Newtothistoo
- I have been a same sex, lesbian, relationship for six years. There is a sex issue to that there is no doubt, we don't have it. My partner came out for the first time as a transgendered individual and so that adds some layers to the situation. I have learned that if a couple is not having sex but for once a month that is considered a sexless relationship. I don't know if it is a special lesbian issue but I hear from the community that it is. I believe there is a solution but it takes effort. I also think one can relax and let the issue go for many moons and still no resolution so it is not about one being uptight about it. And I agree sex is not all that there is to a relationship, and people have different libidos but for one partner not to have one at all and the other to be average, it's an issue. A professional told me that the best lesbian lover is a woman who knows how to please herself. I think meeting each others needs is very important.
- —Guest alicia_goodman@att.net
If I am not mistaken
- Has any tried to bring about Romance into this? Romance her. Make her feel as though she is the only woman on earth and you want her to be yours. Make her feel like she will simply melt in your arms if you hold her. Where is the passion ladies? Show them. Be assertive and show them where it's at. Do something spontanious, something unforgettable. Don't even mention that you will do something for her just do it. Surprise is a key to many a things my lady friends. Be her "knight in shining armor". To whisk her away from anything and everything unpleasant to her. Maybe I am living in a fairy tale but who knows it worked for a lonely like me. Try it it wont hurt I promise. Sex is a part of love, showing affection towards the one you love. Romance believe it you will or not takes part in both. That is if I am not mistaken. You decide yourself.
- —sweetloverofheart
Lesbian Bed Death means its over
- Hey everyone. My wife and I have been together for 3 years and 6 months this month and as far as we both feel if there is even a question of Lesbian Bed Death then the relationship is over. We have sex at least once a day...but sometimes a few days we will go without, but never has more than three or four days passed before we do it again. And I know a lot of you are probably thinking 3 years? Your still in the honeymoon phase..but trust me we are not, we have had our huge fights, our break ups, or get out of my house, sleep on the couch days...and we have always come out stronger than ever and happier than ever to be together. We make love on a daily basis because we still see each other the way we did the first day we met, although I believe we are without a doubt more in love than ever before. So...if Lesbian Bed Death is happening for you...look at what else is happening, cause the relationship may just be over and someone else out there is waiting to spend every day with you in be
- —Guest AztecSnow
Help
- I have been with my partner for two years. We are a young couple and lucky if we have sex once a month. She keeps giving me excuses for why she does not want to have sex. I have tried new sex toys, role-play, lingerie, date nights and still she doesn't want to have sex. When she is not making excuses she claims it hurts and is a medical and psychological issue. but she wont schedule an appointment with the therapist and doesn't take her "meds". I keep coming to the conclusion that the problem is me-she doesn't find me sexy anymore. She gets angry when I discus the issue with her. Please I need help with this one. We are having a commitment ceremony in two months and I want to make sure I am not making a mistake. Intimacy is important for relationships to work and I am terrified.
- —Guest Ida
Calm down ladies.
- Hey, me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship, so I understand where the sex problems kick in. We have phone sex, almost once every week. But you have to sit back and ask each is sex really everything in your relationship? Is sex what's keeping you two together? Is that what brought you together in the first place? Relax. Suprise your girlfriend with some NEW sex tricks. NEW undies and bra. NEW turn on tricks. Keep it new. Trust me.
- —Guest ThatOneGirl.
forced celibacy
- This is my first same sex relationship and I have to admit our sex life is non existant. In the beginning ther was sex daily, then it became weekly, then rarely and now not at all. She says she has no libido but loves me and is attracted to me. I can't relate. Since I'm the femme one, I used to let her initiate. When that stopped happening, I tried to initiate but got rejected again and again. Now my feelings are hurt, so i won't initiate at all. I'm bored and also angry that I'm being forced to be celibate. I want to have sex outside our relationship, but she won't agree. I feel I have two choices now, leave her or cheat.
- —Guest Becca
bringing it back
- My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years. We have an 8 year age gap between us. I'm 20, she's 28. You would think that she's more experienced, but I am. Before each other we had never experienced an orgasim, In the beginning it was amazing. I lived with my mom and she lived with hers. we snuck around alot. I think that's what made it exciting. As soon as we were able to have sex whenever, we stopped having sex. she still lives with her mom & I moved out of my apartment due to the economy we had been stressed out & depressed. But out of nowhere we brought it back. she got a new job we're pulling things back together & we're sneaking around again. The thought of being busted adds a lot of spice to the sex life. The bed of her truck out on an old dirt road where anyone could drive by brought back our sex life. Take things back to the beginning when things were new and exciting.
- —Guest lexipoo
Help
- My girlfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years. Our first year was our honeymoon, then we slowly drifted apart. We love each other so much, but it seems as though everyday is a fight about something very meaningless. I would love to find some way to start it up again the way it was but she is just so reluctant to give that communication or that long kiss..
