How did you come out to your parents?
I came out to my parents as lesbian when I was 15 (just a few months ago). I actually came out to them on separate occasions, first to my dad and then to my mom.
I have always been really close to my dad; we talk on the phone all the time when he's at work. I knew that he would be totally okay with it but I wasn't sure how my mom would react.
What did you say?
I was at my grandparents' house for the week when I called up my dad. We had been talking for a few minutes when I said, "Dad, I need to talk to you and Mom when I get home."
"You're not going to announce that you're lesbian are you?" he asked jokingly.
I didn't really have a good response for that.
The next day when we were talking on the phone, I came out. My dad was really supportive. He talked about how he didn't care who I was with as long as we loved each other. "You could live with a man or a woman or a dog, whatever makes you happy." I asked him how he thought my mom would take it and he said that she would be just fine (not that I was truly convinced).
A few days later when I was back home, I told my mom. She didn't believe me. She kept on talking about boys I had had crushes on in middle school and how I was too young to know, blah, blah, blah. She later tried to stop me from wearing ties and told me that if I wanted to wear ties, I would have to buy them with my own money (since I don't have an allowance or a steady income, my mom has always bought my clothes for me).
When I talk to my parents together, my dad always says that they both support me no matter what. My mother still hopes that I'm just going through a phase but I know she'll come around to the idea. My dad and I joke around about how butch I am but not when my mom's around. One of the weirdest things to me is that my parents decided that I shouldn't tell my younger brother "because he hasn't discovered his own sexuality yet."
All in all, I'm really glad that I came out.
Advice
- Make sure you know how they'll react before you come out. I knew my dad would be supportive because of how he reacted when his sister came out a few years ago.
- Have support. It could be a friend, a sibling, or one parent over the other; just know who is going to stand up for you.
- If you know they'll be supportive, tell them.
- Don't be confrontational about it.
- Give them time to come around to the idea, especially if they have a hard time at first. I don't mention which stars are hot in movies, even though I used to when I thought I was straight.
- Stay true to yourself.
