Carmen & Shane: The Confession
Shane is cutting Mark’s hair. Enter Carmen. She wants to talk to Shane. Mark quickly excuses himself to go turn on the camera. Shane admits it’s hard for her to have Carmen and Jenny all lovey-dovey in her face. Carmen looks delighted to hear that. Then Carmen tells Shane that she and Jenny are just biding time until the real deal comes along. Shane looks delighted to hear this. Then the big confession. Jenny wouldn’t know the real deal if it bit her in the ass. But you and I Shane, we have the real deal. Do they kiss? We do not know.
Mark is Busted, Carmen is Busted
Jenny goes into Mark’s room looking for her Burr Conner DVDs and finds instead a tape marked, “Shane & Carmen: The Love Confession.” This is not good. So many people are in trouble. Jenny is crushed, but she has an appointment to keep with Burr Conner. When she shows up, she can’t hide that she’s been crying and starts to cry again, this time on Burr’s shoulder. Eeew. He’s all sweaty and you’re in that pretty white outfit. Well, not pretty, but white, anyway. Woe is Jenny. “Maybe I’m one of those people who doesn’t deserve to be happy,” she cries at her pity party. Burr takes the bait and decides, even though he doesn’t even know her, even though she has proven twice in his presence that she has really poor boundaries and will inappropriately discuss personal issues, even though he has never told anyone before, to tell Jenny he is gay. But if she tells anyone, “I will have you killed.” I guess we know how Jenny is going to get written off the show.
The return of Ivan
Big TOE Jam guy stands Kit up. Surprise, surprise. She eyes the bottle of wine, but instead decides to go to a 12-step meeting, where she runs into Ivan. Ivan takes Kit out to some harem-looking high class strip club and introduces Kit to his lady lover, the one who despises lesbians and all their drama. And even though she is having an affair with a married man, Kit somehow has the audacity to be upset with Ivan for having a open relationship. She storms out.
Tina decided to forgive Helena and visits her home. She’s shown the rooms Helena has made over for the children. Including one for Tina’s unborn baby. Tina seems a little freaked by this. Plus it’s really gaudy. Then we see Bette hanging the beautiful lesbian-made mobile over the baby’s crib, saying sweetly, “I hope you like it.” Come on Tina, is there even a choice? Drop HELLena now and go running home to Bette, please! If not for you, for the baby. Plus, isn’t Bette way better in bed than Helena?
I have to say, the best thing about The L Word is the portrayal of Alice & Dana’s sex life. It’s so real in that is shows their vulnerability and insecurities and yet is still sexy. Dana is in the bathroom getting ready to give Alice a fashion show. She steps out all awkward in her new harness begging Alice not to laugh. You can see Alice wants to laugh, but then realizes how much Dana must have gone through to get to this point and then realizes how hot she looks. “Who’s laughing,” she says as she gently pulls Dana down onto the bed. The End.
