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Jealous of her Girlfriend's Ex

She Feels Left Out

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Jealous of Ex-Girlfriend

Jealous of Ex-Girlfriend

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Updated July 04, 2012
Dear Emily,

My girlfriend is very close with her ex. I know they are no longer attracted to each other sexually, but I also know they had a great connection and I feel like I will never measure up. How can I deal with their friendship without feeling left out?

Third Wheel in Thousand Oaks

Dear Third Wheel,

Her ex is her ex for a reason. If you feel like a third wheel, don't hang out with them and take up tennis instead. It’s important to know that we can’t be all things all of the time to our partners. Your girlfriend and her ex may have a bond that is simply conducive to their growth. As well do the two of you. It is simply that every relationship offers different experiences.

You have to remember that she is with you now. And just as you have had exes in your past, so does she. Each partner in our lives represents something different to us. Her ex cannot compete with you just as you cannot compete with her. Two extremely different relationships and that particular one ended for a reason.

The only person you need to measure up to is you. Comparing yourself to anyone is insane. When we compare, we suffer. If you can't tolerate it, you can always request that she doesn’t see her anymore. Or just ask them to have a threesome and see if your girlfriend doesn't feel a newfound connection with you then.

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