My girlfriend and I have only been together about six months and we already seem to have encountered "bed death." She's been out since she was 17 and I, for the most part, am not out. She's had numerous girlfriends/sexual encounters. This is my first lesbian relationship. I'm a "lone star lesbian" and I need some help.
In the beginning, she was very affectionate, and physical with me, and now I have to ask her to come cuddle with me or get a good night kiss. After a frustratingly long stretch of time without sex, I brought it up and she told me not to wait for her to initiate. So I don't. I try to get her interested, drop hints, etc. and it’s usually worth my time.
However, after she comes, she is so doped up on hormones she can barely get out of bed to pee, much less return the favor. I've learned to bring her my way first, which is in my favor, but I get turned on faster when I'm turning her on then when she starts from scratch. (She's been known to get bored.) I haven't been able to balance turning her (and myself) on to the point that we can switch, and frequently I have found myself getting the short end of the stick. Any suggestions?
Frustrated Femme
Cure for Lesbian Sex Problem
Dear FF,Sex is all about giving and taking, sharing intimacy, love, lust and passion. It shouldn’t be, “Do me and then I’ll do you.” That gets old pretty quickly. I suggest you find ways to spice things up. Since she seems to tire after orgasm, how about you spend some time getting her excited, but stop before orgasm and focus on your needs. Then go back to her after you’re satisfied.
Or, since you seem to enjoy getting her off, after she’s spent, you can pick up a vibrator and take care of your own business while she watches. (That can be super sexy.)
Or, you can decide that tonight is “your” night. Everything about lovemaking has to be about you and what you want. The next time, it can be “her” night.
It sounds like you’ve fallen into a routine and that can get boring--whether it’s your exercise routine, the route you take to work or how you maneuver in the bedroom.
And remember, while orgasms are nice, they aren’t the end-all and be-all of sex. I’m sure you’ve figured out plenty of ways to have an orgasm by yourself. Sex is about sharing yourself with another person. Talk to her about your needs. Find out what her desires are. Be open to trying new things. You will both benefit in the long run.
