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Lesbian Sex Questions: Fisting

How to Deal with the Emotions After


Lesbian Sex Questions Answered by sexuality expert Felice Newman, author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us. Our first question involves fisting and the emotions associated with such an intimate sexual act.

My partner and I tried fisting last night. She had done this with her other partners before so I knew she liked to do this. I was kinda curious so I finally decided we could try it. It hurt which I expected, but after a certain point it started to feel good. My partner was very supportive and attentive making sure if I was OK or needed to stop and stuff like that. She was also very supportive afterwards and telling me she was proud of me for trying something new and thanked me for letting her do it. She kept telling me she loved me and held me and all that one would want and expect.

But I felt really mixed emotions about the whole act. I am not sure if it is just the stigma of a women being loose that do things like that or what it is. I know one of the fears is I don't want her to think differently of me in a bad way or something like that. Is this normal to feel mixed feelings like this after trying something so major????

From Felice Newman author of the Whole Lesbian Sex Book:

Good for you for trying something new!

Fisting is deep sex. It touches us deeply – both physically and emotionally. Having another’s hand inside you is a very powerful experience. It can be fabulously hot, resulting in elongated moments of bliss and intense orgasms. It can also leave you feeling vulnerable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – it’s a human thing. As I said, you’ve been touched. Deeply.

Those mixed emotions, those doubts, the fear of being stigmatized – all those emotions were there already: your honey’s hand just stirred the pot (literally) and brought it all to the surface. I see that as a good thing. Next time, use even more lube (it shouldn’t hurt!), and ask your partner to repeat all the loving things she said to you after your first time. You have a great partner. Supportive, attentive, loving, reassuring and wanting to take you to new places. Go for it!

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