I remember March 2nd, 2004 like it was yesterday. I was volunteering at the local community radio station when I heard about Multnomah County's decision to allow same sex couples to marry. I couldn't contain my glee. I jumped up and down and like a little kid who is just told she can have a puppy. Sure, the gay and lesbian marriages in San Francisco got a lot more publicity, but gay marriage did come to my hometown of Portland, Oregon. Beren deMotier has written a moving memoir of those exciting days.
The Excitement Begins
Shortly after San Francisco made history by granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, the county commissioners in Multnomah County, (Portland) followed suit. It was Spring in Oregon, so it was raining, but certainly there was a rainbow this day, leading to the county building, where hundreds of couples made their way to stand in the rain, waiting for marriage licenses. Beren deMotier's partner, Jannine was the first in line. The Brides of March is the story of Beren, Jannine and their three children as they live through the excitement and disappointments of being part history in the making and the culture wars that followed.
A Lesbian Couple in the Making
Like most of us that day, Beren and Jannine were shocked to learn that they would be able to get married in their hometown. Together for 20 years with three children, they really didn't have to stop and think if they wanted to marry. They already considered themselves married, even if the law did not. The Brides of March is the story of one couple, their friends and the political context of the gay marriage battle of 2004. From the elation of the wedding day to the disappointment of election day 2004 and the eventual annulment of the marriages, The Brides of March puts real faces and real stories to the political debates.
deMotier bounces back and forth from the events of the day to moments from her past: meeting her partner, coming out to her parents, her rebellious youth. It adds depth to the story, but at times feels jumpy.
Personal Mixed with Political
What I liked best about The Brides of March is how deMotier mixed the political with the personal. Beren and Jannine are pretty average American moms: dealing with guitar lessons, head colds and toddlers who don't want to sit still -- even long enough for moms to get married. She adds just enough humor to keep what could be a heavy topic readable.
deMotier spends much of the book talking about the kids and her joys and struggles as a stay-at-home lesbian mom. Because of this, this book will especially appeal to lesbian parents. But my fear is, the people who need to read it the most, other average, but straight, parents raising children, who could become our greatest allies if they could see the similarities of their lives with Beren's, will never pick it up.
