Do Parents Have a Published Guide of Retorts?

How did you come out to your parents?

I was 17, and I have told my mother in a whimsy when she saw me and my best friend - and a girlfriend of a year - just fooling around on a bench in the town. We were not actually doing anything sexual - just laughing and fighting over a bottle of juice. I have never liked my mother, and we have never gotten along well. She called me to her across the street and barked at me if I was a lesbian. I told her no, I was actually bisexual, and have been dating my girl for about a year. My mother, of course, as is her wont, went ballistic.

What did you say?

I have a rather low opinion of my mother as a person, and do not care about her at all. It might be sad for some, but it is true for me. Since I can remember, she has always been psychologically - and sometimes even physically - abusing me and my dad. Now she doesn't dare, as I am an adult who is not afraid to fight back. Anyway, after the street incident four years ago, we went home and she began screaming at me in one of her infamous - but oh-so-frequent - hysterical fits. I have always been a problem child for her, you see - I dress differently, act differently, talk differently, have different opinions about life - all of it too weird for her. So, she kept screaming at me and crying and yelling that I could not possibly know what I wanted at this age - do parents have a published guide for this type of stupid remarks? - and that I was confused, and she would never have expected this, she kept screaming that my dad - whom i am incredibly close to - would disown me and hate me and whatnot. I wanted to tell him immediately, although I know he doesn't support gays very much, but he was working far from home at the time, and although I called him, he did not pick up. The hell at home went on for three days, at which point I'd had enough, and simply painted the whole thing over without actually denying anything. Since then, I have been acting like myself - not flaunting, but not hiding either. I am by nature a very private person, so it does not make that much of a difference. My mother believes what she wants to believe, but constantly bugs me and my dad about why I do not have a boyfriend - I've liked some boys, even had a few meaningless affairs, and didn't tell her anyway, it's none of her business - and when I will start a family and that I should act and dress more feminine and stuff. I don't care what she thinks. She's suspecting me of being gay - as if I hadn't told her already. But, bisexual people are a myth as far as she is concerned. You're either heterosexual, or homosexual - anyone is between has to be lying one way or another. I drop hints all the time, and think my dad has begun to catch on lately. During the last year - I am 20 now - I have thought more and more about breaking the closet down publicly. But, as I am not American and live in a rather conservative state in the middle of Europe, I'll have to be careful. I have a second girlfriend now, and, just maybe, I'd like to keep her for life. :) We're planning to start a new life together.

Advice

• Always be yourself. Family and parents are not as important as everyone seems to think. True friendship is, and love. You have your own life apart from your family. If you don't, you should You didn't get to choose your relatives. But you get to choose all the rest - who you are, who you like, and what life you want to live. No-one can tell you what to do, or who you should be.
• You do not HAVE to come out. Only do so if you feel comfortable at the thought. Your life is your own, and your privacy is no-one's business.
• Do not depend on people too much just because society expects you to have a close relationship.