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Dating Out of Your League

How to Attract Women Out of Your League


Lesbian self-confidence

Lesbian self-confidence

Updated August 29, 2012
Dear Emily,

My friends think I am nuts because I go after chicks that are out of my league. I'm kind of broke and I know that I am a bit overweight and do not have the face of a super model. I do think I am charming, funny, understanding, compassionate and most of all, confident. I am strong in my opinions on what I want and who I want. And I want a gorgeous woman with long flowing hair and a tight body! Just saying! I consider myself a perfect five, but I feel like a perfect ten mostly due to how I was raised in a very loving and positive family. Is ignorance bliss or are my friends telling the truth when they tell me I am dating out of my league?

Over Confident in Omaha

Dear Over Confident,

Well, your friends are probably telling you the truth as they see it. They think you are dating out of your league and they clearly wish they knew your secret.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so many people find different qualities attractive. The truth of the matter is that confidence and optimism are sexy. We know instantly when someone walks into a room and emotes a series of “hey baby” and “I will rock your world.” This confident gal is the one that leaves us scratching our heads and wondering how she scored the hottest bitch in the bar. I cannot stress enough that looks have nothing to do with sex appeal. Have you ever seen an incredibly attractive female and when you spoke to her she became very ugly because of her terrible attitude and clear lack of self-esteem?

When people have deep insecurities, which usually materialize in the form of complaints, stress and worry, it is easy to spot and energetically we sense something is wrong with them and we turn the other cheek. Insecure women have the world wrapped around them, no one else exists and they are very focused on their own lives. This is the reason they are so insecure. The fact that you have this confidence for being a self-proclaimed five means you are one of the lucky ones!

Although a difficult task for most of us, it is important to try and see equality with everyone. We don’t want to see an individual as “less than” or “more than” who we are. We are all the same. And it is true intelligence for those that see themselves as equal to everyone. It takes discipline, understanding, self-analysis, introspection and incredible presence to not place others above or below us.

Confidence is the great aphrodisiac, but being overly confident is a major turn-off. Keep being your true self and you can never go wrong because along with confidence, one of the sexiest attributes in a person is vulnerability and self-reflection.

Emily Wilcox is a lesbian advice columnist and author of 100 Lesbians Walk Into a Bar.... Follow her at @100lesbians on Twitter

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