Jaimie Trueblood/Showtime
Guest Stars: Alan Cumming, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, and approximately 3 minutes of Lauren Lee Smith
Music by ezgirl
Sublimity, Oregon – 1984
Mary, Mother of God, it’s Toni. The back alley lesbian from last week’s episode. And she’s a nun! On a bus with nuns! Reading about lesbian nuns! (For those of you who guessed right about Toni’s calling, you win a Betty album. Lucky, lucky you.) Sister Agatha notices Toni’s lesbianism and they discover what’s under each other’s robes. It’s not the rosary, but it is a form of prayer. Sublime.
Wax
No, not beauty tips, Shane’s new hip-hop, skate rat hair salon. Way rad.
Peabody Productions
Helena visits the Tarot Card Reader again. The cards suggest that she will enter into a business arrangement with a former lover and they will develop a whole new kind of relationship. Ding! (Foreshadowing #507.) You guessed it! Helena hires Tina to oversee her movie venture. Tina accepts because, “Someone in this family needs to make a living.” Ouch! Has Tina become the Bette of Season One? (Foreshadowing #508.) Good to see that all is healthy and happy and well in the BTA (Bette/Tina/Angelica) household.
Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart
Bette the Buddhist is suffering from the Bush administration. Aren’t we all, honey! Evidently, the Republican Lone Rangers feel that Bette’s show, “The Art of Dissent”, is too critical of the government. (What? They can’t handle that my pussy is the ultimate act of patriotism. Some people are so sensitive.) This new McCarthyism has forced Bette to lose her stipend, causing greater financial worry. It’s forcing Tina’s “Petty Bourgeois Anxiety” to surface. Will they be able to afford Angus, their Manny? Stay tuned! Bette even considers auctioning pieces from her private collection, including one by Kiki Smith. (Yea, I’ll give you some financial woes.)
How Do You End a Vicious Cycle?
Using her radio program “The Chart” as an ongoing therapy session, Alice details her psychotropic journey into hell. She explains how anti-depressants led her to slash Dana’s tires and how other SRIs led to hallucinations, Attention Deficit Disorder, a suicide watch. Her manager Ruth (Hello!) notes that although Alice has lessened the number of times she mentions Dana on the show, from 43 to 27, Alice is in danger of being fired. Oh, Alice. How will you end this vicious cycle? When will you come back to us?
Mammograms and Breast Cancer Awareness
Dana is the new poster child for breast cancer awareness. (Just as Bette is the poster child for axis of evil aka the Bush administration awareness. Very very subtle Ilene, but I kind of like it.) We see Dr. Wilson examine Dana’s breast, find the lump, recommend a mammogram, and then, given the results, order a biopsy. (In all seriousness, doesn’t Dr. Wilson have the sexiest voice, such sultry timbre? How I wish my doctor sounded similarly, maybe I would actually make an appointment.) In all seriousness, Dana so accurately portrays how terrifying and dehumanizing the mammogram experience can be. Makes you wonder who was responsible for its design? Although I loathe this story line, I understand its importance.
