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Do I Tell her I Love her?

How Do I Know if She Loves Me Back?


Dear Lesbian Life:
At first me and this girl were just friends
(we'd fooled around but were just friends.) We would talk about how we don't believe in love. We'd both been hurt before.

Well we started dating and I truly do love her. I don't know how else to describe how I feel. She says she "loves" me but never without the quotes.

What am I suppose to do? How do I know if she loves me? Do I tell her I love her?

Dear Lover:

Do you tell her you love her or not? The best way to answer this question is to look at the pros and cons of each scenario.

There are risks to telling her you love her; she might not feel the same way. She may decide that she wants to move on and that would be painful. But in the long run, it will be more painful to stay involved with someone who doesn't return your feelings.

To me it sounds like you are already in a lot of pain because you feel the need to tell her. The only way you will know if she loves you back is if she tells you.

Of course, there is always the possibility that she loves you back, but is afraid to say so. Maybe if you are the first to admit your love, she will realize she loves you back.

If you are afraid to come right out and say you love her, you can broach the subject by saying, "What if I fell for you? What would you do?" Or saying that maybe you do see yourself falling in love one day. See how she responds.

Feelings change. That is part of life. People fall in love and out of love. I'm not sure it's something we can control.

If you truly love her, I suggest taking the risk and telling her so. There is always a risk with love. But usually it is a risk worth taking.

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