“Land Ahoy”
Or as I like to call it “Love Boat.”
This week on The L Word some of the girls head out on an Olivia Cruise. Bette & Kit’s father pays them a visit. Tina wins a big award.
Jenny is freaking out
Last week Jenny discovered Mark’s dirty little secret about the hidden cameras. Today she is making her own special film for him. She’s pretending to be a 14-year-old girl and she’s saying things that just pretty much creep me out. Mark wakes up to this and rushes to Jenny’s room to find Jenny standing there naked, except for the words, “Is this What U Want?” scrawled on her chest.
Jenny, this is a really messed up situation and you’ve chosen a really weird way to deal with it. Mark, sensing that Jenny, with all her quirkiness might be the one to accept his idea of “art film” starts talking about the documentary and how she just needs to give him a chance. At least Jenny does not fall for that.
Violated
Jenny just feels violated. She asks Mark if he has any sisters. When he says yes, Jenny says he needs to ask them about the first time they were ever violated by a man or boy. And make sure you really listen to their answers, Mark. Being the sensitive guy he is, doesn’t even think his sisters have been violated. Oh yes they have, Jenny assures him. You go Jenny.
Jenny is taking her power, but how she’s doing it is a little strange, but that’s Jenny. She tells Mark he can’t tell Carmen or Shane about this because it will ruin their vacation. Then she tells him she will decide when he can take his “rapey” cameras down.
Jenny’s Family
Jenny is making a tape for her mother. Again, it scares me a little. She wants to know if her grandmother looked into the eyes of the man who branded her in Auschwitz. Jenny seems a bit on the edge this show. Is she trying to go crazy so she can join Marina at the Funny Farm? Carmen comes in and Jenny tells her she’s not going on the cruise with them. Carmen can’t understand 1. Why Jenny wouldn’t want to go on an Olivia Cruise and 2. Why Jenny is acting so weird.
Shane saves the Cruise
Luckily Shane walks in and when Carmen tells her that Jenny is not going on the cruise, Shane knows exactly which card to play and says, “Then I’m not going either.” With that Carmen starts pouting and finally Jenny agrees to go. Then she starts talking about a threesome. Is Jenny the one to crack this season?
Kit & Benjamin
Benjamin shows up and brings Kit flowers at work. But she’s trying to run a business, Benjamin. God, these people have no respect for each other trying to earn a living! Kit holds off, nice and strong, for a bit, but then agrees to meet him later for dinner that might turn into breakfast in bed. Ick!
The Chart
Alice is on the radio with her new show, “The Chart.” She’s talking about all her friends personal lives in a way I would not want someone broadcasting about me over the airwaves. Her guest is her girlfriend Dana, who is going to talk about her upcoming celebrity appearance on an Olivia Cruise. Dana seems so excited to be there. She interrupts Alice in such an innocent and enthusiastic way. But Alice is not amused.
Later at home Alice is being all pouty and passive aggressive and Dana has no idea what’s wrong. Finally Alice tells Dana that she didn’t appreciate her interrupting her on her radio show. How would Dana like it if Alice came down and tried to tell her how to hit her shots? Now Dana feels bad. But let’s not talk about it, let’s have sex. That will solve everything. Good Lesbians.
Tina and the $5000 gown
Helena is buying Tina a gown for the big awards ceremony. Tina protests that it’s too expensive. So, why did you even try it on, Hon? There are plenty of cheaper dress shops in LA. Maybe she thinks Bette will think she looks hot it it.
The Love Boat
We find out that Alice and Dana have some kind of Love Boat fantasy with Captain Stubing and Julie McCoy from the original Love Boat.
Luggage Check
Dana, Alice, Shane, Jenny and Carmen pile out of the taxi at the airport on their way to the Olivia Cruise. Dana is reluctant to carry her bags on. HMM, what could she have in there? Yep, it’s the new strap on and I’m not even going to describe the hysterical airport scene when the dildo shows up in the x-ray machine. Let me just say, I haven’t laughed like that in a while.
And by the way, there’s no way Dana would have been able to bring four guests on the Olivia Cruise. I have a friend who performs on the Olivia Cruises and even her road manager has to pay her own way.
