My girlfriend of three months is much hotter than me! I feel fortunate, but I am very afraid I could lose her to someone more attractive. I am not ugly, I just I consider myself to be very average. And my girlfriend is very sexy and incredibly attractive. Everyone is always staring at her and I don't want to lose her. I love her, but I am afraid she will leave me for someone more her type eventually. Is this a legitimate concern?
Average in Arlington
Dear Average,Of course this is a legitimate concern. In fact, the more you think she will leave, the more probable that she will. You should be very concerned that you are creating a future in which she will leave you. With these thoughts in your head and a prolonged feeling of insecurity, you will inevitably shrink the relationship to nothing. Good times!
Find a way out of your head. Watch your thoughts without judgment. They will dissipate as you watch and notice the silliness of it all. I am sure a lot of us reading this wish we were in your shoes. In fact, what is her name?
Some people seem to be very focused on looks and not happiness. A lot of people I know have very attractive partners and are miserable. But they are willing to sacrifice for what the attractive person represents. As long as they have someone “hot” next to them, they feel worthy. They care so much about what other people think of them that they are blind to their own lives. The problem is that people are so wrapped up in their own drama that they are not thinking about you and your accessories.
Consider yourself lucky. You've got a Prada bag at a Ross price. I would just hope she is also giving, considerate, attentive, affectionate, caring, supportive, understanding, loving and kind. And if you insist on being afraid, then be afraid of losing her for those reasons instead. They are much more important.
Emily Wilcox is a lesbian advice columnist and author of 100 Lesbians Walk Into a Bar.... Follow her at @100lesbians on Twitter