How did you come out to your parents?
I was 20 years old when I came out to my family. I will preface this by saying I know people who have had bad coming out stories and I feel bad, but it's important to know that not every coming out story is a horror story.
What did you say?
I've never kept anything from my mom, she's my best friend in the whole world. Right around my 20th birthday I had my first crush on a girl, and my mom happened to be visiting so I just told her I had a crush and talked about her nonstop on the way to my birthday dinner. I came out to my dad and my siblings about 5 months later. I called my dad first and said, "hi, how are you doing, etc. I was just calling because I wanted to tell you that I think I am gay. I haven't had a girlfriend yet, but I've finally had crushes and I'm really happy to share this with you." and he said, "That's really great, and when you meet a girl, we'll have her over for dinner." Then I called my siblings starting with my sisters, who are twins. I said the same thing to them and they started jumping up and down and screaming they were so excited. One said to the other, "You have to hear this, this is the best news ever!" I then called my brother who, though not quite as excited, was very accepting and processed the news more thoughtfully. He was the only one who asked me any questions, asking when I knew, who my first crush was, and if I now liked purple and rainbows more :)
My coming out has been a really positive experience for our whole family. We have a family friend who is my sisters' age who came out to her friends the year before I did, but her parents are unwilling to accept her. My sisters told her about my coming out, and told me she has felt better about herself because of it and found the courage to announce her relationship with her current girlfriend. My sisters chat about me with their friends, referring to me as their "gay sister," which has allowed some of their classmates who are less knowledgeable an opportunity to ask them questions about me, and the greater lgbt community. On a fun note, the last time I was home, my sisters and I bonded while watching "But I'm a Cheerleader" together, which they had seen in their GSA club at school.
Advice
- I get along great with my family, and I knew coming out would not be an issue. Only you know your family, and only you will know when it's right for you. Don't let anyone pressure you to do something you're not comfortable with, because your instincts are probably right.
- Prepare for difficulty, but don't go in assuming you'll meet resistance. Like I said before, not all coming out stories are horror stories.
