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L Word Recap: Season 3, Episode 2

“Lost Weekend”

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L Word Recap: Season 3, Episode 2
Paul Michaud/Showtime

Raised by Melvin
It is the middle of the night. Bette is awake, anxious. She calls to Tina who mumbles a sleepy, “It’s ok, baby.” Six month Angelica is cradled in Mama T’s arms. Bette reveals her fears. “What if I can’t adopt her? What if I can’t find a job that I really love? What if we lose the house? I feel like I don’t have any control over anything. I don’t know what’s going on with us. I don’t know if it’s just all the changes.” Tina sleeps through this revelation. Sobbbbbbb! What is up with you two? Can’t you talk during the daytime?

Their troubles worsen when the social worker arrives for a second interview. Dr. David has been asked to assert that he will be Angelica’s main man. But alas, Dr. David is a big city, “I’m a real man” bigot and homophobe. He doesn’t believe in gay adoption. He thinks that Angelica will suffer from not having a father figure—you remember, that scratchy face, chest curls, hairy back figure. (Oh, right, now I get it! Melvin raised David!) David leaves the house but not before declaring his patriotism, i.e. respect for government officials, especially hetero-centric social workers.

“Eating pussy is the ultimate patriot act.”
Speaking of patriotism, I think I’ve found my life’s work. God Bless America! Bette seeks an answer to her questions and an outlet for her stress. She works on her patriotic pussy passion project. The art dealer with whom she is collaborating inquires about Tina, their relationship. She suggests that Bette consult the work of Dr. Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist and Buddhist philosopher, his book Open to Desire. Bette the Buddhist attends the seminar, while Tina the cyber sex addict solicits online propositions from [Daddy of 2]. Tina! Don’t do it! Let Bette be your Daddy! Maybe Bette is the Daddy of 2? Did Candace get pregnant? That bar girl twink in NY? Will another child emerge from the woodwork? Don’t touch that remote!!

Shane’s Sweet Sixteen
I’m warning you. It’s a painful sight. For so many reasons. Shane in a white 1950s dress, wearing cha-cha heels and hair extensions attending Carmen’s family Quinceanera. Forced to dance with Luis, who has adored Carmen since childhood. Forced to be anything but Shane, all for the woman she loves. There’s something just woefully wrong about this. Even Carmen’s striptease in the kitchen cannot make up for this. Or Carmen’s seductive whispering in Shane’s ear, “I m going to lick you until you come in my mouth a thousand times.” Though, this statement does make me feel a bit better, especially when uttered in Spanish.

Best and Worst
Here are some Bests and Worsts for this episode. I’ll start with Bests:

  • a) the heat between Shane and Carmen, the new dominant couple;
  • b) Alice’s high and low comedy;
  • c) Helena’s Sybil-like change in behavior as well as her buff arms and abs; and
  • d) the conversations and questions that are evoked.

    Questions like, “What will you do/not do for your partner? How far will you go for the one you love? What are your boundaries and limits? How do you establish and ask for what you need? And do we want 100% acceptance from our partners or do we prefer a deeper challenge?”

    And the Worsts:

  • a) the mock speed at which these story lines and characters move;
  • b) the loss of the six months—how did Alice and Helena become such great friends? What the hell happened to Season 2 Bette? Or Tina, Miss “I want to move back into our house and have our baby?”;
  • c) again, Shane, the dykiest character on the show in a creepy creepy dress?;
  • d) the lack of outrage and proper comeback by Bette, Tina, and Kit over David’s homophobia, or that of the social worker? Since when did they need a man to find balance in their life? Some days, I just want all the girls to look into the mirror, repeat, “I love me, I love me, I love me.” Imagine Billy Joel’s song playing loudly in the background, “Don’t go changing to try and please me…I love you just the way you are.”

    Your L Word Homework
    “These are a few of my favorite things.” A friend of a friend of mine refers to oral sex as her “favorite thing.” How do you ask for oral sex? (Did anyone notice the theme and undercurrent of this episode? Episode One was the vagina. Episode Two, oral sex. Episode Three, what will it be?) What terms do you use? Here’s another one: “Can I eat you out?”, which, to be honest, sounds very fast food. Or another friend just says, “Please?” and gestures down south. Points to ponder until next week.

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