L Word Recap 9
“Late, Later, Latent”
Sex in the shower
It’s this morning in LA. Someone is having sex in the shower. You see only her feet as she gets out to pee. Who is it? Dana and Alice? No, it’s Jenny. And Carmen soon follows, sitting on her lap while she urinates. Kinda gross, Carmen. But Jenny seems to like it, especially when she puts her hand down there. Can you feel that Jenny? From the look on her face, I think she can, Carmen.
Mark is pacing outside the bathroom. He really has to pee. Shane decides to break in and see why the girls are taking so long in the shower. Shane, you of all people should know yet somehow you look surprised to see Jenny and Carmen humping on the toilet. Shane quickly closes the door and tells Mark to pee in the bushes.
Mark’s Movie
Mark is showing his film to the pornography philanthropist. Mark is so earnest and believes this could be a hit at Sundance. Porno guy doesn’t care about Sundance. Where is the fucking pussy? He wants to know. Oh, keep watching, my friend. There’s plenty of pussy tonight.
Dana and Alice are in bed again. Alice really wants Dana to strap it on. Dana is concerned it’s some kind of bisexual thing. Quickly, Alice convinces Dana that real lesbians do like strap on sex. What do you think? Vote in the Lesbian Life Strap on poll.
Tina is in Helena’s bed again. It’s morning, but today she is not being woken in that special way. Today she is woken by Helena on the phone in a tirade with Winnie. You start to see the wheels churning in Tina’s brain. Is this woman psycho or what?
Shane reports for work, a new job. But no, it’s Veronica Bloom. She wants Shane to do her hair for a play she’s in. Shane refuses. “I think you mistook me for one of your little tricks who would let you slap her around and be grateful for the privilege of taking your shit,” Shane says. Maybe, Shane, but you do have to pay the rent. I am not magic, Shane insists. Sorry Shane, you can’t erase the power you have over other people.
Dana and the Dildo
Alice takes Dana dildo shopping. Alice is so suave and comfortable in the sex toy shop and, of course, Dana is mortified. It’s so cute when she sees someone she knows and tries to hide behind her sweater and glasses as Alice just smiles and says, “Let’s get a cock ring.”
Jenny meets with Charlotte Burch and Burr Conner. Burr says that it’s fine for women to be gay, but if a Hollywood actor came out it would be career suicide. Jenny agrees with him. That’s enough to get her the job back of writing his memoir.
Bette & Tina’s Baby
Bette and Tina are at the sonogram appointment. We know where this is leading. They’re both glowing. Sure enough, back at Tina’s apartment, unloading groceries leads to hot, hot sex. Did I mention hot? Bette looks so vulnerable, so hungry. Tina looks so confident. As Bette leaves, she says she knows this does not mean they’re back together. But you can tell she is hoping.
Bette goes to therapy. She tells her counselor sex with Tina was amazing. But it was also sad, because she doesn’t belong to me anymore. Bette cries.
Later Helena shows up at Tina’s apartment ready to take Tina out to dinner. But Tina wants to stay in. She’s found her inner top and she wants to express it. But Helena freaks. She can’t handle it. Tina freaks. Helena leaves. I’d freak too. Tina, what has gotten into you? I won’t suggest it’s the pregnancy hormones. That will put me in the doghouse.
Since Helena is not having luck bossing Tina around, she decided to pay a visit to Bette at the museum and toss some money around. She doesn’t have much luck there either. Cute outfit Bette. I like the low cut shirt/suspenders look on you,
