How did you come out to your parents?
I told my Mom that I was gay in the middle of an argument about 3 weeks ago. I am 19 and have been working up the courage to come out to her for about a year now. My final burst of courage was brought on by my new relationship with my girlfriend. I love her and felt this was something I had to do for her. I knew in the future it could bring up problems in our relationship. I felt ashamed of keeping it a secret and felt there was more to my secret building up. I was finally ready to tell her and I knew it was not going to go well. I knew this was going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done.
What did you say?
I totally told my mom in the wrong way. Looking back on it, it was wrong of me to scream it in my moms face, but it was the easiest way of telling her. my sister, my mom and I were in a huge argument about family issues. The whole time all I was thinking is "how will I tell her?" "Is this the right time?" so in the middle of this argument my mom decides to drive away and me and my big mouth decide to scream in the car window "by the way I'm gay" All I can do now is turn away and cry as my Mom slams on her breaks and puts it in reverse. She parks in the driveway behind my car, and starts to scream at me these ridiculous things. like you're diseased, you need therapy. My Mom disowned me for being gay and being honest with her. She actually had the nerve to call me her son. she kept going on and on about how disgusting I am and all I can do is sit there sobbing leaned up against my car with my sister by my side even more upset then I am at her. My mom was having other problems...she said that I had disappointed her and the only reason I had come out to her at this moment was to bring her down even more. She was now coming up with threats to kill herself and quit her job, which I knew was all just talk. I do not regret telling her but I would defiantly do it differently if I had the chance. This processes has been different then I would have imagined. It has brought a new opportunity for me to become distant from my mother and forced me to let go of our relationship in away. I don't feel so guilty about leaving home and starting my own life away from my mom.
Advice
- I would have tried to have this conversation in a civilized way.
- I would have waited until my mom was in a more stable position in her life.
- Its been 3 weeks now and surprisingly my Mom and I are talking again. There are still many awkward moments and our relationship will never be the same.
- I never thought my Mom would come around to talking to me again. she may never accept the fact that I'm gay, but because I decided to stick around we have somewhat of a relationship and can still remain close even if this big part of my life is unspoken, it still has room to grow and surprise me more.
