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All of My Friends Have Girlfriends--Why Am I the Only Single One?

I'm Jealous of My Friend's Relationships


Single and Alone
Updated August 08, 2012
Dear Emily,

I have been single for a few years and all of my closest friends are in relationships. I am jealous of the fact that they have someone and I don't. It is becoming really hard to be around them because I am always the single lesbian in the bunch. I hate feeling this way because I sound like the angry old lady with five cats. And I am on some dating sites. Is that good?
Single in St. Louis

Dear Single,

Your friends and their relationships can give you an idea of what you want in a partner so use that to your advantage. Change your perspective to view them as what you will soon have and not what you are doomed to be without. In time, it will positively change your outlook. Keep in mind that we will never have the relationship we want until we are truly at peace with being alone. I am sure there are times when your friends envy you for being single. The grass is always greener!

And sure, be on every dating site in the world as long as it makes you happy. But if you are annoyed at the idea of it, you will attract nothing but the same because like attracts like.

Most importantly, do you know what you want in a woman? Looking for a partner without knowing what you are looking for won’t work very well, although, most people do this. If you were shopping for a new car, would you blindly go out and buy one? Imagine all the qualities you are looking for in someone and trust she will come.

Emily Wilcox is a lesbian advice columnist and author of 100 Lesbians Walk Into a Bar.... Follow her at @100lesbians on Twitter

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