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Why Can't I Meet a Feminine Lesbian?

One Femme wants to meet others

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Hi, my name is Danielle and I'm very depressed and confused right now. I came out about five years ago at the age of 39. I left my husband because I've always been attracted to women and not men. My coming out was very hard on my family, my children and of course my husband, but I knew I had to stop living a lie and that eventually being with the woman of my dreams was all worth it.

But after five years in the lesbian community, I'm starting to regret coming out of the closet. Since I was a little girl, I've always fantasized about beautiful, feminine women (I'm feminine myself) and when I came out, I imagined that the lesbian community was filled with beautiful, attractive women. The same type of women that I see every day at work or in other social gatherings.

Where are all the Femmes?

But I must say that I am very disappointed. Most feminine women I meet are either straight or bisexual and most lesbians I meet are masculine and unattractive. They are also frequently overweight (not always), makeup is like kryptonite to them, they smoke, drink too much, are frequently unfaithful and sleep with ex-girlfriends and many have weird psychological issues like violent behaviors.

I'm telling myself, what's the use of having left a man to be with a bunch of women who look, act and smell like men? Gay guys have access to plenty of handsome masculine gay men who look like men. Why don't I have access to beautiful, feminine lesbians? Where are they hiding? Where can I meet them if they exist? I'm convinced that there would be much more lesbians if the community was filled with beautiful women and not mullet sporting, flannel wearing, chain smoking dykes. -
Mirror Image

Dear Mirror Image,

At first I was a bit insulted by your letter. Go back and read it again and see if you can see why I felt that way. I can understand your frustration at not finding a woman you are compatible with, but why must you insult other lesbians in the process?

I know everyone has a type that they are attracted to. Feminine women float your boat, and that is just fine. But to say that butch women look and smell like men is just plain mean. And why are you discounting bisexuals?

It sounds to me like you are hanging out in places where dysfunctional lesbians congregate. Yes, the lesbian bar is often a place with lots of drinking, smoking and high drama. I don’t think it’s always the best place to start a relationship. You don’t tell me where you are looking. Try some of these places to meet lesbians.

Where to meet feminine lesbians

Just because you haven’t found a feminine woman, doesn’t mean they are not out there. Have you tried internet dating? Read through these comments and see how many women met their girlfriends through online dating services.

I don’t know where you live, but I would suggest checking out Dinah Shore or Girlbar in Los Angeles next year. The crowd may be a bit younger than you are, but trust me, the hot sexy feminine girls are everywhere.

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