I am in a relationship for about one year. This is my first relationship with a woman. I am very comfortable being with her. We live together and we both have a child. We don't have problems with the kids.
Since this is my first relationship with a woman, I am finding it different because of the world around us. I am not liking that but this is the way it is. I never really thought about it but I do understand it. We can't hold hands or really touch without knowing people are looking or questioning. I am the type of person, I don't care. I am respectful but I will show some affection.
I am interested in how relationships like ours don't last that long. We talk about being together forever, I am sure like most. I love her deeply but I am wondering why lesbian relationships don't last??? Can you can explain a little bit more of that.
Dear Forever Lover:I love your letter because I feel that you answer your own question without even realizing it. It's hard to keep a relationship going, isn't it? What with kids, exes, jobs, financial issues and in-laws. When you're gay or lesbian, you add in factors like, societal disapproval, no legal protections, no formal blessing from family, friends and church, blatant discrimination and internalized feelings of shame and low self-worth.
How can you have a romantic date out if you don't feel comfortable sitting close, holding hands, touching one another? And with two kids, it's going to be hard to have a romantic night in.
When you think about it that way, it's a wonder any same-sex relationships survive at all. But the truth is they do. I have met many couples who have been together 10, 15, 25 and even 50 years.
The things that make lesbian relationships work are the same things that make straight relationships work: respect, communication, compromise, commitment, trust and the ability to admit when you're wrong.
But, you have a acknowledge that it's going to take extra effort to keep a same-sex partnership alive. Here are some keys to keeping love alive.