Lesbian Relationship Coach and match-maker Dr. Frankie Bashan has these tidbits:
- Savor Every Moment. Don’t be that cliché lesbian couple that rushes from dating to moving in to marriage to searching for sperm donors! Take your time! The honeymoon period is a wonderful, beautiful, thrilling, but fleeting phenomenon and one NOT to be rushed through! You’ve got the rest of your natural lives to settle into the routine of a stable relationship. Enjoy every moment of crushing out on your new girl-don’t jump the gun by rushing the onset of reality.
- Recognize Appropriate boundaries. When you’re dating someone special and falling for her hard, don’t be the girl who drops off the face of the earth. Make an effort to maintain friendships and other important relationships. No one appreciates a fair weather (aka: single and unattached) friend. Don’t allow yourselves to merge lives prematurely. There will certainly be some overlap as you progress through your relationship, but maintain independent activities, friendships and spend some time apart. Make sure you continue to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. It takes two healthy people to sustain a healthy and balanced relationship.
- Believe what you see. As Oprah says, when someone shows you who they are-believe them. It’s typical human behavior to idealize someone that you’re interested in. We all want to see the best in a potential new mate. In order to do this we project our fantasy onto our living, breathing new girlfriend. But love can blind us so be cognizant of red flags. Don’t make excuses for your girlfriend’s behavior if it seems inappropriate, and trust your gut.
Mary G. Malia is the “Gay Girl Dating Coach.” She’s helped many lesbians navigate the world of lesbian dating. Here’s what she has to say:
- No more instant coffee relationships - ie. boil, stir and drink! Go for the slow roasted, slow drip brand of relationship. Deeper flavor, richer taste notes and long lasting good feelings!
- Re-write the story of my life. Dump the sad, woe is me, my life is to hard story and create a story of triumph, fun, laughter and joy because problems are a sign of life! And both life itself and my problems are FOR me and not against me!
A Femme in NYC, a relationship blogger offered her own lesbian dating resolutions for 2012.
- I solemnly vow to stay away from geriatric butches (60+).
- I plan to say yes more often. Meaning that if a butch asks me out on a date and is relatively sane, I will accept.
Michelle, a reader of Lesbian Life said:
My serious New Year’s Resolution is to allow my heart to be open to loving someone new. I have been holding a flame for my best friend who is also a lesbian, for the past two years, I have been deeply in love with her, was afraid to tell her with the fear of being rejected. I finally worked up the courage to tell her in October and my fears did come true, I was rejected, she only loves me as a friend, but we are still very close. So after two years of failed relationship after relationship because I believe I was allowing my secret love for my best friend to get in the way of developing a relationship with anyone else.
What about you? What are your dating resolutions?