Shane and the Catholic Church
Shane goes to confession. But she’s not really confessing anything. She wants some sympathy. See, everyone wants something from her. The priest suggests Shane try a church group. Oh, my God! Wouldn’t you just love to see Shane in a church group! But no, Shane refuses to go. She likes the confession booth where, “You don’t have to see the hurt on the other person’s face when they see you can’t be the person they want you to be.”
Breakfast at The Planet
All the girls have gathered for breakfast at the Planet. They’re laughing about Alice and Dana’s hickeys. Oh, I miss the gang all hanging out together. It’s like old times. And then Tina walks in with ice-cold Helena. Bette decides to try out her new nonreactionary skills and invites Tina and Helena to join them. Good job, Bette! Especially when Helena talks about all the sex she and Tina have been having. But the best line of the whole show takes place when Helena tries to get Bette to hang out a little longer with her newest Board member. Kit leans in and whispers under her breath, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I love Kit. Give us more Kit.
Helena invites everyone over later to their new house. No, Helena has found a house, Tina corrects. Bette just smiles and says maybe she’ll stop over if she’s not too tired. Good work, Bette!
Mark gets Creepier
Mark declares to Shane that he is obligated by the Samurai Code to be Shane’s servant now that he saved her ass. Triple Ick!
Jenny & Burr Conner
Jenny is talking with Burr Conner. “I’ve known for a really long time. I’ve fought against it because I knew my family would not approve…” Wait, she’s not talking about being a lesbian. She’s talking about writing. But give her two more seconds. She’ll talk about being gay. See, Jenny is one of these newly out people who just doesn’t get when a little discretion is called for. She starts gushing about her girlfriend and is quickly shown the door by homophobic Burr Conner.
Later she tells Carmen all about it. “Lesbian, lesbian, lesbian,” is whispered in the background. How bizarre! At least there’s no circus vignettes on today’s show!
Gabby and the New Soup (Sous) Chef
Alice is still trying to figure out what she’s going to say at KCRW. She’s got her laptop at the Planet and who should walk in but Gabby. (Alice’s ex.) What brings you to the Planet, Gabby? Gabby’s in love. In love with the new chef. Yes, none other than cute soup chef Laura. It only takes Laura a second to ask how Dana is. Let’s not even speculate.
The Chart
But of course, for Alice seeing Gabby and Laura together only reminds her of “The Chart.” She can’t stop thinking or talking about it, even though there is now a microphone in front of her face and she’s at KCRW. She blathers on and on about the chart and lesbian connections and Monica Lewinsky and it just becomes funny and so you know she got the job. Whew!
At the CAC
It’s board meeting time and Bette is practicing her restraint really well. Helena introduces Ellen (Allen?) Barnes. Bette, how dare you say hardly anyone in the art world knows her work? Everyone seems aghast. Everyone except Ms Barnes. Who seems further impressed to learn that Bette scaled two fences to see her famous Earthworks art installation. She is growning to respect Bette. Then she learns Bette wrote her dissertation on Ms. Barnes’ work. “You were the first person in 18 years to penetrate my anonymity.” Look at Helena’s eyes. Clearly, whatever she had planned for this meeting has backfired. Chalk one up for Bette Porter, art nerd!
The Party
No one wants to go to Helena’s. Helena is bitching to Tina that it’s so rude of people to say they’re going to show up and then not. Instead they all head over to Bette’s and order pizza. Now this is the party I want to be at. They’re all just hanging out and so comfortable. Bette is smiling. I love it when Bette smiles. But you can’t help but notice she’s thinking about the one who isn’t there. Don’t you worry, Bette. I think Tina wishes she were there with you all now too.
