I’ve never seen Kate Clinton look hotter. In what I hope and pray is an ongoing role, she plays Bette and Tina’s sex therapist. Evidently, the girls are having trouble post-affair, post-pregnancy, post-reconciliation. At least, I thought they had reconciled, but given the lack of love or lust between them, I’m not so sure. What happened to “No Other Love? Darling, I’m Flying”? (Episode 9 of Season 2. Not that I’ve watched it two thousand times.)
Kate Clinton admonishes the two: “Mama T and Mama B do not make mad passionate love to one another. They make cookies.” She suggests they try a wide variety of healing agents, from ice cubes to a chocolate art kit. (Note to self, Valentine’s Day is coming.) The scene reveals a lot about Bette and Tina’s dynamic, their lesbian sexual dysfunction, as well as their priorities. They are practicing attachment parenting, which leaves little to no room for sexual intimacy. More about attachment parenting to come…
The Planet
At long last, the group dynamic. Comedic gold and, in my opinion, the strength of the show. Carmen exudes gorgeousness, those sultry lips, that lush hair, those fine, um, t-shirts. She and Shane are still together, miracle of miracles. Hey, Shane, what’s up with the bad perm? Aren’t you a hairdresser or something? Shane is about to be introduced to Carmen’s extensive Mexican family, who isn’t aware that Carmen is gay. Shane has decided to act “straight.” Yea, that should be Oscar-worthy. Somehow this leads to a hilarious discussion of vocabulary that describes your vagina. There are quite a few terms I wasn’t aware of or had forgotten. Perhaps, a re-read of The Vagina Monologues is in my future? Tarot Cards? What do you say? Alice who has been noticeably absent makes an appearance and boldly embarrasses herself as well as Dana by sharing Dana’s term of endearment for her vagina. “Peeper”. I call my cat Peeper. Weird.
Cynthia Stevenson, the Social Worker
I first fell in love with Cynthia Stevenson after seeing her in Jodie Foster’s Home for the Holidays. She’s brilliant as Bette and Tina’s bitter, disabled, disturbingly hetero-centric social worker. She shows clear disdain for their parenting decisions, from attachment parenting—“There’s no crib in the household?”—, to Bette’s distaste for baby proofing—“It’s ugly”— as well as Bette’s passionately unemployable passion projects, which leave the couple financially challenged. (I’ll show ya financially challenged.)
The darkest moment of the evaluation occurs when the social worker asks, “What about men? How is Angelica going to know what a man is? How is she going to know what a man smells like, feels like? Will she ever run her cheek up against a scratchy, unshaven face? Play with the little curls on his chest? Or his back?” Groan. Hiss. Waves of nausea. Urge to hurl things at the T.V. The evaluation ends rather abruptly, when maniac Alice, who has literally been chasing after Dana in her car, crashes into the social worker’s van. “Who are you?” asks the social worker. “I’m the baby’s Earth Mother.” “Earth Mother?” “Yea, I don’t believe in God.” There will be a second evaluation, but as the social worker concludes, first impressions are “hard to overcome.” (This Season’s Dramatic Conflict #27)
