man could not satisfy them. Being a lesbian actually has nothing to do with men. It has to do with women: Our love, attraction, sexual desire and affection for other women.

There are plenty of straight women out there who have had bad experiences with men or have partners who cannot satisfy them. Do they turn lesbian? They may joke about it, and I’m sure some right wing zealots will disagree with me, but you cannot change your sexual orientation.

Why Are You Straight?

Turn the question around on yourself? Are you straight because you never had man satisfy you? If this question sounds ridiculous to you, then you’ll understand how ridiculous your question sounds to me.

Also, your question assumes that being a lesbian has to do with sex and sex only. Think about your relationships. Hopefully they are about more than sex. They are about falling in love, physical and emotional attraction, who you wish to spend your time with, make a home and a life with. We call it "sexual orientation," but really it is about much more than that.

I am glad a lesbian "trained" you in college. She may have given you some bedroom tricks, but it’s too bad she didn’t explain to you what being a lesbian is really all about. But feel free to spend some time on this site, especially reading lesbian coming out stories and hopefully you’ll come away with a better understanding of what it means to be a lesbian.

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