I have been with my girlfriend for three months. Everything was going great until last week I looked at her Myspace page and she is listed as "single." I had never looked at her page before last week because she is hardly ever on there. But she is not single. I am her girlfriend. We were together last night and she told me she loved me.
I haven't said anything because I don't want her to think I am snooping around. I cannot stop checking it, though. Why is she listed as "single" when she is in a relationship? What does this mean?
Snooping in Suburbia
Dear Snoop Dog,
It means you may need to consider getting a life. It also may mean that I should consider re-locating to the Andes where I don't ever have to hear this question again.I know this is going to sound insane, but why don't you ask her why she is listed as "single." If the relationship is healthy, you would have no issues asking her this and she would happily give you an answer.
Here is the bottom line: If you are checking up on your girlfriend via the web or any other means, then the communication in the relationship has failed. Your only choice now is to open up a conversation. If that scares you, then you need to seriously reassess what it means to have a healthy relationship.
By the way, it's Myspace, not Ourspace. This relationship is very new and perhaps some boundaries could be set. Is it also possible that she just doesn't care that much about her page? It could mean absolutely nothing. She may have other things to do than tend to her profile on Myspace. You may be able to learn a little something from her after all. And perhaps you should both join Facebook when you have some free time, which apparently you do.
As usual, this is not about her. This is about your need for acceptance and respect. No website in the world will give you the recognition you need for your own self worth. There is only one person in the world that can do that and she is reading this right now.
You see it is never about burnt toast. It is always about the toaster. There can't be burnt toast without the toaster to burn it. And before that, it was just bread. Or something like that.
From Emily Wilcox, author of 100 Lesbians Walk into a Bar
