How did you come out to your parents?
I came out to my Mom during a TV show. She and I used to watch ER together, and there was a story arc about one of the main characters realizing she was a lesbian. There was an on-screen kiss between her and her lady, and my Mom said she couldn't imagine how the actress could manage to pretend to be gay; that it must feel so weird.
What did you say?
I told her I didn't think it would be any weirder for a straight woman to kiss another woman on screen than it would be for her to kiss a man she wasn't attracted to. I then added "I wouldn't know; I've never had to pretend to be gay". My mom gave me this funny look and said "do you mean you are gay?" I had no idea what to say! I had known for a couple of years I liked women, but had no intention of coming out yet, and I hadn't even been thinking that at all when I said it; I just meant that none of the school plays I'd been in involved any lesbian characters!
I was so nervous and startled I started giggling; it got so bad I couldn't breathe and I left the room without saying anything. After I got a hold of myself I came back into the room and just said "yes". Mom looked at me for a few moments, then said she'd sort of suspected. That was about it. Eight years later I know it's still a little weird for her sometimes, but she's very supportive.
Advice
- I already had a strong and supportive friends group; they knew I was gay and wholeheartedly accepted me. Coming out to non-family was a great idea, because had it gone badly I had people I knew I could turn to, without having to worry that they would reject me as well. It gave me courage.
- I was lucky to be born to fairly open-minded parents. I meant to wait until I moved out so that if there were any issues, I wouldn't be stuck in an unhealthy home situation. I think that if you're unsure of their reaction, that might be a good idea.
