Coach Sherri Murrell on Being an Out Lesbian Head Coach

How does homophobia affect, not just the queer kids. How does it affect the team, individuals?

Sports is a unique situation. For us, we have 15 ladies on the team that are all going for one goal. They all want to win. You have to check your politics at the door. I don’t care if you’re gay. I don’t care if you’re Black. I don’t care if you’re this or that. We have a common goal and we have to get after it. We’ve all got to come together. Maybe straight players wonder why is this such an issue? It separates. It divides. You hear about programs where there is a division between white players and black players, even today. If you accept and tolerate those kind of things, you’ve going to have divisions. And you’ve got to come together to win ballgames. It’s real important. That’s what all these coaching books are about, team unity. You can’t promote divisions. And homophobia is s divider.

This is your first time being out as a coach, right?

Yeah, publically. We were on Comcast Sports (TV) for our Big Sky Championships. I have four month old twins. The announcer was on and asking me questions and she said, “I understand you just had twins.” I said, “Yeah, my partner just had them.” She asked, “Is this okay to talk about on the television?” And I said yes! It’s no big deal. It’s such a non-issue for me and it’s such a non-issue for the people around me.

What kind of reactions have you gotten from administration, players, parents?

Administration: Athletic Directors are risk management people who want to see the program succeed. I’ve had nothing but support. I did speak to my AD and my president and vice provost of my school when I was deciding to go and speak to Dee on this DVD. The president emailed and he said, Sherri strives to be what Portland State is, which is acceptance of all diverse backgrounds. I mean wow! I printed it out. How amazing did that make me feel! It’s so amazing to have that kind of support.

Players: Like I said it’s such a non-issue. They don’t look at me as the lesbian coach, they look at me as Coach Murrell is THE coach. They’ve been awesome. They babysit my children.

Parents: Unbelievable. They showered us with baby gifts. Parents have come into my home. We have dinners. It hasn’t been an issue with recruiting.

I think the bottom line is being are true to yourself. Honesty is lost virtue. I have not had one negative response. Now, are coaches in the stands buzzing around and saying things about me? I don’t know. But the coaches in my conference have been very supportive.

Again, if people start negative recruiting towards me, then they don’t really have enough good things to say about their program.

As it should be, but here you are the first, ground breaking… it’s kind of crazy isn’t it?

Every time you say that I just crack up. It’s all over our sport.

And then the only time you hear about it is like Pokey Chapman having inappropriate relationships with players.

Right. And that’s why I’m okay with this right now. Because it is so positive. Unfortunately it’s the controversial things that make the mainstream media.

What is your hope that you will accomplish by being out?

There’s a lot of young coaches that I talk to. I look to the older generation of coaches and they just couldn’t come out. I don’t think there was non-discrimination laws out back then. I see myself as the middle generation of coaches. (She’s 41)

There’s the younger generation of coaches that come up to me and say, you’re my role model. You give us hope. I hope to do that. They can see the positive effects of this.

I also hope that through this DVD we can get to Athletic Directors. I’m sure they have a convention. Maybe I can speak at a forum there and just say here’s what my A.D. and what my president has done for me and here is the positive effect to my program. We’ve had nothing but incredible positive experiences. I don’t look at myself as a pioneer or an advocate, but hopefully the success story of my career and the success here at Portland State can be its own advocate.

When Rene Portland was a coach, did you know of her policy?

I didn’t know it was a policy, but there was rumblings that she was very vocal about not wanting lesbians on her team. I didn’t know that she actually had it written. Unbelievable.

Are there coaches out there now with those policies?

Not that I know of, but I do know there are coaches that say I do not want that on my team. The only thing that I don’t wish is that we don’t have relationships on the team.

I was just going to ask you about that. It affects the whole dynamic of the team. How do you deal with that when you’re trying to be supportive of someone being gay and yet you don’t want to sacrifice the team?

It’s tough. It’s all over the country. Coaches gay and straight are dealing with this topic. The girls on my team know that I discourage it. But at the same time, love is love. If someone falls in love, who am I? I’m not going to be out there saying you can’t love this person. But the thing that I can do is manage. If I find out two players are together on my same team, I’m going to let them know this causes problems. This is another divider. So when we’re on a road trip, everyone has to be professional. Don’t spend 100% of your time with just that person. Don’t divide your self from the team. Be appropriate. Just as if a girl on my team that has a boyfriend. She’s not going bring him on that trip and be with him the whole time. I’d tell her, this is the possible negative effects it can have on you and your team. You’ve got to decide what you’re going to do. But I’m not going to kick her off my team. Straight coaches are dealing with the same thing I’m dealing with.

Maybe it’s easy to hear it coming from you.

Yeah, I think it is. But I have kids in my office talking to me about their boyfriends too. Like I said, it’s just a non-issue.

What about the fans? What can the average sports fan do to combat homophobia in sports?

Obviously support programs that don’t have discrimination. I have never even thought of it from a fan’s perspective. I would hope that anybody that walks through our gym doors, gay or straight that they feel welcome, period.