Lesbians with Clipboards
It’s Pride Day! Are Alice and Dana acting out another fantasy? No, Alice just has really bad taste. She’s wearing a velour one piece halter top/short combo that I am sure she is going to pop right out of. I think we wore something like that in gym class back in 1972. Yeah, Cindy Brady had one too. Maybe it’s the outfit, but the lesbian with the clipboard is not letting Alice on the Gay & Lesbian Center Float.
Dykes on Bikes
Yea! More real lesbians. Shane and Jenny come running up and ask Alice to ride with the “Motorcycle Lesbians.” You mean Dykes on Bikes? Of course Alice wants to ride with the Dykes on Bikes. Who needs the Gay & Lesbian Center Float anyway? Shane and Alice climb on the backs of some pretty tough looking lesbians and then the engines start revving and I get all excited, like I do when I hear those bikes at Pride. I love the Dykes on Bikes! They’re my favorite part of the parade, except for PFLAG, of course.
Human Rights Campaign
Alice and Dana meet up with Jenny at the Human Rights Campaign booth. They want to know what happened to Howie. She doesn’t know. But the dominatrix woman from the opening scene is there and she invites them all to the party. Will I see you there? She asks Jenny. Maybe, Jenny says, looking all cute in her suspenders. “Well, I love to punish a tease,” her new master responds.
Lesbian Sex Party
Alice and Dana seem intrigued by the sex party, whose theme is “Seven Stations of the Cross.” They’re weighing the pros and cons of going, when Dana notices on the bottom of the invitation in fine print, “Free buffet until six. Chicken wings and tofu.” That seems to seal the deal and the two enter the dungeon. And they just as quickly exit the dungeon. A little too much even for these adventurous girls, I guess. What do you think of S/M? Vote in the Lesbian Life Poll.
More Shane, Less Pride
At the Planet everyone one is grooving down to Carmen spinning the tunes. A strange woman comes up to Jenny and asks her what she’s doing. Celebrating Gay Pride, she says. You mean Gay Shame, the lesbian crone says, because we have more shame (not Shane) than Pride. Jenny thinks she’s right, but turns down a dance. So the weird older lady asks the weird young woman for a kiss. Jenny gives her a kiss and wishes for Happy Pride. Is this one more thing Jenny has to be ashamed of?
Helena and Tina come in and Helena sees a hotty that she knows. Almost immediately she ditches Tina to go dance with her. They’re not exclusive, you know.
Howie Comes Out
You’d think a smart writer like Alice and a big out lesbo tennis star like Dana would know a big homo when they saw one, especially when all the signs are there. I mean leopard print underwear, eyeing guys on the street and Gay Pride jubilation. Yes, Howie is gay. He’s dancing with a cute guy in the Planet and both Alice and Dana seem shocked. He’s known since he was four and only gave Dana such a hard time because she was so scared about it. Well if you’re so out and proud Howie, why do you ask Dana to tell your parents for you? They do say it runs in families. Remember that flashback from last season where Dana’s mom was in love with some cute horse riding girl as a child?
Anyway, Dana must be really happy to be in a big gay family, because she finally leans over and tells Alice she loves her. Whew! I was getting scared there for a moment, and I think Alice was too.
Pandora’s Box
Mark comes in to drop off the key and instead of being glad to see him go, Jenny tells him he’s opened Pandora’s box and now he’s running away like a coward. She dares him to stay and deal with this. Is he really up for the challenge, Jenny?
Jenny decides to go to the dungeon. She’s getting tied up by dominatrix chick, when she starts to have flashbacks. It’s the carnival. She was held down and attacked. She sits up and breaks out of the restraints and tells dominatrix not to touch her. I hope she decides to go to therapy.
Shane takes a risk
Shane approaches Carmen at the DJ booth. She tells her about her dog and her mother and being raised in foster care. Carmen just looks at her. Is she being cold or confused? Tune in next week to find out.
