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Is She Into Me?

Lesbian Dating Question


I’m 35 and I’ve been out for a year now. I can't say it was easy but it wasn't as difficult as I thought. Mid last year, I made friends with this other lesbian at a wine tasting seminar and we remained very much in contact, chatting on msn, calling each other and meeting sometimes. She was showing me the scene!

But these last couple of months it has become more regular. Like saying good morning everyday on msn, couple of sms during the day and we’re meeting couple of times a week.

I want more from her

She, is a very nice person and I’m finding myself wanting to share with her more, simple things like a good film at the cinema, new restaurant round the corner.

I had a very bad day at work and she popped in for a coffee, ten minutes max, but it felt good. She called this evening to see how I was. We’re becoming very important to each other.

Well, I’m so new at this. I haven’t been attracted to someone in ages and can’t read the signs. Am I misunderstanding the signs or is this heading somewhere?

Is She Into You?

Dear Helga:

This is a very common lesbian dilemma, believe it or not! Lesbians, meet, start hanging out as friends and then one (or both) of you develop feelings. How do you move it from friendship to the next level?

Brace yourself, because it involves a risk. You've got to put yourself out there. It doesn't have to be some big heavy processing conversation. When the time feels right, just ask her, "What's going on here?" "Are these dates?" "I'm feeling something here, are you?"

Then sit back and see how she answers. I think sometimes we can be attracted to someone and not even realize it until someone else brings it to our attention. Maybe you just need to give her that little nudge.

And if she does just want to be friends, don't despair. You're really not losing anything here. You've still got your good friend.

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