How did you come out to your parents?
I was only about 15 when I tried to come out to my mother. I had just changed to a different school. I ended up talking to her three times over the years and that's it. The second time I talked to her it was a year later and not much of a different reaction. the third time she'd reacted a bit better and that was last year. I'm 18 now and I still live with her so that I can get a college degree.
What did you say?
The first time, I told her that I liked a girl in my class. She said that's good that your making friends so quickly. I told her she hadn't let me finish my statement so she said "ok" making it drag on so it was more like "oooookk..." I told her I liked a girl in my class and that it was more than just a friend. She just stared at me for a long time and then started crying and saying, "Why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me? Is that why?" I held on to her as she cried like she did me when I was crying and I let her get it out.
She then sat up and said she didn't want to hear anymore about it and that it was just a stage, that I'd realize my error later and to get ready for supper. It was silent at the dinner table that night and she didn't look at me. It eventually went back to how it was before action wise but I could feel the rift.
The second time I talked to her, I told her that my feelings had not changed about girls and that I didn't mean to hurt her but I didn't feel as close to her anymore because of it and I didn't want that. She told me again that it was a stage and that I'd realize the mistake later and that she didn't want to hear it anymore. I was hurt to the core.
Well, my mother and I are both stubborn so I brought it up again last year. I told her I didn't mean to hurt her but that the 'stage' still hadn't ended and that it never would. She told me I was wrong and I'd see that she was right one day. I told her that I didn't think so but ok. I then told her that my friend, who she liked a lot and whom had stopped coming over, had been my girlfriend and that we were in a rough spot and I needed her support. She said that my ex was never to come over again. My ex and I are still really good friends but every time my mom sees her she doesn't look at her or if she's brought up in a conversation she cringes and she gets mean with me. She told me she loves me and that she'll support me no matter what but her actions say otherwise. So long as I'm under her roof I'm not to have a girlfriend or if I do not to bring her home. I'm also not alowed to spend the night at anyone's house; female OR male; friend or not. I still feel like an ocean sits between us and she's not willing to try to take it away but I feel like she's trying to fool herself into thinking it never happened still to this day. she wears a mask and so do I. I told my dad everything and he's cool with it all since I've been 15. I feel closer to him than ever before and I'm glad.
Advice
- no matter what happens you should be true to yourself.
- not all parents take things the same way.
- you can't force someone to change no matter what.
- try not to let masks become your face.
