How did you come out to your parents?
I realized my sexuality when I was eighteen, but been attracted to females since I was twelve.
By the time I was twenty-three, I started to go to gayclubs, venues and lesbian bars.
I was fond of one particular bar and made it my business to go there almost every week. One night I met Irene. Irene took me to my first PRIDE.
I thought it was going to be some kind of FREAK-NIC? but I was so suprized of all the different lifestyles coming together and a day of peace love and family. I was intrigued I felt a part of the scenery and I enjoyed myself. then I realized my fate.
What did you say?
I wanted to tell my mom when I had a reason (i.e-girlfriend).Instead i came home, sat outside the back porch ,contemplated for an hour.
I called my friend and asked her in case she knew a good shelter to take in women. In case my mother freaked and told me to leave her house. She told me to stay by the phone and of course talk me out of it, because if it would take so much to live the way you wanted and jepordize your living situations and family then you should "come out" when you have reason. I told my friend that I have been living a lie, this is enough reason to "come out" and she my mother) had a right to know what her daughter does when she's out every weekend.
I pulled my mother from the house and had her sit on the porch my exact words were "Mom, come out to talk with me and don't forget to bring your cigarettes and drink with you." She did. Puzzled she lit her cigarette and said. "Okay I'm out of my cool house to sit out in this heat, why did you bring me out here, what do you need to talk about?" "Mom, you need to know where I've been these weekends when I leave the house." I asked her if she know what a pride was? She said a place where gays hang out at? why...why you ask me this, are you trying to say you're gay or something?
I said "Yes" Yes mom, I am a Lesbian. and I like women very much. I could feel my knees buckle and sweat pour from my head. I sat quickly because so many things rushed through my head and I felt so light- headded? Without another blank she said "okay" so you like women? what am I supposed to do.
sweetheart, she said in a loving but firm voice. " you're twenty-three years old and I didn't care if you loved a orange alien dinosour with green fingers, you're grown, I dont make those decisions and as long as you're happy.. I'm not happy with this choice but I want you to be happy- I'll accept you no matter what, you're my daughter and I love you"
I had tears in my eyes, happy becuase she accepted me.to this day, no matter what I can come to her (for certain advice-of course not lesbian life) for just about anything. growing up my mother was my mother but as I became a full-grown adult my mom is also my best-friend, and when I met my girlfriend I then moved out of mom's house with her blessings!
Advice
- BE SURE YOU ARE READY TO COME OUT-don't let nothing force you,you'll know when you're ready!!!
- HAVE A SUPPORTIVE BACKUP PLAN- in case the wanted result aren't your immediate results.(i.e- mentor,friends,other family, counselors etc.)
- DONT BE AFRAID-weigh the options either you will get the result you want or you won't,but you WILL live after the truth comes out.
- TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH- I'm convinced this is how life is. we all take leaps of faith. for any and everything.
- KEEP YOUR HEAD UP- once you told your parents,( which in my opinion is the hardest part, telling the world is a bit easier.)
