I’m 16, live in Australia and am going into year 11 at an all girls school. Last year one of my friends emailed me while she was overseas telling me that she looked at me in a "different" way. I must admit I was a little concerned at the time because she was my friend and I had never had any lesbian experiences or thoughts on it before. At the time I was dating one of my best friends (a guy).
Her first Lesbian Kiss
While she was away, we sent each other a lot of email and I found myself feeling an attraction to her. To this day I don’t know if I'm really in love or if I just fooled myself into thinking I was because she was so totally in love with me. When she got back we decided we wanted to have a relationship. After a while we became curious and started talking about kissing. One night I was staying over at her place and we both slept on her bed and we kissed for the first time.After that night we were both questioning if what we were doing was right. My emotions were flying everywhere. It was really hard because we had that night and then had to go to school and pretend that nothing had happened. We had more nights at each other’s houses after that and each night we got more curious. She started moving her hands under my shirt and up and down my back and I did the same to her.
Her first Lesbian Sexual Experience
The most recent night was at another friend’s house where two other friends we lying on the bed in the dark talking. We were lying on the couch in each other’s arms, trying to hold a conversation with them (it was hard!) When they were asleep she got much more physical and moved her hands from under my shirt to further down, past my belt and started moving them up and down my thighs, first outer then inner, then moving them in between my legs towards my groin. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It was amazing.However, we had planned to talk in person about our relationship (something we hadn’t done before) because we really needed to study this year and concentrate. We needed to sort out where exactly our relationship was going, set down what we wanted and what we could and couldn’t do. She doesn’t mind if people know about us, but she won’t tell her parents because she would never see me again.
Coming Out to Parents
I told my parents and they said they were fine with it at first but a little while ago my mum started going off at me about it being wrong and "controversial" and that it was the hard road that she didn’t want for me, that I wasn’t the person she wanted me to be. She said that this wasn’t what I needed in my life right now and that if I was really serious about this then I would wait another two years until I finish school.Confused Lesbian Teen
I guess my point to this is that I'm really confused. I have this person who I think I'm completely in love with and want to be close to but I can’t because everyone says it’s wrong. I need to know if I should keep this going or not. If I keep it going I would have to pretend at school and at the rate we're going, that is going to be and already is very difficult. I love her and I don’t want to hurt her but I need to know what to do. Two years is a long time to pretend.Signed,
Very Confused
What advice do I have for this confused teen lesbian? Read on...