- —Guest girl_05
Lesbian Sex and Relationships on the Who
- Higher medical risks and consequences have always been direct result of unstable traits and behaviors. Most of the arguments we here seem to always be in the context of the gay man. Not too long ago, there were hardly any medical studies about the risks and consequences associated with lesbian sex. It was believed, and still is in many cases, that lesbian sex is less risky than hetero sex. And how many lesbians do you think use dental dams or place condoms over their vibrators or dildos where cervical excretions are shared and exchanged during their lesbian sexual encounters? Studies are coming out now that are finding that lesbian sex is linked to higher risks of bacterial vaginosis, HPV specifically genital warts—squamous intraepithelial lesions, trichomoniasis, syphilis, and Herpes simplex virus (HSV), and cervical cancer even among women who have had no prior sex with men. They also show that women who have sex with women have a higher risk of HIV/Aids due to the fact that they are finding that most of identified lesbian have had sex with bisexual men much more so than a hetero woman has. Transmission also occurs through vaginal and cervical secretions between lesbian women. Here are the medical sources for these claims... ^ Women Who Have Sex with Women (WSW), Centers for Disease Control, 2006 (MMWR August 4, 2006 / Vol. 55 / No. RR--11). Retrieved on January 9, 2009. ^ Frenkl, Tara Lee, Potts, Jeannette (February 2008). "Sexually Transmitted Infections", Urologic Clinics of North America, 35 (1) p. 33–46. ^ King, p. 226. ^ Risser, Jan M.H., Risser, William L., Risser, Amanda (December 2008). "Epidemiology of Infections in Women", Infectious Disease Clinics of North America, 22 (4), p. 581–599. ^ King, p.229. ^ Zimmerman, 360. ^ HIV/AIDS Surveillance Report: Cases of HIV Infection and AIDS in the United States and Dependent Areas, 2006. Centers for Disease Control. Retrieved on January 9, 2009. Also, lesbians have the highest rate of domestic disputes than even gay male relationships. Lesbians is literally 1 out of 2 relationships. Gay males are 2 out of every 5. If these statistics were the same for heterosexuals, then it would appear as if everybody has lost their minds. Also, it is to be noted that the nature of their domestic violence on each other typically involves the same discriminatory verbal and physical abuse that they continue to blame on the so-called intolerant heterosexual society. Here's the Source, It is a PDF document http://www.uncfsp.org/projects/userfiles/File/DCE-STOP_NOW/NCADV_LGBT_Fact_Sheet.pdf
- —Guest Pat
Leave your problems out of bed.
- I agree when someone said that many problems and situations should not been shared, not tell all. Maybe she's tired of her job and don't want to listen more problems but in consideration to you she will stop and listen. It is possible in the first, second and depends on her patience on third time, but she'll start think that she's dating with someone that is boring, that don't know how to resolve own problems and it will decrease her necessity to go to the bed with you and to consider you as her partner. Try to let the problems out of your home, out of your bedroom and out of your relationship, try to talk about movies, going out, friends, jokes everything that you have in common. It works and makes you an interesting person everyday to her.
- —anitapaulita355
hot day's of summer
- I am With a wonderful and sexual woman, but when the weather gets too hot to make love we stop. Oh, we want it but not when it's hot..lol So we try and find ways to save money to go to a motel with air. With 3 kids, now 2 we still have a hard time finding time. We are either to tired or its the kids. But we have been together only 5 soon 6 yrs. and We are never leaving each other. We meet later in life, her going from one bad to another and me to until my stroke, which she did not mind. We fell in love at first sight and she helped me learn to drive again, which has always been my love(wonder lust). The crazy part of all this great stuff that we are we have min. fights over the kids.(21,20 & 14). I'm strict and shes too easy, but we stop and talk it through and we decide together how to disciple the kids. With any relationship the answer is always TALK, if to mad wait yelling does no good. Try it later and one at a time talk and meet in the middle. it worked for a couple of 54 yrs.
- —Guest Buffalo deb
shut up
- the person who said "too much sharing" is totally right. i am kind of detached...i was raised by a very feminine single mother, but i was always the "man of the house" (if you will ;0) anyways...i have been in some long ass relationships and in all of them the...the other (i amost said the woman) person in the relationship always say "you're so sexy, i don't know what it is...you're still mysterious to me." they've all said things like that, and i do believe that's what keeps them interested, well, part of it. getting dressed separately for dates, love notes, being irresponsible sometimes and acting like "what? sorry...my bad" then sex it also great. remember you have friends for a reason (if you have friends :p) confide in your friends sometimes, go out with them, workout with them...missing your significant other can also make the sexual pizazz fizzle again--oh! and if you've "changed" get your fat ass in the gym! gotta stay hott duh
- —Guest scottie
tiana
- You're prob. better off without her. I know it may hurt...there is many fish in the sea. Don't get yourself down! You will find someone & when you do...be better then your ex...grab your girl & just keep walking! =)
- —Guest tdsgirl
ME TOOOOOOOOOOO
- so i am suffering from the same problem.. i been with my gf for almost 2 years and the past 6 months we dont have sex like we used to. im a femme and she is a stud so she naturally is more aggressive but when it comes to sex i am more aggressive and i dont think she likes that so i fall back and let her come to me but if i leave it up to her we will never have sex.. she loves me and i know that but i just get frustrated when i dont have sex and take it out on her other ways.. whats even more annoying is that she would text me from work and say when i get home i wanna F... but she gets home and goes to bed.. i really dont know what to do.. HELP!!!
- —Guest SASHA
Lack of Sex In Lesbian Relationships
- After 23 years together my Catholic partner has decided that unless she gives up intimacy she will not see God...I can compete with another woman...maybe even a man---but there's no way I can win a contest with God. So I am left with a shreaded heart and an ocean full of tears.
- —Guest TMS
